“The biological lifespan of a particular emotion is about 90 seconds. It’s the afterlife of that emotion that we constantly review and bathe in.”

“The biological lifespan of a particular emotion is about 90 seconds. It’s the afterlife of that emotion that we constantly review and bathe in.”

—Chip Conley, author of Emotional Equations

Image from Pinterest

Take a look at these two lists and compare them to how you and those close to you have been feeling lately:

LIST 1 LIST 2 LIST 1 LIST 2
Fear Optimism Anger Love
Sadness Acceptance Aggression Delight
Contempt Awe Remorse Trust
Boredom Serenity Annoyance Admiration
Loathing Joy Grief Appreciation
Vigilance Anticipation Pensiveness Amazement

How long do these emotions last throughout your days? To what degree can and do you simply notice the undesirable ones and release them? How often do you try to resist and fight them only to discover how much they persist?

EXERCISE:

How might paying particular attention to your positive emotions offer better waters to bathe in?

Consider exploring Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions to look a bit further into this subject.

“Worry is interest on money never borrowed.”

“Worry is interest on money never borrowed.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Ben With

Imagine you had a financial crisis. Instead of asking family or friends for assistance, you found a local loan shark, and borrowed money at a crazy interest rate that compounded daily until the debt was repaid.

Unfortunately, the intention to repay the loan quickly was overtaken by other life events, and the debt and your level of worry and fear continued to grow.

Hopefully, you are only aware of such events from movies or TV shows, but we can all feel the tension and relate to these character’s predicaments.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life are you currently worried about the interest on a loan you never borrowed? Consider looking up Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping to see if these easy methods of self-soothing might help.

As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 19th Century German Writer & Statesman

Image from wordandspiritministries

What is it to live a good life?

How does one measure a life well lived?

What intrinsic and extrinsic factors are your gyroscopic guides on this great adventure?

Many people are giving more thought to this, particularly as they look in the mirror and see the aging process in effect, or pine on what they were once able to do years earlier.

Many experts, happiness gurus, and people who live “in the moment” encourage all of us to explore our emotions and feelings in order to tap into these trustworthy cornerstones of how to live.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you more fully tap into your thoughts, emotions, and feelings to assure yourself that you are indeed on the right life path?

Feelings Are Like Waves

“Feelings are much like waves. We can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.”

-Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alain Bachellier

Image from Flickr by Alain Bachellier

One of the greatest freedoms each of us has is the freedom to make choices on a daily basis. Examine your day closely. How many choices did you make intentionally, and how many by default, without thinking?

This examination along with its increased self-awareness will likely have you notice the accompanying feeling about what you are doing, and perhaps with whom you associate.

Today’s quote points us in the direction of actually choosing our perceptions, and thus our feelings, to catch only the waves we most desire.

EXERCISE:

Consider using a journal to capture your feelings as you surf through your day. How can you choose far more ideal waves that will give you the best rides of your life?

“You don’t protect your heart by…”

“You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.”

— Author unknown

Image from abc.net.au

Image from abc.net.au

In my school days, I would often hear the phrase “Big boys don’t cry,” on the playground and in school. Being tough and strong were qualities associated with being a male in our society, even at an early age.

To achieve this outward persona, many boys began building shells—even fortresses—around themselves, so they could never be hurt, and never show what many considered the ultimate shame for a man: weakness.

Although this strategy may have provided some degree of protection against life’s bumps and bruises, it also imprisoned these boys in a world of limited connection. They were often removed from daily experiences of joy, happiness, and fulfilling relationships.

EXERCISE:

Should you see that you tend to use this strategy to protect your heart, take particular note of what it may be costing you as part of the fullest experience of life.

Consider reading the work of Brene Brown in such books as Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection, to move yourself to what she refers to as a “guide to a wholehearted life.”