Category Archives: Change

“Instead of wondering when…”

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“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”

-Seth Godin, American author, entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker

photo from addictedtosuccess.com

photo from addictedtosuccess.com

The point of today’s quote is the main reason I am a coach today. Over 23 years ago, when I was working in sales and marketing for a well-known pharmaceutical company, I realized my inner voice was saying things like:

  • Thank God it’s Friday!
  • I don’t want to wake up and go to work!
  • When will this be over?
  • I can’t wait to go on vacation!
  • Oh, No! Monday is coming!

Of course, I’m being a bit dramatic. Still, as many as 70% of working professionals feel and say similar things to themselves and perhaps to others in their lives.

EXERCISE:

Should you see yourself or others in the thoughts above, find the courage to challenge yourself to redesign your life and career. You may find yourself looking forward to getting home from vacation, so you can get back to the exciting life you have designed.

Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of assistance. Write to me at: barry@dempcoaching.com

“Less is the new More”

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“Less is the new more.”
-JP Chartier, Canadian Author

The words “less” and “more” are among the most powerful terms used in a coaching discussion. When explored in depth, they have the power to transform your life.

You’re probably familiar with the metaphor of life being a jar that contains all our “stuff.”

Chartier’s quote suggests that we take a hard look into our jar and take the necessary steps to remove items that are no longer of optimal service to us.

When we do this, we experience the freedom and greater maneuverability this less-cramped space provides. Should we choose, we now have more room for the great stuff we desire.

EXERCISE:

Look into your own “life vessel” and create a list of things you would like to have less of in order to make room for the things you desire.

Feel free to reply to this post with your own less/more list, and share this intention with a friend, family member, or coach to support you in fulfilling this intention.

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”

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“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”

-Eckhart Tolle, Canadian Author and Spiritual Leader

 

Photo from Flickr by Miguelanger Guedez

Photo from Flickr by Miguelanger Guedez

Although we live in a world that is constantly changing, I would suggest that much of our internal worlds remain the same.

Examine your own attitudes and beliefs about the world around you and you will likely notice that most have remained relatively constant for years, and perhaps throughout your entire life.

Examination and internal exploration are key in enhancing our journey of self-awareness. This  allows us to determine if and to what extent our long-standing beliefs and perspectives serve us optimally.

In the event they do not, this new awareness can act as an agent of change as Eckhart Tolle suggests.

EXERCISE:

What daily habits, rituals, behaviors, and practices can aid you in the development of your awareness muscles, that support positive change in your professional or personal life?

Here are some strategies to consider:

  • Journaling
  • Meditating
  • Prayer
  • Reflective walks in nature
  • Reflective forms of exercise, such as Yoga
  • Deep Breathing

Feel free to reply to this message to share your own self-awareness practices.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank, diarist and Holocaust victim

Photo from Flickr by Symphony of Love
Photo from Flickr by Symphony of Love

If you happen to watch the news these days, it sure looks like the world could use some improving. You might ask yourself, “Who am I to tackle such a matter? I am only one person in the world and its challenges seem infinite.”

One strategy that comes to mind is related to that old saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” If you’ve never heard this before, the answer is, “One bite at a time.”

Exercise:

Examine the areas of your own life, including your health, your family, your local community, your workplace, and others that come to mind where you can seize this moment to take a small or big bite and improve your piece of the world.

If we all did this together each day, imagine how much the whole world would improve.

“Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.”

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“Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.”

– 14th Dalai Lama, Tibetan Buddhist leader

548Image from Flickr by Llima.

The other day, my wife shared with me the following quote by Rick Jarow: “When one door closes, another opens, but all too often, there is a long hallway in between.”

If the Dalai Lama were to speak with Rick, he would advise him that our values help each of us travel these long hallways.

Exercise:

Where have you had your arms crossed over your chest in an effort to prevent some form of change entering your world?

How would opening your arms, while still holding onto your values, help you to embrace this change, to lead to a more full and satisfying life?

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”

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“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”

– Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States

526Image from Flickr by Nanagyei.

In a world experiencing constant change, you would have thought by now we would have embraced it. How often do you notice yourself (or perhaps others) resisting, getting upset, arguing, or even getting angry when something or someone changes your (or their) world?

A possible reason for this reaction is the concern about or even fear of losing something such as familiarity, comfort, power, prestige, or control.

Exercise:

The next time you are initiating some change that will affect others, or noticing that some change is coming your way, look for the opportunity to engage others in this process.

A quote that I often use is, “People participate in that which they create.”

Please reply to this message if you happen to try this strategy, and let me know how things go.

we are challenged to change ourselves

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“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

– Victor Frankl, Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor

Image from likesuccess.com

Image from likesuccess.com

 This has been a particularly challenging week for a number of my clients, colleagues, friends and even family members. Unfortunately many of the situations they found themselves in were not within their control.

As Ari Weizweig, the CEO of Zingerman’s said, we’re not always living on “planet fair.” Feeling the upset and acknowledging it is a key first step to experiencing freedom from anger that could continue to poison our perceptions, attitudes and relationships.

Assuming the responsibility to change yourself in such situations means you are going to move forward and work toward a positive value-centered future as quickly as possible.

Exercise:

Acknowledge at least one upsetting event in your personal or professional life where you are not able to change the situation.

Determine how you will change your perception, attitude or behavior and regain the freedom to move confidently forward in your life.

“Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction.”

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“Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction.”

—Author Unknown

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Image from Flickr by epSos.de

Here in Michigan we pay particular attention to the weather. January was the snowiest in history and the temperatures were as cold as I’ve ever experienced. The weather forecast includes a metric called “wind chill” or “the wind chill factor, which is a combination of the actual temperature along with the wind speed, to provide a measure of how cold it actually feels.

Today we are all experiencing the winds of cultural and political change at a far brisker pace – personally, professionally, and perhaps even globally.

Exercise:

In the coming days, how can you either lean into or go with the winds of change to find your true direction? Consider the possibility of adding your own breeze to sweep you toward your destiny.

“Try brushing your teeth tonight with your other hand.”

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“Try brushing your teeth tonight with your other hand.”

– Ken Burns, documentary filmmaker

442Image from Flickr by pdpics.com

My family recently spent the holidays near Madison, Wisconsin with both of our children and their new spouses. Navigating the roads in this area was a new experience, even with GPS. My sense of direction was off for most of the visit.

It is estimated that about 90% of all of our behaviors are based on our habits and even the small act of brushing our teeth with the opposite hand can feel quite awkward.
The opportunity to see new sights and have many varied and different experiences during our vacation was definitely worth this awkward feeling.

Exercise:

What are some of the small and perhaps large changes you plan to make this year that will have you see wonderful new sights and experience memorable opportunities ahead?

“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no-one thinks of changing himself.”

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“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no-one thinks of changing himself.”

– Leo Tolstoy, author

I have to admit it: I never took the time to read War and Peace, or Anna Karenina, two of Tolstoy’s greatest novels. Maybe if Tolstoy was a blogger, I would be more versed in his work!

An interesting fact about him is that he was known as a moral thinker and social reformer. Some of his works are noted to have had significant impacts on individuals such as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Exercise:

What small or large changes can you make in yourself now and in the coming year that will not only change your world but perhaps also the world around you?