Category Archives: Communication

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Posted on by

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright

495Image from Flickr by garryknight.

Imagine that you have just had what you believe to be a highly successful conversation with someone in either your personal or professional life. You are absolutely positive that your communication to the other person was crisp and clear in every detail, and that you listened to each and every nuance that was spoken …

… only to find that it was all an illusion.

What went wrong and how can you improve the odds of success in the future?

Exercise:

Try the following four-step technique the next time you absolutely need to be sure that your communication is as effective as possible.

1. Be clear about what each of you wish to achieve before you start.

2. Listen even more intently to be sure you understand what the other person is saying. Be sure to share your understanding before you move on to the other points which you wish to make, by asking better questions that demonstrate your sincere interest.

3. Determine which mode of communication is optimal for results you desire. Today we have email, text, social media, phone, video and of course face-to-face to choose from – all of which have their benefits and their challenges. To increase your odds of success, consider doubling or triple communicating using multiple channels – and pay particular attention to the channel your conversational partner prefers.

4. Finally, take responsibility for all communications being successful by putting yourself in the position of your partner, so that they as well as you achieve the desired results.

“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

Posted on by

“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

– Unknown

453Image from Flickr by brizzle born and bred.

Learning how to communicate effectively is perhaps the highest priority for most individuals and organizations entering a coaching relationship. This may not be what they originally emphasize in the first meeting – instead they tell the coach they want to improve sales, productivity and quality.However, beneath most forms of achievement is a foundation of effective communication – and a critical subset of it is to truly hear and understand others.  A technique to improve your odds of being heard is to practice and master the art of listening to others first.

Listening to others is like emptying the other person’s “expression cup.” When we let others fully express their ideas, we create space for our opinions to enter the open spaces in their minds – especially if these are on the same topic as their ideas.

Exercise:

To turbo-charge your relationship skills and your communication mastery in the year ahead, look to your own ability to honor each and everyone you meet.

Seek to listen and understand others before you seek to be heard by them.

You may wish to download my Masterful Relationships workbook, which includes extra guidance on active listening. Go to http://www.dempcoaching.com/download-your-free-workbooks and enter the password barrydemp (all lower-case).

From Dan Reiland – pastor and pastor’s coach

Posted on by

“Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are making them feel good about you.”

– Dan Reiland, pastor and pastor’s coach

I know of few more profound truths than this, to support both personal and professional success.

Focus on others, show genuine interest, truly listen, and let them express themselves freely. Look for the value in their ideas and stop interrupting them to share your next brilliant thought. When you do these things, magic happens.

It’s amazing that when people feel great about themselves in your presence, they feel a greater affinity for you as a source of this feeling.

Exercise:

Send me an email with the subject “Communication Toolbox” and I will send you a free copy of six simple and powerful techniques to take your personal and professional relationships to the next level.