Category Archives: resentment

The problem with holding a grudge is

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“The problem with holding a grudge is that it makes your hands too full to do anything useful.”

—Seth Godin, American author and a former dot-com business executive

Image from Unsplash by Resume Genius

Where in your world are you holding a grudge? In what ways has it impacted your productivity and your most important relationships?

Did you know…

  • Grudges consume cognitive resources diverting focus from work tasks that require concentration.
  • Chronic resentment elevates stress levels and increases the risk of anxiety, depression and physical ailments like hypertension.
  • Emotional exhaustion from grudges lowers resilience and impairs problem-solving and creativity.
  • Grudge-holding often correlates with social withdrawal, hindering new relationships and deepening loneliness.

EXERCISE:

Letting go of grudges is an act of self-liberation. Acceptance, forgiveness, perspective shifts, and intentional boundary setting are some approaches to consider to free your hands for better things.

Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments

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“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”

—Neil Strauss, American author, journalist and ghostwriter.

Image from Amazon

Where in your life do you harbor resentments towards others?

Who are the people that make your blood boil — or just annoy you — because they let you down or fall short of your expectations?

In arguments with our significant others, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase “I’m not a mind reader” used to express our frustrations.

To avoid or lessen the occurrence of such interactions preempt them by speaking up early with direct and specific requests. If accepted, you have a clear promise — and if denied, you can always try negotiating an alternative path forward.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life are you silent about your expectations of others?

How has any underlying or overt resentment affected your relationship?

Consider reading Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott for many productive ways to speak up and listen better to improve your future interactions.

“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

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“It takes some know how to know how to say no.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Amazon

Yesterday’s post was about reaching the point of diminishing returns and the heavy costs we often pay.

Perhaps the most often used strategy to lighten our loads is to just say NO. How often have you given this approach a go, and how did things work out?

One primary reason saying NO is so difficult is that we don’t wish to damage the relationship. When we don’t create boundaries and say NO, we often hurt ourselves and feel considerable resentment.

EXERCISE:

Here are some useful books you may explore to help you learn to say NO:
The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
The Power of No by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher
The Book of No by Susan Neuman
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades