Leading the Pack

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Barry

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.fanpop.com

Today’s quote makes me think of the times my clients state that a colleague, coworker, or client “threw them under the bus.” In almost all cases, they say it was in an unfair, unjust, and detrimental way.

Blaming, bullying, one-upmanship, and office politics are common occurrences. How we respond to such attacks, and how we rise above their potential negative impacts is a skill which we could all benefit from time to time.

EXERCISE:

A book that I have read numerous times over the years – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – points to fundamental ideas that can help us all return, leading the pack, when we are thrown to the wolves. They are:

Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best

“Be brave enough…”

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Barry

“Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.”

—Author Unknown

QC #889

One of my favorite and most recommended books on effective communications is titled “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott.

The word “fierce” can be defined as robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled – all of which point to the impact the conversation can make if held with positive intent and mastery.

The problem on many occasions is that most of us avoid such conversations due to the fear that often accompanies high-stakes situations.

EXERCISE:

Where is it necessary in either your personal or professional life to summon the courage to have more fierce conversations?

Consider reading and studying Scott’s book to tackle tough challenges, tap into your deep aspirations, and enrich the relationships that matter most in your life.

“Life always offers you…”

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Barry

“Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called ‘tomorrow.’”

-Author Unknown

image from xoombi.com

I’d like you to consider reading today’s quote twice.

Consider for the moment that today is one of the most important days of your life. Everyone important to you watches intently as you give it your all. If you are also a spiritual or faith-based person, know that your “higher power” is paying close attention as well.

Fast forward to the end of the day. Review the quote again and reflect on how you lived your day and the difference you made. Answer the question in today’s exercise before you head off to sleep.

EXERCISE:

What second-chance efforts will I make tomorrow, based on what I discovered and learned today?

“I thank you for your…”

Posted on October 22, 2015 by Barry

“I thank you for your part in my journey.”

-Author Unknown

Image from xoombi.com

The words “Thank You” are magical. They have brought more joy, happiness, satisfaction, and smiles to the world than most of us can imagine. In my youth, our parents, teachers, and community influencers taught us to say “please” and “thank you.”

Over the last decade or so, I’ve noticed these daily courtesies diminishing – perhaps due to the increasing pace of life. Many of us are increasingly overwhelmed by the demands and stresses to keep up or stay ahead. We often rationalize that we simply “don’t have the time.”

EXERCISE:

What is the cost to you and those around you when we don’t offer and receive quite as many “thank you’s” throughout the day as we used to?

What benefit would you see if you made it your job today to offer your most heartfelt “thank you’s” and gratitude to those who have helped you on your journey?

“As I unclutter my life, I free…”

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Barry

“As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul.”

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

Image from Flickr by Megan McMillan

We are entering fall here in Michigan; winter will soon arrive. With the change of season, many people begin spending a bit more time indoors due to the reduction of daylight and, of course, the colder temperatures.

Some people experience lower energy, reduced motivation, and a general hunkering-down at this time, awaiting the next spring. A possible remedy for such feelings and renewal of the soul could be, as Dr. Dyer suggests, an “uncluttering” project.

EXERCISE:

Examine some of the areas of your life that could benefit from considerable uncluttering and simplification. Consider your physical space, your personal and professional relationships, your use of technology, and even cognitive noise that affects us all.

What inside work will you do to better aid you in pursuing the inner calling of your soul?

“Be a voice, not an echo.”

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Barry

“Be a voice, not an echo.”

-attributed to Albert Einstein

Image from Flickr by Shawn Harquail

For many years I have been a fan of TED talks. The subtitle for these 15-20 minute presentations is “Ideas Worth Spreading.” In recent years, this format has expanded worldwide through the TEDx format. Most major cities have held numerous conferences where local leaders and influencers give voice to their best ideas.

In a world of social media and sound bites, many of us often find ourselves reposting and retweeting, echoing ideas from others that certainly inform and entertain.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you better capture your voice and share your best ideas with others in your professional and personal communities?

If you were asked to give your own TED talk, what topic would you choose?

“When you are a parent…”

Posted on October 14, 2015 by Barry

“When you are a parent, it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a ‘mini-me,’ but a spirit throbbing with its own signature.”

-Dr. Shefali Tsabary, keynote speaker and author

Photo from Flickr by Aaron Brinker

I love the idea of all parents having masterful coaching skills to support the growth and development of their children. The primary reason for this opinion is the fact that coaching is primarily an inside-out approach, which is often far more desirable and effective than an outside-in approach.

I’ve found through my own parenting efforts that both my children appreciated and flourished in their development when they had input and some influence on their lives. In other words, people – including young people – are more likely to participate in that which they help create.

EXERCISE:

How can you use a coaching approach in your parenting efforts to bring out the unique signatures of your children? If you are not a parent, how can you use an inside-out coaching approach to support others in your personal or professional worlds?

“A good deed brightens…”

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Barry

“A good deed brightens a dark world.”

—Author Unknown

Image from fridaylight.org

Imagine you are standing in a pitch-black room in which you cannot see your hand in front of your face.

A person enters the room with a lit candle. You can now see your hand, and of course, the smiling face of your visitor. Soon a second, third, and fourth individual join you, each bringing their own candle to further illuminate your room.

Many times, when we look at our lives, the lives of others, and the world in general, things can appear dark and foreboding. We might not even see a light at the end of the tunnel.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom can you offer your own good deeds to brighten up the world of those around you? Please note how often this process brightens your own world as well!
Imagine the brightness and illumination if everyone focused on doing this more, each and every day.

“Our fingerprints don’t fade from…”

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Barry

“Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we’ve touched.”

—Will Fetters, American Screenwriter

Image from lynnemosher.com

I’ve been fortunate over the years to build a coaching practice in which I often see clients in person in my office. Sessions are held at a special round table covered with glass. By the end of the day, the glass is often covered with fingerprints, along with a few crumbs if we happen to meet over lunch.

Perhaps the most profound reason the profession of coaching has grown so significantly over the years is the stickiness and sustainability attributed to these special, collaborative relationships.

EXERCISE:

Where can you make an enduring and lasting impact in the lives of others? Who are the people who have made an enduring and lasting impact on your life? How can you continue to positively build on these “life fingerprints” and only bring out the “glass cleaner” to remove the smudges that sometimes come your way?

“If the world is cold, make it…”

Posted on September 30, 2015 by Barry

“If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.”

—Horace Traubel, 20th Century American Essayist

Image from www.offthegridnews.com

The life blood of any business is satisfied customers who are attracted to you as well as your products or services.

The goal of business development or outreach efforts is to convert the unaware or “cold” prospect to a hot prospect, and to eventually consummate a win-win agreement. In our frenetic, over-communicative world, this is often easier said than done.

One strategy I found that will definitely warm things up for you is to create a discovery process that intentionally seeks to establish the fit and value of a future agreement.

EXERCISE:

Create an assessment that specifically identifies the best candidates for your product or service. Create another assessment that helps people determine the value and areas of impact of your product or service.

Feel free to examine the Assessment Section of my website to see how I help prospects determine the fit and value of working together. Consider adapting these resources to support your own efforts.