Category Archives: Relationships

To experience the “Givers Glow” and the “Helpers Halo,” offer

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To experience the “Givers Glow” and the “Helpers Halo,” offer your acts of service and support in direct and specific ways.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Maria Ziegler

A close friend of ours was recently hospitalized. We live in the same building and after her first call to 911, she called us.

As part of our mutual friendship, we exchange keys to one another’s condos to let ourselves in and support one another when there is a need.

In addition to our visits to the hospital, daily check ins, and making a few of her favorite foods when she got home, she kept recounting that getting to her so quickly was the key to knowing she was going to be OK.

EXERCISE:

What direct and specific acts of support and service are the keys to open the doors of your most important relationships?

It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers

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“It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers slowly over time by doing what’s right.”

—Charlie Munger, late American businessman and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by krakenimages

In the early years of my coaching career most of my time was spent networking and pursuing various business development activities.

Back then the world saw coaching as an activity only related to sports. The idea of a business or life coach seemed weird and a bit too far out to be widely accepted.

To capture my efforts, I used a customer relationship management software called ACT and LinkedIn to keep track of things.

In numerous cases it took years of steady and consistent effort and doing things right to build the necessary trust to eventually establish the partnerships to move forward.

EXERCISE:

What is an example of a relationship you created over time that was built on integrity and doing things right?

Please  email me at barry@dempcoaching.com if you would like copies of my Masterful Networking and Masterful Relationships workbooks.

“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

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“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

—Jon Gordon, American author and speaker

Barry (Many Years Ago)

 

Who hasn’t heard the phrase Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If our lives are a reflection of the five people with whom we spend the most time, this idea is worth a bit more pondering for us married folk.

Wendy and I are coming up on our 45th anniversary. Like most marriages that stand the test of time, we’ve been through a lot.

if you were to look at our wedding album you would see me with a full head of hair! If you knew us well, you might also note that none of the other couples in our wedding party are still together.

Living our vows and prioritizing each other on a daily basis keeps our relationship solid.

Being each other’s “person” is a key to all the smiles that create the happy wrinkles that come along for the ride.

EXERCISE:

Where and how often do you make your significant other your top priority?

What can you do today to demonstrate your love and live happily ever after?

It is through collaboration not competition that we survive and thrive. We are better together.

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It is through collaboration not competition that we survive and thrive. We are better together.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

Have you ever investigated the secrets of living a long and happy life?

Numerous factors lead to longevity, but only one stands at the top.

Beyond a healthy diet, regular exercise, a sense of purpose, and various spiritual pursuits, it’s our relationships that offer us a few more times around the sun.

It’s our families, friends, and other communities that are there in good times and bad.

When we sometimes fall, it’s a neighbor or other special person checking in on us to make sure we are OK that often saves the day.

EXERCISE:

How rich and rewarding are your relationships and community interactions?

What new and different approaches can you take — now and in the future — to have your life be better when you get together?

I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.

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“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.”

—Muhammad Ali, 20th Century American Boxer and activist

Image from Unsplash by Anastase Maragos

In the early years of my coaching career, I was fortunate to be selected for an amazing assignment — to coach the CEO of an exciting start-up tech company.

I was referred to this individual by another CEO I had been coaching for years, and who happened to be an angel investor in his organization.

Our relationship got off to a wobbly start and we needed a number of check-in sessions to sort out a few areas of misalignment.

The client, who was very direct, eventually told me that he wanted to “feel the burn” in our efforts, much like a personal trainer would do when working with their athletes.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life would feeling the burn and some pain from your efforts lead you to the gains you seek?

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy

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“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

—Marcel Proust, 20th Century French novelist

Image from Unsplash by CDC

A few weeks ago, Wendy and I watched our two terrific grandchildren so that my daughter and her husband could have a special night out for Valentine’s Day.

Following a logistically challenging dinner at a local restaurant, we began a bedtime routine in which it looked like things were never going to settle down! With teeth eventually brushed and matching Valentine PJs on, we began the ritual of a hopefully relaxing bedtime story, or two….

Instead of Pop Pop or Grandma reading the books, our 5 ½ year old grandson took the lead. His tender and loving approach with his petite 2 ½ year old sister settled things down and delighted everyone!

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that make you happy?

How do they act as charming gardeners who make your soul blossom?

Feel free to reply to this post with an example of your own and let its memory brighten your day.

“Forgiveness is the ultimate weight loss.”

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“Forgiveness is the ultimate weight loss.”

—Jon Gordon, bestselling author and keynote speaker

Image from Unsplash by Diana Polekhina

Each year approximately 45 million Americans are on a diet.

Losing those extra pounds and keeping them off produces untold suffering and angst among so many.

Beyond the physical weight so many of us carry, psychological burdens not related to calorie count and physical activity are also prevalent.

Anger and resentment in our relationships can build up year after year, weighing us down emotionally.

Lightening this load takes a different kind of effort with forgiveness being a key to unlocking many of the chains that hold us down.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of life would an extra helping of forgiveness aid you in losing much of the emotional weight you carry?

What are some of the first steps you can and will take to lighten your load?

A good friend is a connection to life —a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world

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“A good friend is a connection to life —a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”

—Lois Wyse, late advertising executive and author

Image from Unsplash by Felix Roosting

About a month ago, I watched a short video clip in which Arthur Brooks was interviewed. In this conversation with Daniel Pink, Brooks he introduced the concept of real friends versus deal friends.

According to Brooks, deal friends are people who can help you in a transactional way, while real friends are the ones who might call you at inconvenient times in a crisis.

Deal friends are people who are useful to you in some way, however these friendships are often less satisfying and feel incomplete because they don’t involve the whole self.

EXERCISE:

Who are your real friends?

How have and do they connect you to life?

How often do you acknowledge these special relationships and let them know how meaningful they are to you?

Some say that birds of a feather flock together. To expand your world, you may wish to

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Some say that birds of a feather flock together. To expand your world, you may wish to seek out and embrace an odd duck now and then.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kevin Gedge

Take a few minutes to examine your personal and professional communities.

To what degree do the people around you look, act, and think like you?

Where and in what areas of your life do you observe and participate in groups of people with diverse backgrounds?

Where do you notice some odd ducks that challenge your thinking and your comfort?

Where might you be the odd duck, feeling out of place and awkward?

How do these experiences expand your world and help you grow?

EXERCISE:

How does flying with your current flock limit the places you can go?

How would a few detours with some different birds reveal some new sites to build your next nest?

“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by

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“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.”

—Christopher Morley, 20th Century American journalist

Image from Unsplash by Road Trip with Raj

Over the past several months I’ve noticed an increase in the water works in my communities.

Beyond numerous strong storms with an abundance of rain, there have been many floodgates of tears released due to various types of heavy burdens.

Today’s quote could go a bit further—just as rain falls to renew the greenery in our world, tears need a shoulder to land on to lighten our emotional loads.

EXERCISE:

Where are you noticing or experiencing heavy hearts in your world?

Where are people in these communities compassionately coming together to share these showers of emotion to help clear the skies of tomorrow?