Feelings Are Like Waves

Posted on January 7, 2016 by Barry

“Feelings are much like waves. We can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.”

-Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alain Bachellier

One of the greatest freedoms each of us has is the freedom to make choices on a daily basis. Examine your day closely. How many choices did you make intentionally, and how many by default, without thinking?

This examination along with its increased self-awareness will likely have you notice the accompanying feeling about what you are doing, and perhaps with whom you associate.

Today’s quote points us in the direction of actually choosing our perceptions, and thus our feelings, to catch only the waves we most desire.

EXERCISE:

Consider using a journal to capture your feelings as you surf through your day. How can you choose far more ideal waves that will give you the best rides of your life?

Day of Infinite Length

Posted on January 5, 2016 by Barry

“The day is of infinite length for him who knows how to appreciate and use it.”

-Johann Wolfgang Goethe, 19th Century German writer and statesman

Image from www.rottentomatoes.com

In the 2006 movie CLICK starring Adam Sandler, the hero is an overworked architect who neglects his family. He acquires a magical universal remote that enables him to fast forward through unpleasant or outright dull parts of his life. He soon learns that the seeming bad moments he keeps skipping over contain valuable time with his family, and important life lessons.

EXERCISE:

How can you use your own life remote to slow down or pause the passage of time, so you can more fully appreciate each moment of every day?

Don’t Let Yesterday

Posted on January 4, 2016 by Barry

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

-Will Rogers, 19th/20th Century American Cowboy, Vaudevillian, and Humorist

Image from denvertent.com

Imagine you are planning to take a hike, climb a hill, or even scale a mountain. Your goal is to go as far as you can and see all the beauty along the way. Unfortunately, you have chosen to carry a very heavy backpack filled with too many weighty issues from your past.

EXERCISE:

What can you do to lighten your load and carry fewer yesterdays, in order to make the best out of each and every day ahead?

Small Minds

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Barry

“Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.”

-Zig Ziglar, late American author and motivational speaker

image from theproductivtypro.com

Who are some of the small-minded people in your personal or professional worlds? What qualities or characteristics have you assigned to them? See how many of the following qualities describe those who appear to have diminishing or completely crushing the dreams of others as their purpose:

Antagonistic	Righteous	Fear-Based
Condescending	Oppositional	Aloof
Perfectionism	Judgmental	Overly Aggressive
Controlling	Critical	Unethical
Combative	Wishy-Washy	Disrespectful
Temperamental	Pessimistic	Arrogant
Volatile	Uncooperative	Dishonest

EXERCISE:

How can you reduce or eliminate the small-minded people in your world, and replace them or attract more big-minded people to support your biggest personal and professional dreams?

Consider making a list of the big-minded qualities and characteristics to help you recognize these folks when you meet or see them.

Make a New Decision

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Barry

“Help someone make a new decision, based on new alternatives, and a new story.”

-Seth Godin, American author & entrepreneur

Image from sethgodin.com

One of the few bloggers I read each day without fail is Seth Godin. He has been consistently blogging for over two decades, and has one of the highest readerships worldwide. Beyond his amazing dependability are his thought-provoking and brilliant perspectives on many ordinary things about life, success, and making a difference. Take a bit of coaching and check out his work at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/.

Today’s quote is perfect for this time of year, as we all resolve to be a better version of ourselves. Godin suggests that when we take on the role of coach, mentor, or advisor to others, we help them make new, powerful value-based decisions that come from the story they wish to tell next year at this time.

One wonderful by-product of playing this role for others is that it is almost impossible to not reap extraordinary benefits in your own life. Givers Gain.

EXERCISE:

Select at least one person from your personal and professional worlds to coach, mentor, or advice regarding their decision and the new stories they wish to tell next year.

Things You Have

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Barry

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alvanman

With Black Friday behind us and the Christmas holiday just days away, a great deal of attention is being devoted to consumerism and asking our Santa’s for the things we desire.

About ten years ago, my wife Wendy and I took a very special vacation to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We made a practical budgetary decision, and promised to forgo purchasing additional gifts for one another.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked to see wrapped packages from my wife sitting by the fireplace. I began to get upset, thinking she had broken her promise. With an elfish smile, Wendy simply said“Yes, I know what we promised,” and asked me to open the gifts.

To my pleasant surprise, inside those packages were some of my favorite possessions⏤things I already owned and loved. Opening the packages caused me to remember how much I enjoyed them!

EXERCISE:

How can you take greater satisfaction in the things you already have, rather than things you want or even receive? Consider paying particular attention to non-material items.

When You Die

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Barry

“What if when you die, they ask: How was Heaven?”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Close your eyes and imagine how heaven would look and feel. Take your time, explore all the vivid colors and inspiration beauty of this Utopian world.

Now imagine that you are a friendly alien visiting the earth for the first time, viewing this beautiful blue, green, and white world.

What if Earth were heaven? What if we were all too unaware to appreciate what was right in front of us all along?

EXERCISE:

Assume a “Heaven on Earth” attitude all day today, and consider sharing your thoughts with those you care about, or simply capturing your perspective in a journal or notebook.

Everyone you meet

Posted on December 11, 2015 by Barry

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

-Wendy Mass, Author

Image from flickr by Jennifer

One of the great honors of being a coach is the fact that people open up far more completely than in your typical daily discussions. It is not uncommon for clients to share some of their most difficult and challenging issues, because they realize a greater likelihood of progress is possible when they acknowledge their difficulties.

My experience of over 20 years and well over 1,000 clients points to the fact that virtually everyone has battles and burdens.

EXERCISE:

How would bringing greater kindness and compassion to your interactions today bring greater strength and capacities to those around you, who are fighting battles of which you are not aware?

Be a Zapper

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Barry

“Be a Zapper, not a Sapper!”

—William Byham, Ph.D.

QC #922

Over my many years of coaching, I’ve found that the more simple an idea or behavior is, the more likely it is to be understood, applied, and habituated. When it comes to relationship development and creating empowering successful organizational cultures, today’s quote packs a ton of value in only six words.

The act of Zapping involves interaction with others in an energizing and positive manner. Examples are:

Being genuinely interested in others
Listening carefully and completely to what others are saying
Being open and receptive to the point of view of others
Looking for value in what others say and do
Saying Please and Thank You
Acknowledging the contribution of others

The act of Sapping involves the opposite behavior, in which others experience draining and energy-reducing interactions. Examples are:

Being judgmental and critical of others’ ideas and behaviors
Not listening to others, or ignoring them
Taking credit for others ideas or achievements
Interrupting, or not allowing others to express their views
Gossiping
Betrayal of confidences
Lying or being unethical

EXERCISE:

Create a Zapping/Sapping log book in which you can capture these daily energy boosters or drainers.

Request feedback from those around you. Work to increase your Zapping, and reduce your Sapping.

Consider picking up a copy of Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment by William Byham, and consider sharing this resource with others in your communities.

Look for Rainbows

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Barry

“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.”

-Author Unknown

photo from Flickr by Matthew Paulson

I often recommend Six Thinking Hats by Edward Debono to my coaching clients. This book can help them become more effective and successful in their personal and professional communities.

Based on today’s quote, the rain and the dark would represent the wearing of a black hat, which points to the negative, and why things are not working.

Wearing a yellow hat, which is represented by the rainbows and stars, points to the positive, optimistic, and constructive perspective relative to one’s circumstances.

Looking for and perceiving the good and workable possibilities in things is without question a skill that will bring you far greater results and life satisfaction than walking around in the dark, all wet.

EXERCISE:

Share this post with one person in your professional and personal worlds. Ask them for feedback regarding how often — or not — you look for the beauty of the rainbows and stars above. If they are open to your coaching, you may offer your view of which hats they wear, as well.