Category Archives: Listening

“You should not decide until you have heard what both sides have to say.”

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“You should not decide until you have heard what both sides have to say.”

—Aristophanes, 4th Century BC Greek Playwright

Image from Unsplash by Ehimetalor Unuabono

Do you ever say — aloud or perhaps even more often to yourself — “My mind is made up” or “I know!”? How often do you get the impression that others in your personal or professional communities express similar thoughts?

If these scenarios sound familiar, you are probably dealing with what I call “Shortcut Listening.” This happens when an individual or group gathers just enough information to fill in the rest of the word puzzles based on their own opinions, experiences, and biases.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would taking the long road of listening help you and others make far better decisions at work and at home?

Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming

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“Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming.”

—David Bowie, late British singer, actor, and songwriter

Image of a fox

Image from Unsplash by Kyle Glenn

In the animal kingdom the ability to hear is critical to survival regardless of whether you are predator or prey. The other senses definitely have their role in making sure they get to experience another day, or even the next moment.

What are the ways you currently sense what is just around the corner or perhaps far off in the distance? Consider this question for both personal and professional matters that are urgent and important to not only surviving, but thriving.

EXERCISE:

How might applying a herd mentality – where you are just one of many sets of eyes, ears, and noses – broaden your capacity to sense and react more quickly and more proactively?

Consider reaching out to family, friends, teachers, mentors, and coaches in your current communities to have many more better tomorrows.

Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf

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“Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.”

—Cree Nation Proverb

Image of a man's profile, with the sunset behind him

Image from Unsplash by Ashton Bingham

How many ways are there to take in information about the world? Probably first on your list would be the capacity to hear. Take a minute to examine all your other senses to notice how they allow you to fully take in what is happening around you.

Considerable research has been done to demonstrate enhanced perception of the other senses when working without the capacity to hear.

Many of us experience a form of temporary deafness throughout our day in both our personal and professional communities. The act of speaking, and perhaps talking too often or too much, actually diminishes our capacity to hear and fully listen to the ideas and contributions of others.

Consider another wise saying: When you’re doing all the talking you’re not learning anything. (Amy Castro, Performance Communication expert)

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would a quiet tongue and a far more open set of ears provide the greatest benefit?

Consider sharing this intention to listen more full with at least one key person in your life.

It’s better to bite your tongue than to eat your words

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“It’s better to bite your tongue than to eat your words.”

—Frank Sonnenberg, business expert and author

Image created in Canva

An important aspect of the coaching process is to significantly increase the self awareness and mindfulness capacities of our clients. With this in mind, listening and paying attention to our inner voices and words before they are put out into the world seems to be wise counsel.

Consider just how much negativity, judgement, and criticism you hear throughout your days. How much do you find yourself contributing to this in your personal or professional communities?

EXERCISE:

Where would biting your tongue and taking an “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” approach prevent you from eating your words?

Try using the acronym W.A.I.T.: Why. Am. I. Talking. – as a technique to keep your negative inner voice on mute more often.

Stillness is where Creativity and Solutions to Problems are Found

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“Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found.”

—Echart Tolle, Author of A New Earth

Image of a pair of headphones

Image from Unsplash by Lee Campbell

One of my favorite books is Seven Thousand Ways to Listen by Mark Nepo. How many ways can you think of to listen? The point to Nepo’s title is perhaps what Deepak Chopra describes as “Living the Questions of Life” and their ability to move you into the sacred answers of your authentic self.

With this in mind, the practice of being still, quiet, and more patient with life seems to be solid strategy to letting creativity blossom, and to let the answers to life’s questions and problems reveal themselves.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you bring greater stillness into your world? How could this boost your creative efforts? How could it solve a few of those pesky problems that present themselves as you rush through your day?

It is greed to do all the talking

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“It is greed to do all the talking but not to want to listen at all.”

—Democritus of Abdera, Ancient Greek pre-Socratic philosopher

Cartoon of a Vampire

Image from Canva

Vampires really do exist.

Consider the individuals in your life who talk incessantly and rarely take a breath to allow others to express themselves.

In such situations, many people experience a draining feeling as if much of their energy was stolen.

Who are some of the greedy energy vampires in your world? Who among your family, friends, and colleagues, might place you on their list?

EXERCISE:

Where would far more generous listening and far less greedy talking make the biggest difference in your world? What action can and will you take today to make this possibility a reality?

The Way You Listen to Me

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“The way you listen to me impacts my power to speak to you.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a man holding his hand to his ear

Image from ABC

A phrase often used in organizations with coaching cultures is “Coaching occurs in the listening.”

Perhaps no other factor makes a greater difference to the success of a coaching relationship than an open and receptive “Try It On” response to the questions and input from those supporting their efforts.

A closed mind and an “I Know” way of listening is like kryptonite to Superman. It saps the power from the parent, mentor, or coach. 

A request for coaching, before and through all stages of these special relationships, is essential to the achievement of the gold medal results both parties desire.

EXERCISE:

How can you assure the highest levels of listening and coach-ability to realize maximum power and contribution from those committed to your success?

Friday Review Listening

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FRIDAY REVIEW: LISTENING

How well do you listen to yourself and others? Here are a few listening-related posts you may have missed.

 

“If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.”

 

 

 

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

 

 

 

“You can’t judge my choices without understanding my reasons.”

 

 

 

 

Talkers are no good doers

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“Talkers are no good doers.”

—William Shakespeare, Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3

Image of Shakespeare with the quote

Shakespeare sure had a way with words!

I had to re-read today’s quote several times, letting it percolate for a while before I chose it for today’s post.

What was your first interpretation?

What other meanings might it have for you?

I first thought about an individual being all talk and no action. Next, I considered whether talkers, or those too busy being interesting to be interested, were bad people, arrogant, with excessive egos.

What is the message you prefer, or relate to the most?

EXERCISE:

What are your views on people who talk far more than they listen?

What would others say about your propensity to talk versus listen?

What relationship does this issue have with what actually gets done, and what you learn?

Feel free to respond to this post with your thoughts and perspectives.

The Soul’s Ears

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“The soul has been given its own ears to hear things the mind does not understand.”

-Rumi, 13th Century Persian Poet

Image from changebydoing.com

Image from changebydoing.com

Imagine you are able to visit a planet on the other side of the Milky Way, or perhaps in an entirely different galaxy, that has intelligent life.

Upon landing on this planet—which contains all that you need to support life—you meet an unusual human-like creature with three sets of ears.

The first set is like ours, which conveys messages to our brains.

The second set is connected to the being’s heart, and the third to their gut.

Considered the expanded nature of this creature’s ability to perceive their worlds deeply, and more completely.

What extraordinary messages would they receive, and what capacities would this ability provide?

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully access your soul by tapping into the quiet or silent messages that can only be perceived through your heart and gut?