Category Archives: Boundaries

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

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The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

—Stephen Covey, 20th Century American educator, author and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Renáta-Adrienn

I do a fairly good job of scheduling my priorities early in the morning and late in the day. It’s at these times that I seem to have the first and final say in what I do.

I have to admit that a good portion of the rest of my days get away from me — It’s here where other people’s agendas and priorities often bump up against my own.

As a confessed people pleaser, I often let the winds of change blow me off course, or I simply leave my schedule open to adapt to what others may want.

EXERCISE:

How would better daily planning and establishing more rigorous boundaries for your schedule make you a happier and more effective person?

Maintaining healthy boundaries is integral to your well-being

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Maintaining healthy boundaries is integral to your well-being. Be aware of where others end and where you begin.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Drew Hays

Where and when in your world do other people cross the line and encroach on your personal boundaries?

Most of us are familiar with the feeling when our physical space is entered and others are getting too close for comfort. In these cases, moving away and creating more distance usually does the trick.

What other situations do you face where people and things intrude in your world?

Consider your five senses as your “canary in a coal mine,” where various sights, sounds, sensations, smells — and even tastes — can come into play without your full awareness.

EXERCISE:

Conduct a sensory inventory of your environment.

Who are the people and what are the things that diminish your well-being?

What actions can and will you take to keep everything and everyone at a healthy distance?

Daring to set boundaries is having the courage to love ourselves

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“Daring to set boundaries is having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”

—Brene Brown

Image from Unsplash by Ralph Katieb

Over the past couple of years, I’ve become increasingly aware of various types of boundaries that people apply and often cross in our day-to-day activities.

Consider how Covid-19 has shaped our lives with social distancing, the use of masks, and a wide variety of other approaches to stay safe.

Before the pandemic and especially today, most of us have a sense of personal boundaries regarding our own bubble of comfort when at social gatherings. We can all feel the awkwardness and discomfort when someone entered our “no fly zone.”

EXERCISE:

Where in your life have others crossed the line and breached the walls of your well-being?

How can and will you find the courage to protect and love yourself when this may disappoint others in your various communities?

Friday Review: Boundaries

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FRIDAY REVIEW: BOUNDARIES

What boundaries have you set for yourself? How do you address the boundaries of others? Here are a few boundary-related posts you may have missed.

 

“You stand between whatever binds you to your past and whatever might be unbounded in your future.”

 

 

 

“Unless you plan on eating it, please don’t bring your phone to our dinner table.”

 

 

 

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

 

 

 

 

Unless you plan on Eating it

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“Unless you plan on eating it, please don’t bring your phone to our dinner table.”

—Author Unknown

No Phone Zone Image

Digital distraction is at epidemic levels. It is so out of hand that we now hear of multiple people committing suicide because they are unable to get their “digital fix.”

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can and will you draw the line and establish boundaries that cannot be crossed, to prevent this heads-down world from infecting your life and the lives of those you love?

Please consider the dinner table as a place to begin and then expand further to regain the peace and sanity you seek.

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

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“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

– John W. Gardner, American educator and politician

Girl-with-crayons-quote-597

Photo from Flickr by Roseannadana

Think back to the last time you visited the home of a family with young children. You probably saw various pieces of artwork created by those young Rembrants, Picassos, and Monets around their home, especially on the kitchen fridge.

Children live their lives as free spirits and don’t seem to be all too concerned about how things look. As we age, this changes. We become far more aware of the judgments and opinions of others and we often find ourselves holding back our most authentic expressions of ourselves.

Exercise:

How would your professional or personal life look if you threw away all erasers, and simply leaped into each day to pursue your own journey of artistic living?

You stand between whatever binds you to your past

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 “You stand between whatever binds you to your past and whatever might be unbounded in your future.”

– Seamus Heaney, Irish poet and playwright

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Image from Flickr by macinate

The beginning of the New Year is a poignant time for most people. It is, as Heaney suggests, a form of boundary between the previous year and the year ahead. Taking stock of the past can be a useful exercise to discover lessons learned, mistakes not to repeat, and places where you have succeeded, where you have considerable momentum to carry you forward.

Exploring the possibilities of an unbounded future in the various domains of your life can be very energizing and exciting. Tap into your courage, boldness, passion and values to make this future come true.

Exercise:

Select a coach, mentor, friend, family member or colleague to talk to about the unbounded possibilities of your future. Buy them a cup of coffee – or better yet, take them out for a meal. This is not an exercise you want to rush.

For extra credit, consider meeting with this person at least once a month to explore your efforts and progress throughout the year.