Category Archives: Relationships

“Innovation happens not within but between brains.”

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“Innovation happens not within but between brains.”

—Matt Ridley, British science writer, journalist and businessman

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Cagle

Today’s quote encapsulates Ridley’s views on collective intelligence and the collaborative nature of innovation. It emphasizes that innovation is not primarily the result of individual genius, but rather a product of human interaction and the exchange of ideas.

How often do you find yourself working alone, wracking your brain to solve a particular problem?

How frequently do you feel that if you seek or accept assistance from others your achievements are less worthy of recognition?

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you tap into many more brains within your personal and professional communities to accomplish far more than going it alone?  Remember that even the Lone Ranger had Tonto!

Some people are worth melting for

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“Some people are worth melting for.”

—Olaf, in the film Frozen

Image from Unsplash by Miriam Gilles

Here in the Northeastern United States there is always the potential for a bit or bunch of the white stuff as we enter the winter months.

If you happen to enjoy holiday movies you may have seen one of my family’s favorites: Frosty the Snowman. There is a particular scene where Frosty shows his wiliness to melt. He enters a greenhouse to save his friend Karen from freezing, to demonstrate his love and his willingness to sacrifice everything for her.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life worth melting for? How does realizing the importance of these people give your life greater meaning and purpose?

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

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“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

—Audrey Hepburn, 20th Century British Actress

Image from Unsplash by Susan G. Kamen 3-day

In the wake of October’s hurricanes, many people have lost everything — including loved ones.

When some of these individuals are interviewed about the devastation many still remain positive and grateful
to be alive and get right to work helping their neighbors and others in their communities.

Although these forces of nature can sweep away and destroy many things, it’s heartwarming to realize that the best things in life are not things.

EXERCISE:

How do you demonstrate to your loved ones that they are the most precious gifts in your life?

Take a plunge into your senses

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Take a plunge into your senses. Note what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting, and hearing. What is the present moment offering you to experience more fully?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Burden

Autumn is a perfect time to plunge into your senses. It’s not too hot or too cold to get outside and appreciate mother nature in all her glory.

Consider taking a walk outside at different times of the day from before dawn to after dusk to experience all the sights, sounds, and sensations available.

Be sure to leave your phone at home and consider traveling alone at a leisurely pace to take in and savor all the wonders many of us often rush past.

Make a few stops along your way to turn around and look up and down so as to not miss out on the show the world is always offering.

EXERCISE:

Share your adventure with someone close to you and consider taking them along on your next sensory outing to offer them a taste of the gift you just received!

Notice and embrace the complexity of your humanness

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Notice and embrace the complexity of your humanness. Let everything be as it is. It makes you interesting.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Joseph Malone

How often do you find yourself puzzled by the people in your life? Look over the spectrum of folks from young to old in your communities.

What makes each of them tick? Isn’t it interesting — once we think we know — when they surprise us by going in another direction?

Instead of trying to put these people puzzles together and have things fit into our own world view, perhaps we can simply be happy to have others in our life to keep us on our toes.

EXERCISE:

To what degree do you accept and embrace the complexities of the people around you?

How would doing so with curiosity and openness make the world a far more interesting place for everyone?

Relationship are all there is

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“Relationship are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else.”

—Margaret Wheatley, American writer, teacher, speaker, and management consultant

Image from Unsplash by Greg Rakozy

Margaret Wheatley’s work focuses on creating organizations and communities “worthy of human habitation” by drawing from various disciplines including organizational behavior, chaos theory, living systems science, and ancient spiritual traditions.

In recent years, she has been discussing civilization collapse and encouraging people to become “spiritual warriors” in response to current challenges.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you become a spiritual warrior along with Margaret Wheatley, to foster healthier and happier relationships in your various communities?

Let go of the need to be understood by everyone

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Let go of the need to be understood by everyone. Who are the people that really matter? How can you express your thoughts and feelings even better to enhance these relationships?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

With the advent of social media, many people have shifted to quantity instead of quality in their relationships.

More likes, friends, and followers appear to be how some folks keep score.

I like the idea of digging one well 1,000 feet deep to tap into the aquifers of life instead of digging 1,000 wells one foot deep and coming up dry.

EXERCISE:

Building relationships takes time. Where and with whom are you taking the time to unearth the deep and meaningful relationships you most desire?

Attending to and amplifying our senses in the moment

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Attending to and amplifying our senses in the moment helps us capture and keep our memories.

—Calm App Reflection

Barry with his Son-in-law and grandkids

During our Father’s Day holiday, we were fortunate to celebrate with beautiful weather and time swimming with family.  After sunscreen is applied, it’s the wet stuff until Mother Nature calls!

Following these quick breaks and a fast bite, it’s right back into the pool to dive for colorful plastic rings, float on tubes, and some chicken, star, rocket practice for our 2 ½ year old granddaughter.

As the day wound down, my grandchildren were given a gift from their older cousins. Inside a hatbox sized container were a variety of superhero capes and masks that they were clearly too old for, at the ages of 10 and 11.

In minutes both kids — and some of us older kids — were playfully dancing together to make a memory we’ll never forget.

EXERCISE:

Where and when were you last fully tuned into your senses?

How did this amplification of the moment help you capture this never to be forgotten event?

The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you

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“The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you.  To be interesting, be interested.”

—Kevin Kelly, Author of Improvised Life

Image from Unsplash by Towfiqu barbhuiya

How do you demonstrate your sincere interest in others? A quick and easy coaching technique is to master your use of open-ended questions.

Placing the words who, what, where, when, why, or how at the beginning of these questions works magic because they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.

To go a bit deeper and discover more about these people, layer with another open-ended question by using a piece of their initial answer. Doing so shows that that we are listening, and honor their views and perspectives.

Beneath these two approaches is the fact that you are showing genuine interest in their favorite subject, which for virtually all of us is ourselves.

EXERCISE:

If you are interested in more tools to enhance your relationship skills, please email barry@dempcoaching.com with the subject Communication Tools/ Masterful Relationships

 

Explore your trustworthiness

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Explore your trustworthiness. From there look for this and other similar qualities in yourself and others.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by KVST

They say Birds of a Feather Flock Together. What kind of bird are you? Create a list of different birds and see what qualities come to mind when you personify their attributes.

Here is a short list to get you started:

  • An eagle
  • A flamingo
  • A penguin
  • An owl
  • A seagull
  • A swallow

EXERCISE:

What bird(s) best personify you?

What qualities do they represent, and how have you applied those qualities to attract others into your flock or tribe?