“If time were to take on…”

Posted on April 20, 2015 by Barry

“If time were to take on human form, would she be your task master or freedom fighter?”

—Richie Norton, author, entrepreneur, strategic advisor

Photo from Flickr by Gioia De Antoniis

Each of has the same 24-hours in our day. Some view this “life capital” from a constraining, scarcity perspective, thinking there is never enough. This often reflects on their attitudes and their level of fulfillment and engagement.

Others view time with an attitude of abundance. They champion and make the most of every moment, fully embracing the gifts each day can bring.

EXERCISE:

What adjustments can you make to your views about time to become more of a “freedom fighter” and less of the “taskmaster”?

“There are people who would love to have your bad days.”

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Barry

“There are people who would love to have your bad days.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Tristan Bowersox

A few weeks ago I visited my family physician. I was having a difficult time with a challenging bug affecting a lot of people.

My symptoms included sneezing, sinus congestion, a headache, a scratchy throat, and every coach’s occupational nightmare – laryngitis. My voice vacillated between bullfrog and complete silence.

My appointment time was 3:00 p.m.; I was still in the waiting room at 3:50. The only distraction was the video wall, showing the four seasons at a number of beautiful locations, and other images in the natural world.

Perhaps the most revealing way in which I passed the time was in observing other patients and their significant health challenges. It caused me to shift my perspective of my own “monumental” situation.

EXERCISE:

Notice how often you make mountains out of molehills, or major in the minors of life. Realize all the goodness and reasons for gratitude that surround you. How many people do you see in the course of your days that would prefer to have your life, even when you are having a bad day?

“No one ever injured their eyesight by…”

Posted on March 20, 2015 by Barry

“No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Tim Ebbs

A total solar eclipse will be visible in many parts of the world today, but not here in my home town in Michigan, USA. A total solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between the sun and the earth, and the moon fully blocks the sun. Click here to see if and when the eclipse will be visible in your area.

Most people know that looking directly at the sun can lead to permanent eye damage or blindness. Fortunately, looking at the bright side of life and having an optimistic attitude never injures – and usually aides – people in living happier and more successful lives.

EXERCISE:

Write some of the words listed below on a Post-it Note and stick it somewhere in your home, office, or car where you will see it several times over the next 24 hours… or longer, if you wish.

Cheerful	Hopeful	Positive
Sunny	Encouraging	Idealistic
Promising	Upbeat	Expectant
Rosy	Happy	Enthusiastic

Complaining is Draining

Posted on March 9, 2015 by Barry

“Complaining is Draining.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by David Blackwell

The discovery process I use to determine if a prospective client and I are a good fit includes 20 criteria. Each item in the survey provides insight into the likely success of our coaching relationship. Over the years, I have placed greater importance on the attributes related to optimism and a positive attitude.

Although individuals who exhibit high degrees of skepticism and judgmental tendencies can achieve favorable results in a coaching relationship, people working with these individuals can find the relationship extra challenging and draining.

EXERCISE:

Examine relationships in your professional and personal lives that you feel are draining. What adjustments could be made to change the relationships for the better? Please take a closer look at your own attitude and propensity for complaining, and consider if working on yourself might be a good place to start.

“A bad attitude is like…”

Posted on January 13, 2015 by Barry

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you fix it.”

— Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Paul Chenoweth

A not-so-funny thing happens when we have a bad attitude. People will avoid us. If they can’t avoid us, they will eventually begin to judge and criticize us—which is, in some regards, our bad attitude rubbing off on them, and a “flat tire” in our lives and relationships.

The good news is that we can control our perspectives and perceptions, inflate our view of the world with a brighter outlook, and move forward with others who want to ride along.

EXERCISE:

Ask at least one person in your professional life and one person in your personal life for coaching about the fullness or flatness of your attitude. Explore with them what modifications or adjustments would make the biggest difference, and promise to change with their support.

Another possibility would be to offer feedback and coaching, if requested, to others who would like to make adjustments in their own lives.

Feel free to reply to this post and let me know what happens.

“If you see the world in black and white, you’re missing important grey matter.”

Posted on October 15, 2014 by Barry

“If you see the world in black and white, you’re missing important grey matter.”

—Jack Fyock, PhD, Market Strategies International

photo from wonderfulengineering.com

When was the last time you had a conversation with a friend, colleague, or family member in which they responded to a statement with “I know”? Not the “I know” that is agreeing with the statement. This is the “I Know!” that indicates they have fundamentally stopped listening and have stuffed what you are saying into a pre-existing black/white category in their mind.

Ask those in your life how often you step into this “I Know” world — we all do this to help simplify our lives and navigate our world with greater ease. Alternatively, as Fyock suggests, we may be missing much of life by not using all of our grey matter to experience the many shades of grey an expansive and diverse life can offer.

EXERCISE

Imagine you were an artist who only had black and white paint to work with, and there was a rule forbidding you from mixing them together.

Now remove this limitation and paint away.

How can reducing your black and white “I Know” thinking expand your cerebral canvas to lead a more diverse and expansive life?

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”

Posted on September 24, 2014 by Barry

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”

-Eckhart Tolle, Canadian Author and Spiritual Leader

Photo from Flickr by Miguelanger Guedez

Although we live in a world that is constantly changing, I would suggest that much of our internal worlds remain the same.

Examine your own attitudes and beliefs about the world around you and you will likely notice that most have remained relatively constant for years, and perhaps throughout your entire life.

Examination and internal exploration are key in enhancing our journey of self-awareness. This allows us to determine if and to what extent our long-standing beliefs and perspectives serve us optimally.

In the event they do not, this new awareness can act as an agent of change as Eckhart Tolle suggests.

EXERCISE:

What daily habits, rituals, behaviors, and practices can aid you in the development of your awareness muscles, that support positive change in your professional or personal life?

Here are some strategies to consider:

Journaling
Meditating
Prayer
Reflective walks in nature
Reflective forms of exercise, such as Yoga
Deep Breathing

Feel free to reply to this message to share your own self-awareness practices.

“There’s plenty of room at the top, but there’s no room to sit down.”

Posted on September 8, 2014 by Barry

“There’s plenty of room at the top, but there’s no room to sit down.”

– Helen Downey (attrib.)

Photo from Flickr by Horasis

Look at the people you most admire in your professional and personal life.

How did they reach the top of your list? My guess is because of their values, their character, and the way they take a proactive approach to life.

Exercise:

Where would a “stand up and step forward” attitude help you take your rightful place among the people at the top of their game?

Never Quit

Posted on September 2, 2014 by Barry

“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

—Douglas MacArthur, American five-star General and Field Marshal

My Dad, Marvin Demp

I recently spent some time with my extended family in the Philadelphia area, due to the passing of my brother-in-law Arthur. One benefit of this sad time was the gathering of everyone to celebrate his remarkable life and to reconnect with one another.

During this time we visited with family from the age of one – little Noah – to my dad Marvin, age eighty-eight. Some of the discussions we had related to the changing phases in all of our lives, including a few wrinkles, an extra pound or two, and a little more grey hair.

I was delighted to see everyone still fully engaged in life — not a wrinkled soul in the bunch!

Exercise:

How can you stay fully engaged in your life, avoid wrinkles of your soul, and remain forever young – no matter what your age?

no matter where you go, there you are

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Barry

“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”

– Confucius, Chinese philosopher

Image from Flickr by docoverachiever

As a positive, optimistic, and upbeat person most of the time, it troubles me to see a lot of negativity in the world. Two related negative traits I observe often are blaming and victimization. When people demonstrate these qualities, the focus is always on others as the cause of a problem, and themselves as innocent victims.

Confucius is suggesting, with this quote, that we are always present in these situations, and if you dig a bit deeper, a part of this current reality puzzle.

Exercise:

How can you take a larger percentage of responsibility for the events and circumstances that make up your world? Where would adjusting your perspective, attitude, or point of view provide a shift in the way that people and events affect you?