Some People Cross Your Path

Posted on March 14, 2016 by Barry

“Some people cross your path and change your whole direction.”

-Author Unknown

Image from timemachine.wikia.com

Those who have been following The Quotable Coach for some time already have a mental “time machine,” and have taken various trips into the past and future. If you have not yet built your imaginary time machine, take a moment to do so now.

Today’s trip takes you back in time to visit the friends, family, teachers, mentors, and coaches who have made a positive and lasting difference in your life.

Examine the way in which they were “there for you,” guiding, supporting, and even providing tough love to help you discover and pursue your destiny.

EXERCISE:

Should any of these people still be around, find a way to acknowledge and thank them for the difference they made in your life.

Where can you play a similar role to support a special person in your personal or professional world?

Talk About Things that Matter

Posted on March 10, 2016 by Barry

“Talk about things that matter to people who care.”

-Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker

Image from Flickr by sepblog

The nugget of wisdom in today’s quote highlights two of the most significant elements of success.

By focusing on more things that truly matter, we prioritize the important over seemingly urgent issues we encounter throughout the day.

Caring, supportive people provide needed ongoing counsel and occasional kicks in the butt. Their encouragement causes us to stretch and engage in the hard work needed to pursue and realize the goals and objectives that matter.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life who care deeply about your success? How can you focus more of your interactions on the stuff of life that really matters?

Hearts and Business

Posted on March 8, 2016 by Barry

“It is a rare person who can take care of hearts while also taking care of business.”

-Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Dakota

There is a good amount of evidence proving that taking care of hearts is an excellent strategy for business success.

Examine the literature or perhaps the “Best Places to Work” articles in your local papers, to find the superstar companies that prove this point.

The best and most inspiring organizational mission statements point to the values, beliefs, and attitudes they bring to their key stakeholders. These statements always go beyond shareholder value to include their commitments to customers, and of course, the employees and/or team members.

EXERCISE:

How can you better take care of business by creating and supporting an atmosphere in which people are truly the most valuable asset?

The Good Old Days

Posted on March 7, 2016 by Barry

“Things aren’t what they used to be and probably never were.”

-Will Rogers, American cowboy, vaudeville performer, and film actor

Image from notonthehighstreet.com

It is not uncommon for people to romanticize the good old days. Just take a look at the photo albums, yearbooks, and memory banks from which we cherry-pick the choice moments when all was right with the world.

We all share the experience of “selective memory,” in which we remember some things quite vividly, and others not at all. Take a look at the stories you continue to tell – often to the chagrin of your significant others – when you’re out on the town!

EXERCISE:

How can you make the very most of your life from this point forward, by living by the idea that these are the good old days, and the best is still to come?

You Have to Squint

Posted on February 24, 2016 by Barry

“See the good all around you even if you have to squint.”

-Author Unknown

Image from lasikmd.com

If you are like me, your eyesight is not what it used to be. Perhaps you need glasses to drive at night, or to read. You may even need longer arms as you “trombone” food labels in order to read the ingredient list.

Having 20/20 vision has great benefits, but when we look at the world, including the folks in our lives that are taking this journey with us, it may not always serve us to have clear and complete objectivity. As an example, as we look at the weaknesses and faults in others, we know full well we have our own share.

EXERCISE:

Where would a bit of squinting help you overlook some of the unimportant things around you, and help you see a lot more good available in your world?

Love the Giver

Posted on February 11, 2016 by Barry

“Love the giver more than the gift.”

-Brigham Young, founder of the Latter Day Saints

Years ago, I read The Five Love Languages to enhance my relationship with my wife Wendy. I still recommend this book to coaching clients who wish a better understanding of their partners. The gist is that there are different ways to show love. We almost always choose to show love in the way we like to receive it.

By tuning into the offerings of others, we can embrace their gifts in the way they are intended, instead of missing the message because we are not speaking the same love language.

EXERCISE:

How could you fully love the givers in your life by embracing every gift they have to offer, in the love language that fits them?

Relationship over Ego

Posted on February 9, 2016 by Barry

“Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong, and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.bizjournals.com

I distinctly remember my first argument with my wife Wendy, during our first year of marriage. Our dispute centered on how to wash dishes. The bottom line for me, at the time, was that she was clearly doing it wrong. I had evidence to make my case to anyone who took a logical approach to things.

To make a long story short, I slept (or should I say didn’t sleep?) on the couch that night.

In the morning, Wendy shared a nugget of wisdom that I still remember and use today:

“Are you more committed to being right, or being related?”

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways are you making those you care about wrong? Where would an apology demonstrate that you value your relationship more than your ego?

How We Rise

Posted on February 3, 2016 by Barry

“We rise by lifting others.”

—Robert Ingersoll, 19th Century American Orator

Image from joinabrightfuture.com

As part of my Personal Excellence Training program, each of my clients works on the key skill of increasing their relationship mastery. Without question, progress in this area has enormous benefits, producing qualitative and quantifiable results.

Some of the communication tools are:

Taking a sincere and full interest in what others think and believe
Listening with your full attention and honoring the value others have to offer
Limiting our desire to speak and respond too quickly so that the other person can fully express themselves
Being open and receptive to the views and contributions of others

EXERCISE:

How can you use the techniques listed here, and those you know well, to lift other people up in your personal and professional worlds? What benefit would you gain in doing so?

Make a New Decision

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Barry

“Help someone make a new decision, based on new alternatives, and a new story.”

-Seth Godin, American author & entrepreneur

Image from sethgodin.com

One of the few bloggers I read each day without fail is Seth Godin. He has been consistently blogging for over two decades, and has one of the highest readerships worldwide. Beyond his amazing dependability are his thought-provoking and brilliant perspectives on many ordinary things about life, success, and making a difference. Take a bit of coaching and check out his work at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/.

Today’s quote is perfect for this time of year, as we all resolve to be a better version of ourselves. Godin suggests that when we take on the role of coach, mentor, or advisor to others, we help them make new, powerful value-based decisions that come from the story they wish to tell next year at this time.

One wonderful by-product of playing this role for others is that it is almost impossible to not reap extraordinary benefits in your own life. Givers Gain.

EXERCISE:

Select at least one person from your personal and professional worlds to coach, mentor, or advice regarding their decision and the new stories they wish to tell next year.

If Criticism is Needed

Posted on December 16, 2015 by Barry

“If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don’t use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.”

-Ann Landers, Advice Columnist

image from www.blogging4jobs.com

Providing constructive feedback is the cornerstone of a healthy and productive coaching relationship. Criticism, or the more common term, “constructive criticism” can often have less than desirable and even destructive consequences.

A critical determinant to providing effective and optimal feedback is a trusting relationship in which both parties are focused and committed to the same objective.

EXERCISE:

How would a more tactful coaching approach be used in your world, to provide the valuable feedback you desire in supporting those around you toward enhanced performance and productivity?