The Foolish Man

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”

-James Oppenheim, American poet, novelist, and editor

QC #914

I am currently reading The Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama. His teaching indicates that the purpose of life is to be happy.

Foolishly, many people pursue their happiness through extrinsic factors. Although many of these pursuits can result in pleasurable moments, rarely do they produce enduring or sustainable happiness. Wise people, on the other hand, have learned over the years that intrinsic factors much closer to home are the source of a meaningful and more enduring form of happiness.

EXERCISE:

How can you increase your own personal happiness by embracing more factors that lie right under your feet, and far fewer in the distance?

Changing Us

“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

A topic that comes up fairly frequently in my coaching sessions these days is aging. As someone in the middle of the Baby Boom Generation, I see that most of my contemporaries are also experiencing the “grayification” of our society. We’re dealing with aging parents and our own health and fitness related issues.

Despite all of our best efforts to eat better, exercise more, and get much-needed rest to renew and recharge, we are heading toward an entropy of life, where things begin to break down and stop working optimally.

There happens to be a new form of coaching called “Eldering.” One of its tenets is to assist people in navigating these years with more grace, dignity, and life mastery.

EXERCISE:

How can you adjust, adapt, or change yourself in relationship to those issues and situations that are unchangeable, to more fully experience a life of greater happiness and fulfillment?

“Life has no remote…”

“Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.”

-Mark Cooper, author of Edelweiss Pirates, Operation Einstein

Image from Flickr by Keith Williamson

Image from Flickr by Keith Williamson

If you were to walk through your family room, den, entertainment area, basement, or home theater, collecting all your remote control devices, how many would you have?

In many ways, we have developed into a remote control society, frequently looking for the simplest and least effort necessary to change things for the better. It’s so easy to delete, fast forward, or hop over commercials to get to the sporting event, sitcom, or drama that interests us.

Our lives, however, usually play one show, entitled “Our Lives,” and we cannot click a button to change it easily.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life is it time to get out of your chair and make the necessary changes you desire?

“Every success story…”

“Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.”

—Sir Richard Branson, KBE, founder of Virgin Group

Image from www.64ouncegames.com

Image from www.64ouncegames.com

We all know that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Life in general, and our journey toward success, never really works that way.

To navigate our world we must, as Sir Branson suggests, adapt, revise, and change our approach moment to moment. This iterative process works very much like an internal GPS system, constantly informing us of where we are, and where we wish to go. It helps us plot the alternative routes we can take to progress toward our desired destination.

EXERCISE:

Where is it necessary to adapt, revise, or change your approach to tell a more successful tale in either your personal or professional life?

“The world is full of…”

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

—W.B. Yeats, Irish poet and one of the foremost figures of 20th century literature

Image from freger.weebly.com

Image from freger.weebly.com

Take a moment to examine your current ability to see, hear, feel, taste, and smell.

Did you know that:

      • A Silvertip Grizzly Bear can smell you from 18 miles away?
      • Jumping spiders can see four primary colors versus the three that humans see?
      • Some birds have an internal GPS that acts as a compass, to help them find their way home?
      • The bat uses echolocation to navigate and catch its supper?
      • Catfish have 10 times more taste buds than humans (100,000 versus 10,000)?

EXERCISE:

How can you capture more of the magic life has to offer by sharpening and focusing your senses? One way to develop these capacities is to focus on each sense separately, whenever possible.

“People change and forget…”

“People change and forget to tell each other.”

—Lillian Hellman, American dramatist and Broadway screenwriter

Photo from onthejob.45things.com

Photo from onthejob.45things.com

Coaching as a profession has been around for over 20 years, and is estimated as a two billion (or more) dollar industry. Fundamental to the coaching process is the desire for both individuals and organizations to change for the better.

Rooted in this change process is the strong desire for a better future, and in particular, a high level of social support by friends, family, colleagues, and of course, coaches.

Open communication and clarity around this desire, along with some description of what behaviors are to be expected, are critical for optimal success.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently trying to change something in either your professional or personal life? How can you communicate this intention to those around you to rally the social support necessary for this change to occur and be sustained?

“You can’t start the next…”

“You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one.”

—Author Unknown

Imagine a book based on  your life, with a Table of Contents that looks like this:

QC #826How likely would you be to keep reading the same chapter over and over again?

Although the answer seems obvious, many people live their lives this way, where “today” looks a great deal like many of their yesterdays.

EXERCISE:

If today’s scenario is even a bit familiar, consider telling a new life story by using Stephen Covey’s “Begin with the End in Mind” habit. Work your way backwards to write about the page-turning journey that got you there. I hope it is a best seller!

“When nothing goes right, go left.”

“When nothing goes right, go left.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.picturequotes.com

Image from www.picturequotes.com

Not long ago, I attended two separate conferences with almost 500 coaches from around the world. One common quality among many, if not most coaches, is a positive attitude and the ability to influence their world for the better.

Common to many coaching sessions are situations where the client’s professional and/or personal worlds are off track, or headed that way. Many times a shift of perspective or a view through a more useful lens is all it takes to make things right again. Other times we must choose a more dramatic course of action by going outside our usual “go to” strategies.

EXERCISE:

Select a single area in your professional or personal life that is not going right at this time. Consider some alternative, “left turn” strategies or actions that you can—and will—take to set things right.

Consider posting one of my favorite quotes in a place where you will see it frequently, to remind you of this concept:

“When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.” (Tuli Kupferberg)

“The life you have led doesn’t…”

“The life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.”

—Anna Quindlen, American author and journalist

QC #788photo from www.lionsroar.com

One of my favorite movies is Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray. I always laugh as he lives February 2nd over and over again.

Through countless chances, he tends to make many of the same mistakes over and over, which leaves him in the same place as the previous day.

Eventually, he learns that his future can be altered for the better.  By choosing actions that are consistent with his commitment, he takes new and better actions that lead him to a different future, where in the end, of course, he “gets the girl.”

EXERCISE:

Take the time today to examine the life you have lived and determine what you wish to continue and what you wish to change. Select a close friend, family member, mentor, or coach to examine what you discover. Consider developing a plan over at least 90 days, to make the coming years more fulfilling and remarkable.

“Change Before You Have To.”

“Change before you have to.”

-Jack WelCh, retired chairman and CEO of General Electric

Click on the image to order from Amazon.com

Click on the image to order from Amazon.com

The current U.S. unemployment rate is in the area of 5.5%. Given the numbers from the past 5 – 7 years, this is a vast improvement.

Despite the multiple thousands of available jobs, many organizations are experiencing tremendous difficulty finding qualified individuals for the positions they have open.

What might the unemployment rate be if every open position were filled? What would it take for people to be qualified for such careers?

Unfortunately, because people can be resistant or reluctant to change, many discover that their previous “valuable” skills are either less valuable, or considered irrelevant in the current business world. Technology, outsourcing, and off-shoring are three factors among many that contribute to the elimination of many positions that were once considered good jobs.

The classic little business book, Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson, M.D., points to this all-too-frequent occurrence, which is now happening at unprecedented speed.

EXERCISE:

How can you embrace and proactively generate the needed changes in your skills and abilities to not only remain relevant, but to be uniquely qualified and highly desirable for the jobs of the future?

Where can and will you change and evolve in your personal life to keep up with and stay attuned to the world around you?