Some Cause Happiness

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

—Oscar Wilde, 19th Century Irish Playwright and Poet

Image of two women smiling

Image from Flickr by Christopher Connell

Who would you want to be with if you were stuck in an elevator for an hour or longer?

What one person would you want to be with if you were stranded on a deserted island?

If someone calls you at home just as you head to bed for the night, who would you most want that caller to be?

EXERCISE:

Examine the qualities and characteristics of the people you identified. How does your happiness index improve by the thought of their company?

What work may be needed on your part to have others put you on their list of special people?

The Art of Happiness

“Happiness is not an accident, it’s an art. You don’t hope for happiness, you plan for happiness. You have to weave happiness like a tapestry.”

—Jim Rohn, American Motivational Author

Image of tapestry on a loom

Image from Flickr by monnibo

My wife Wendy is very creative. She heads several women’s groups focused on crafts, including many forms of needlework.

I admire the time and attention to detail these patient women put into their art, as they literally weave pieces of themselves into their work.

Imagine your life as a quilt, with a wide variety of fabrics that you have worn along your journey. Make sure to capture all of the stand-out, deeply felt memories that have brought you great happiness along the way.

EXERCISE:

Begin today adding more happy experiences to your existing quilt, or start planning what new and beautiful pieces of art you intend to create moving forward.

your share of happiness

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”

—William Feather, 20th Century American Writer and Publisher

Image of the words "Slow Down" Happiness Post

Image from Flickr by Marie-Chantal Turgeon

Take a few minutes to observe the pace of life around you. Many people describe their days as busy, hectic, stressful, maybe even chaotic.

In many ways our fast-paced, multi-tasking world makes us very productive. Yet, we are often so driven we miss the stop signs that can help us fully appreciate and enjoy the moments.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you slow down your pace of life to more fully enjoy it, and experience your share of happiness?

“One must dare to be happy”

“One must dare to be happy.”

-Gertrude Stein, American novelist, poet, and playwright

Image from Flickr by Blondinrikard Froberg

Image from Flickr by Blondinrikard Froberg

If I double-dared you, would you be doubly happy? The relationship between risk and reward is a topic of interest to many. Stories abound in the media, especially when you examine people who have achieved great wealth or who have lost everything—sometimes repeatedly.

But what about happiness? How does an orientation to risk-taking correlate to moving the needle on the happy meter? This idea fits perfectly with the concept of coaching, in which an individual acknowledges a personal or professional future they wish to realize.

To do so, however, requires taking the risk of leaving their current, often safe and secure realities for some more desired vision they see for themselves. Not to do so is considered by many the biggest reason for a life of regret, which no one would desire.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways could you take a more daring approach to your days, to lead a more interesting, exciting, and happier life?

Consider picking up a copy of Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar to examine other ideas to pursue greater happiness.

Life is Very Short

“Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.”

—John Lennon, co-founder of the Beatles

Image from storypic.com

Image from storypic.com

I am currently coaching an attorney who wishes to make a career transition to something far more in line with his vision and values. Ask him about what he finds distasteful about his current career and his response is clear: he does not enjoy all the fussing and fighting.

Examine your professional and personal worlds to determine just how much of your time you and others spend fussing and fighting. If the amount is unacceptable, examine the cost to your health, happiness, and overall life satisfaction.

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to neither initiate nor participate in fussing and fighting?  Lennon’s coaching and life is for all of us to appreciate and be reminded of just how short and precious a life can be.

The Foolish Man

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.”

-James Oppenheim, American poet, novelist, and editor

QC #914

I am currently reading The Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama. His teaching indicates that the purpose of life is to be happy.

Foolishly, many people pursue their happiness through extrinsic factors. Although many of these pursuits can result in pleasurable moments, rarely do they produce enduring or sustainable happiness. Wise people, on the other hand, have learned over the years that intrinsic factors much closer to home are the source of a meaningful and more enduring form of happiness.

EXERCISE:

How can you increase your own personal happiness by embracing more factors that lie right under your feet, and far fewer in the distance?

Changing Us

“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

A topic that comes up fairly frequently in my coaching sessions these days is aging. As someone in the middle of the Baby Boom Generation, I see that most of my contemporaries are also experiencing the “grayification” of our society. We’re dealing with aging parents and our own health and fitness related issues.

Despite all of our best efforts to eat better, exercise more, and get much-needed rest to renew and recharge, we are heading toward an entropy of life, where things begin to break down and stop working optimally.

There happens to be a new form of coaching called “Eldering.” One of its tenets is to assist people in navigating these years with more grace, dignity, and life mastery.

EXERCISE:

How can you adjust, adapt, or change yourself in relationship to those issues and situations that are unchangeable, to more fully experience a life of greater happiness and fulfillment?

“True Happiness is…”

“True Happiness is enjoying the scenery while on a detour.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.culpwrit.com

Image from www.culpwrit.com

Over the spring and summer months, road construction in Michigan increases dramatically. Many people joke that we only have two seasons in Michigan—winter, and construction.

Unfortunately, the “happiness level” of many people drops considerably when the orange barrels and detour signs appear. These and other life detours—the things that differ from our intentions and expectations—will always be part of our lives. Today’s quote coaches us to make the most of them rather than resisting them.

EXERCISE:

How can you shift your perspective on the detours in your life, to claim a far greater helping of happiness each and every day?

“It is good to have an end to journey toward…”

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

—Ernest Hemingway, American author and journalist

QC #789

Photo from Flickr by Jonty

If you examine the statistics related to life satisfaction and happiness, you will discover a fundamental trend. Those who are satisfied and happy consistently engage in their own life journey with a strong sense of meaning and purpose.

Far too many people lack this drive as they begin the day. They often wish parts of their lives away as they look forward to a weekend, or a vacation. In some cases, they look forward to retiring from what they experience as a dead-end job.

EXERCISE:

How can you be more of a map-maker and explorer in your professional and personal life, in order to make each day a fulfilling and satisfying journey?

“Even Socrates, who lived a very …”

“Even Socrates, who lived a very frugal and simple life, loved to go to the market. When his students asked about this, he replied, ‘I love to go and see all the things I am happy without.’”

— Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

Photo from Flickr by Carlos Blanco

Photo from Flickr by Carlos Blanco

Nearly three years ago I began writing the Quotable Coach series. Six hundred and eighty-three posts later, I recall one of the very first quotes I selected: “The Best Things in Life are not Things.”

Consider exploring the nugget of wisdom by Jack Kornfield to examine the happiness Socrates found from leading a simple life.

EXERCISE:

What are your current sources of happiness? How might traveling lighter and living without some things make you even happier in the year ahead?