Category Archives: Beliefs

For Things to Reveal Themselves to Us

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“For things to reveal themselves to us we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.”

—Thich Nhat Hahn, Vietnamese monk

My first career out of college was that of a science teacher. I’m still that guy who watches nature programs, The Discovery Channel, and I never miss an episode of How the Universe Works!

Are you a student of science, the scientific method, or the notable rock star Nobel Prize winning scientists of history? You might be shocked at just how long it took for their scientific contemporaries and the public to consider and adopt what many, at the time, thought crazy ideas about how things work.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of your life would holding on too tightly to what you know and believe be limiting?

How would loosening your grip or even abandoning some of your current views reveal new possibilities and opportunities to better your world?

You Must Look Into People as well as at Them

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“You must look into people, as well as at them.”

—Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, 18th Century British Statesman

Image of a man on the beach staring into space

Taking a sincere interest and seeking to fully understand the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of another could be one of the most important things we can do to change the world around us.

How many of your problems and life challenges – not to mention those of the world – are due to breakdowns in relationships and communication in general?

How often do you find yourself or someone else engaged in surface observations of others, with a critical or judgmental perspective? How does doing so diminish the relationship qualities including respect, trust, and cooperation?

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you look more deeply into the people in your professional and personal life, to change your world for the better?

Men are Not Against You

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“Men are not against you; they’re merely for themselves.”

—Gene Fowler, 20th Century American journalist

Image of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner

Image from Lesterbanks

Do you have any enemies? Is there an archnemesis in your personal or professional community? What is it like to be around this person, or even to simply think about them?

What have you done to contribute to the rift between the two of you? What have you tried to perhaps mend fences?

EXERCISE:

Instead of being against one another with all the damage it can produce, how would a better understanding of what this individual stands for help?

Once you better understand their motivators and beliefs, perhaps you can break the vicious cycle of making each other wrong.

Believe in Yourself

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“Believe in yourself a little more.”

—Author Unknown

Image from The Odyssey Online

A few weeks ago I began working with an exciting new coaching client with boundless energy and great potential.

As part of our kick-off Personal Excellence workday, we reviewed his 360° Leadership Survey, which examines his current style as a leader and manager, as well as his effectiveness in a variety of activities.

Although his perception of self was quite good, he was surprised, even a bit embarrassed, when his colleagues rated him significantly higher in virtually every area, including strengths and weaknesses.

Not surprisingly, he shared a bit of his upbringing. His parents were somewhat negative in their parenting strategies, leaving him feeling he was never good enough, and could never meet their expectations.

EXERCISE:

How would a far greater belief in yourself and your potential make a significant difference in living a happier and more successful life?

Where would a greater belief in those around you make a world of difference for the people you care about and love?

the truth you believe in

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“The truth you believe in and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.”

-Pema Chödrön, American Buddhist nun

Image of Pema Chödrön

Image of Pema Chödrön from calmfulliving.com

When was the last time you had a discussion with a friend, family member, or colleague in which they said, “I know” one or more times?

Consider that at such moments their beliefs and opinions are firmly cemented into their minds. Unfortunately, in many cases, they have literally stopped listening to any other perspective.

Turning this situation around, how often do you say “I know” to others, or just covertly think it to yourself?

EXERCISE:

Where and on what subjects are you clinging too tightly to your own point of view or perspective, making you unavailable to new possibilities?

How would an “I don’t know / I’m not sure / I’m curious” perspective create the greatest value?

Friday Review: Beliefs

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FRIDAY REVIEW: BELIEFS

How often do you review and reorganize the beliefs you hold? Here are a few belief-related posts you may have missed. Click on the links to read the full messages.

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”

 

 

 

 

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

 

 

 

 

“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”

 

 

 

 

How things should be

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“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”

—John M. Shanahan, author of Hooked on Phonics

image from consciouslifenews.com

image from consciouslifenews.com

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I teach my clients to coach themselves, with a technique I call The Pivot Point. The first part of this tool is to help my clients assess the “current reality” of the situations in their lives.

The challenge for most, at the beginning, is that they often believe that their perception of reality is shared by everyone around them.

EXERCISE:

How open are you to the possibility that the people in your personal and professional worlds perceive “reality” quite differently than you?

Believing in you

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“Sometimes you just need to be reminded: ‘You Got This!’”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image of Olympic Gold Medals. Believing in you

Image from Flickr by Zoe

The 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona, Spain were my inspiration to become a coach. With the 2016 Olympics right around the corner, we will all see extraordinary efforts and accomplishments. The most exceptional athletes will stand on that platform to receive their medals and hear their national anthem played before the entire world.

If you could jump into a time machine to explore the lives of each of these athletes, you would discover one common factor that contributed to their success. That factor was the faith, commitment, and support of family, friends, and of course, the coaches, who believed in their greatness.

EXERCISE:

Who can you thank today for always believing and having faith in you? Who in your world might experience a difference in their lives from more “You Got This!” messages from you?

Good Example

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“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”

-Catherine Aird, British Crime Fiction Writer

Image from jarofquotes.com

Image from jarofquotes.com

The other day I had a coaching session with a client regarding his parenting strategies. When he examined the behaviors that worked or didn’t, he looked to his own parent’s example for clues.

This man tends to emulate or copy the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of those he admires, and often does the opposite of behaviors he considered as horrible parenting.

EXERCISE:

How can you benefit most from examples set by others to coach yourself toward a more successful professional and personal life?

Where can adjustments in the examples you set coach your children as well as others in your life to lead more successful lives of their own?

What I Might Be

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“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

—Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher

Image from beyouonlybetter.com

Image from beyouonlybetter.com

We all want to be ‘right’ – to have the correct answer, to know the truth. We think that will bring us clarity, stability, and peace of mind.

But what if being ‘right’ only serves to put us in a safe and limiting box?

When we define something, we limit it. Perhaps we could instead distinguish ourselves by being open to the possibility of who we could be rather than placing limits on who we are.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you disengage from self-limiting beliefs?

If you find this difficult, ask a family member or close friend for their perspective.