Build a Bridge

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Barry

“Cry a river, build a bridge, get over it.”

—Author Unknown

Image from landscapesofunderstanding.com

For most people I work with as a coach, life is difficult, challenging, and often upsetting from time to time. Some are so stuck or stopped that they can hardly see any path forward.

During these times, feelings run high and the “emotional tension” they experience as part of their current reality must be acknowledged fully so they can cry the rivers that are appropriate. Only then can they collect themselves to realize that life goes on. Building bridges to the future is now the job at hand, to realize their resolve and get on the other side of life’s barriers and obstacles.

EXERCISE:

How can you fully acknowledge and experience all the emotions associated with some of your most significant challenges? How can you use that wisdom to garner the strength and capacities to build bridges and get over situations on your life journey?

Learning to Overlook

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Barry

“Wisdom is learning what to overlook.”

—William James, American philosopher and psychologist

The first book I ever read by Robin Sharma was The Monk who Sold His Ferrari. It is an amusing and insightful story of a hard-driving attorney, determined to win every case and annihilate his opposition while he reaps the material rewards of success. As you may guess from the title, he experiences various life events that literally stop him in his tracks, and had him re-evaluate his life from a new perspective. He begins to seek a life of greater meaning and significance.

EXERCISE:

What issues, obstacles, life complexities, and other barriers are you facing that would be better overlooked?

Patience

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Barry

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet

Image from heyjamie.com

What is the current pace of your life? If you are like many, it’s busy, rushed, in overdrive, or even hyper-drive. You may find yourself eating fast or convenience foods on the run, skipping meals altogether, or getting a boost from coffee and caffeinated energy drinks. Or just as damaging, you may be missing out on the rest and exercise your body needs to reach and maintain optimal health.

What results would be possible if you took a more patient approach to life and your top priorities? What items on your to-do list could you reduce or eliminate, to make room for a more patient and peaceful flow in your life?

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to achieve a more natural and patient pace throughout your day?

How can you make this practice a daily habit?

A new book that will definitely help you progress in these areas is On Target Living, by Chris Johnson.

Leading the Pack

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Barry

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.fanpop.com

Today’s quote makes me think of the times my clients state that a colleague, coworker, or client “threw them under the bus.” In almost all cases, they say it was in an unfair, unjust, and detrimental way.

Blaming, bullying, one-upmanship, and office politics are common occurrences. How we respond to such attacks, and how we rise above their potential negative impacts is a skill which we could all benefit from time to time.

EXERCISE:

A book that I have read numerous times over the years – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – points to fundamental ideas that can help us all return, leading the pack, when we are thrown to the wolves. They are:

Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best

Is the Glass Half Empty

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Barry

“People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.”

—simon sinek, speaker and author

Image from breacan.org.au

Imagine you have an entire month to take the road trip of your life, anywhere you wish. You have just won the use of a large luxury mobile home or recreational vehicle. The only limitation is that you were only given half a tank of fuel.

Of course, we can look on the bright side of things to estimate how far we could go, or we can be upset given the limited range available for this adventure. This view of things seems silly knowing that we always have the ability to top off the tank anytime we wish.

EXERCISE:

Where in either your professional or personal worlds are you operating with the half full or half empty perspective? What would be possible if you assumed an attitude of overflowing abundance instead?

Be Stubborn

Posted on November 3, 2015 by Barry

“Be stubborn about your goals, and flexible about your methods.”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.jobsite.co.uk

A quality most people admire in their leaders is clarity around their visions, missions, and goals. We all lose confidence in those who flip-flop, leaving us feeling lost at sea.

At the same time, the route to achieving our desired futures must remain flexible and open to various course corrections, which also encourages the participation and collaboration of others who want to join the journey.

EXERCISE:

Where and on what issues are you or others in your world being too stubborn about your methods, and perhaps somewhat unclear about your goals?

On what matters would greater stubbornness or greater flexibility be the way to go?

Good Day

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Barry

“It’s a good day to have a good day.”

-Hillary Weeks, singer/songwriter

Photo from Flickr by J E Theriot

The Smiley Face as we know it today was created by Harvey Ross Ball, who at the time was employed by State Mutual Life Insurance Company of Worcester, Massachusetts. He created it in 10 minutes and was paid $45 for his effort.

Today, his Smiley Face can be found everywhere as part of our popular culture, and as the most utilized emoticon in our daily emails and social media posts.

EXERCISE:

How can you use Smiley Face, and of course your own smile, to support yourself and others to have many more good or even great days?

Hustle and Heart

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Barry

“Hustle and heart will set you apart.”

—Alisa Jacobs, ‎Entertainment Marketing and PR Manager at Diageo

One of the things I enjoy about certain quotes is their catchiness and rhythm. That they also communicate a fundamental truth is critical. These factors generate a stickiness that allows us to carry them in our minds wherever we go.

Examine the levels of Heart and Hustle you currently bring to your personal and professional efforts. Notice that if your Heart is not in it, your level of Hustle will rarely be, either.

EXERCISE:

What adjustments can you make in your heartfelt attitudes and efforts to set you apart from your previous self and those around you?

“A bad attitude is like…”

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Barry

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you change it.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Paul Chenoweth

Take a minute to list the people in your personal and professional worlds that have a bad attitude. If you need a bit of help, consider their level of negativity, pessimism, sarcasm, skepticism, and general resignation.

Have you captured your list of half-empty, no possibility, “what’s the use” folks? Now see how much you enjoy their company, or working with them. Where, if possible, have you already headed for the hills or done what you can to avoid these people?

What are the chances selected individuals in your world might be placing you on their list?

EXERCISE:

Although changing other people’s flat tires is tremendously difficult, you do have a far better fighting chance of changing your own. Consider the resources at www.lifehack.org to take a few simple steps to begin.

A bonus is that your own efforts will tend to inflate other people’s tires in the process!

“A great many people think…”

Posted on October 6, 2015 by Barry

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”

—William James, 19th Century American philosopher

Image from sites.bu.edu

The term “prejudice” carries negative connotations for most people. We see numerous examples related to prejudice when we watch the local, national, and global news.

Few consider themselves prejudiced. “That label applies to the short-sighted individuals out there, not to me.”

Today’s quote points to the fact that our everyday thinking is actually a form of prejudice that helps us navigate our world, on the one hand, and which can limit us on the other hand.

EXERCISE:

How often do you find yourself exploring new ways of thinking, or trying on views other than those you have held for years?

What would be possible, and what value could you create, if you were to rearrange your prejudices?