Thorn of Experience

“One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.”

—James Russell Lowell, 20th Century American poet, critic, and diplomat

Image from Flickr by Taro Taylor

Image from Flickr by Taro Taylor

Perhaps the single most significant reason the coaching profession has grown to over a $2 billion industry is the fact that it focuses a great degree on experiential learning. Although there is still a substantial value in telling and showing, it seems the stickiness and sustainability of the lesson comes from experiencing things firsthand, where we actually get on the field, run a few plays, and see what happens.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you include far more experiential learning opportunities to help you progress even further in your life?

“Sometimes, you just have to…”

“Sometimes, you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, and weather the storm.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

In recent weeks, I’ve met a number of people experiencing significant challenges in their professional and personal worlds. They were knocked down and kept down by death, illness, accidents, and other major life events. For some, many of these things were happening at the same time.

Those who weather the storms the best all mentioned that it was their faith, family, and friends that made these disturbing and often tragic life events bearable.

EXERCISE:

Where can you seek for yourself—or offer to others—a level of support to more successfully weather the storms of life?

“Your best teacher…”

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”

—Ralph Nader, American political activist

Image from bentleymasterminds.com

Image from bentleymasterminds.com

I’d like to alter Nader’s quote by changing the word “mistake” to “experience.”

Perhaps one of the reasons the coaching profession has grown so rapidly over the last two decades is that it takes place on the field of our lives through experiential learning.

It is our own self-awareness and self-reflection regarding the experience of our mistakes, setbacks, progress, and victories that can be our most brilliant teachers.

EXERCISE:

Take five minutes at the end of the day today to examine what worked, what didn’t, and why. What did you learn? What new and different actions will you take based on these lessons?

“Answers are closed rooms…”

“Answers are closed rooms; and questions are open doors that invite us in.”

—Nancy Willard – American novelist and poet

image from sanfranciscoaudiophilesociety.com

image from sanfranciscoaudiophilesociety.com

Much of our current educational system has focused on students getting the correct answer. How else will you earn a perfect score on tests, the ACT and SAT exams, get into a good college or university, and achieve success?  And whose definition of success is it?

A more recent form of education tends to be far more focused on inquiry and experience-based learning. In this method, powerful questions open many different doors, inviting the learner to be an integral part of the educational process.

EXERCISE:

Identify a handful of powerful questions that will engage people more fully, professionally and personally. Share them with your family, friends, and colleagues.

Consider visiting the work of Michael Bungay Stainer, and many of his professional colleagues at http://www.boxofcrayons.biz/category/best-question/. There, you will discover some engaging and provocative questions to open more doors in your life.

“A mind that is stretched by a new…”

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”

—Oliver Wendell Holmes, American physician & poet

Photo from Flickr by Moyan Brenn

Photo from Flickr by Moyan Brenn

My trip to Europe last month was definitely a mind stretcher. Relatively unaware of this region of the world, I was somewhat embarrassed by my ignorance of the languages, customs, architecture, and of course, history.

Seeing the churches, castles, cities, towns, villages, and of course the people, made me realize that I am a not-so-worldly citizen with much to learn. I also now can see that both my roots and Wendy’s were formed to a good degree through the lives of previous generations of our families, who came from Europe.

EXERCISE:

What new experiences have you had recently, or are about to experience in the next month or so? How can and will you make the most of these mind-stretching opportunities?

“Traveling: it leaves you speechless, then…”

“Traveling: it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”

—Ibn Battuta, 14th century Moroccan explorer

photo from goodreads.com

photo from goodreads.com

One of my favorite books by Dr Seuss is Oh The Places You’ll Go, often given as a gift to high school or college graduates as they step into their life journey.

For many of us, this sense of adventure and excitement wanes as we settle into our day-to-day lives, work, and other more routine responsibilities.

Perhaps this is why most of my coaching clients have travel, adventure, and fun as things they want more of as they move forward. We simply want more WOW moments that leave us speechless. When we tell these “wow” stories, they often ignite the flame in others, causing them to more fully experience life, too.

EXERCISE:

Where have you longed to travel? Find someone who has actually been there – or perhaps a few people – and let their stories ignite a spark in you. When you make your plans and go yourself, consider what stories you will share that would benefit others.

“Travel and change of place…”

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.”

-Seneca, Roman statesman & tutor to Nero

Photo from Flickr by Eelke de Blouw

Photo from Flickr by Eelke de Blouw

Traveling in Europe was a learning smorgasbord. I did all I could to taste the variety and abundance of its offerings, including:

The variety of languages multiple currencies
Jaw-dropping architecture Local customs & traditions
Music & art Great food and drink
Business & commerce Politics & religion
The natural beauty & history of the region

As an American, I was shocked at how my mental models and perceptions of the world have limited me and kept my world reasonably small. As a business and personal coach, I plan to take the blinder off, in particular with my coaching colleagues who live beyond my doorstep.

EXERCISE:
How can you more fully benefit from your own travels and change of place to experience greater vigor in your journey of the mind?

“People don’t take trips. Trips take people.”

“People don’t take trips. Trips take people.”

—John Steinbeck, American author

Photo from Flickr by EBImagery

Photo from Flickr by EBImagery

The calm riverboat cruise my wife Wendy and I took down the Danube was a trip of a lifetime, providing us lots of time to reflect on our lives. Of particular interest was how this journey took us back in time to visit the lives of people who lived hundreds and even thousands of years ago.

We were accompanied by 136 fellow passengers from around the world, who generously shared their friendship and bits of their lives with us as we toured a number of cities, sharing good food and conversation.

EXERCISE:

As you enter the summer months, how can you more fully embrace the places you visit? What can you do to look beyond the surface and experience these adventures more completely?

“Life is like a road trip…”

“Life is like a road trip. Enjoy each day, and don’t carry too much baggage.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Georg Sander

Photo from Flickr by Georg Sander

When I first met my wife Wendy almost forty years go, she would often tell me stories of her family’s famous road trips. Her mom, dad, and two sisters would spontaneously jump into their station wagon and head off to places unknown. Each passenger had their turn at directing the driver, telling them to continue on the current road, or to turn right or left.

When they got hungry, they would discover places to eat. When they got tired, they found places to rest. They often traveled with only the clothes on their backs, and little else.

EXERCISE:

How can you live today as if you were on a road trip?  What can you do to enjoy it to the max, taking little or no real or mental baggage along for the ride?

“All things come to pass.”

“All things come to pass.”

—Heraclitus, pre-Socratic Greek Philosopher

Photo from Flickr by Kpcmobile

Photo from Flickr by Kpcmobile

We’ve all heard the phrase “Nothing Lasts Forever.” This, of course, includes the good things as well as the bad. After each great storm the sun shines again, and then the clouds and storms return.

Given these facts, how might we gain power from Heraclitus’ words of wisdom? Perhaps we can choose an optimistic frame of reference to both maximize and celebrate the good in life, and also minimize the times when life brings us down.

EXERCISE:

How can you accentuate the positive and eliminate or at least minimize the negative, which will come to pass throughout your day?

Consider making the exercise above a daily practice to support you in living an even more extraordinary life.