Category Archives: Fear

Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire

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“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”

—Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code

Image from Unsplash by M.T. ElGassier

Loss aversion is rooted in prospect theory, which indicates that people fear losses twice as intensely as they value gain.

Neuron-scientific evidence shows the brain’s amygdala reacts more strongly to losses which amplify emotional discomfort. These biases drive risk-adverse behavior such as clinging to familiar routines or avoiding investments due to fear of failure.

The pursuit of dreams is fueled by intrinsic motivation and self-determination theory which emphasizes aligning actions with personal values and autonomy. Although these kinds of actions foster self-actualization and long-term fulfillment, such efforts usually require confronting loss aversion’s gravitational pull.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you overcome the primal risk-averse response of loss-aversion and be more intentional and self-aware of your intrinsic motivation to realize far more of your desires?

 

“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

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“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

—Mary Kate Teske, American multi-media artist

Image from Unsplash by Michael Dziedzic

For many of us bravery shows up as a willingness to act despite being afraid.

The connection between fear and courage can show up in a number of ways including:

  • Self-protection where bravery manifests as the courage to protect oneself from danger. This is often called “the fight or flight” response.
  • Demonstrating resilience to bounce back from setbacks, or working to reframe them as opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there despite our insecurities.
  • Using anxiety as a catalyst for action in the face of situations that frighten us — such as public speaking or when trying a new experience.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you cultivate courage as a skill by gradually facing life’s challenged with greater confidence?

When we can lay down our fear and anger and choose responses other than aggression,

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“When we can lay down our fear and anger and choose responses other than aggression, we create the conditions for bringing out the best in us humans.”

—Margaret Wheatley, American writer, speaker, and management consultant

Image from Unsplash by Ditto Bowo

To what degree are these times bringing out the worst in us as humans?

How much fear, anger, and aggression have you seen in the media and your communities over the past several months?

Consider Victor Frankl‘s statement: Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you choose to keep a cool and level head in these turbulent times?

How can you mindfully choose more appropriate responses to the hotheads around you, to bring out the best in yourself and others?

Examining our fears can help soften them

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Examining our fears can help soften them. Taking action can eliminate them.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Photo Boards

What is your relationship with fear?

How often do you experience it?

What are some examples where you’ve been paralyzed by its grip?

Consider times when you faced these roadblocks and acted anyway.

How did you soften or eliminate some of these barriers through thoughtful examination and courageous effort?

EXERCISE:

What’s possible for your life on the other side of your fears?

How could you examine them more closely to see that many are only offering False Evidence that Appears Real (FEAR)?

As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life

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“As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life, we must move with courage through the wall of flame into the greater sea.”

Mark Nepo, poet and spiritual adviser

Image from Unsplash by dan carlson

Where and when in your life did you last demonstrate significant courage? What are some examples of facing your fears and jumping into an unsettled sea?

Today’s quote does not suggest we risk life and limb as proof of courage, but does  suggest that we should welcome the heat, and test the waters of our days more often.

What are some current situations in which you are experiencing the flames of fears?

When in the past did you step through such flames, standing taller on the other side?

EXERCISE:

To what degree is your current level of courage putting you on a course to fulfill the vision you have for your life?

When can and will you step up and over the edge of your fears to realize far more of your potential?

 

Our minds put limits on what we can and will do

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Our minds put limits on what we can and will do. Acknowledge these inner voices and do these things anyway.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Nadine Shaabana

A colleague once told me that in almost all situations what stops us in life is stopping.

Before our bodies stop moving, however, comes a warning message from our brain. It warns us to stop for various reasons that can often be refuted upon a more objective review.

When was the last time your mind told you to slam on the brakes?

How valid were your reasons for stopping?

What was gained—or perhaps more importantly—what was lost by not proceeding in your efforts?

EXERCISE:

Where has F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) stopped you recently?

How can you courageously override some of these signals and give things a go when life and limb aren’t on the line?

Friday Review: Fear

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Friday Review: Fear

How often do you let fear stop you from achieving your goal? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

 

 

 

“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

 

 

 

“Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”

 

 

 

 

We can choose to be courageous whether we are ready or not

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We can choose to be courageous whether we are ready or not.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Freeclassicimages.com

Today’s thought reminds me of Hugh Laurie’s quote, “There is no such thing as ready. There is only now.”

How much of the time do you find yourself in a state of preparation before you shoot, ship, or act? When we wait to actually feel ready and 100% confident on our success, we are probably too late.

We recently saw and enjoyed the new Elvis movie. I was surprised to learn about how nervous and fearful Elvis was before getting on stage to shake things up in his unique and controversial style.

EXERCISE:

In what parts of your life are you waiting to be ready?

Where is it time to shake things up?

How would choosing to be more courageous help you realize more of your full potential?

It may be Now or Never.

“Both faith and fear may sail into your harbor. But allow only faith to drop anchor.”

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“Both faith and fear may sail into your harbor. But allow only faith to drop anchor.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Wheeler

When was the last time you went boating?

What is it like to watch the comings and goings of vessels as they enter and leave their assigned marina slips?

What is a typical speed during these maneuvers? What happens to the boats and the passengers when someone exceeds the limit?

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you experiencing the wake and excessive wave action of fear in your life and in your communities?

Where would the slow, stabilizing attribute of greater faith calm the seas of this world and make for safer harbors?