Category Archives: self-determination

I would rather be a little nobody than an evil somebody.

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“I would rather be a little nobody than an evil somebody.”

—Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

Image from Unsplash by Caleb Fisher

What qualities and character traits do you associate with Abraham Lincoln?

What pops in my mind is the moniker “Honest Abe.” A close second is his focus on serving others, and his considerable humility when it came to serving himself.

If you follow the work of Jim Collins, Abe would be considered a level 5 leader. Collins’ work and extensive research focused on making organizations that were built to last, and what it took to have them go From Good to Great.

EXERCISE:

How does today’s quote reflect your views of yourself and the world around you?

How can Lincoln’s words serve as a guide for all of us as we step into each new day?

There are miracles in me waiting their own turn to happen

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“There are miracles in me waiting their own turn to happen. I am never giving up on myself.”

—Rupi Kaur, Canadian poet, illustrator, and photographer

Image from Unsplash by Towfiqu barbhuiya

My wife and I recently finished watching the 46th season of the TV show Survivor. To keep the viewer’s interest the game moves faster and has many more twists and turns than a formula one race.

Instead of a 39-day format each new season is squeezed into 26 days where a widely diverse group of people are placed on an island where their physical, mental, and social skills are tested to their limits and beyond.

I’ve added the word beyond because of the transformative impact this game has on many of the contestants.

Along with the potential of winning a million dollars, a high percentage of players discover new levels of grit and determination that laid dormant prior to the challenges they face by the game and their opponents.

EXERCISE:

What miracles in you are waiting their turn to happen? How can you rally your belief in yourself to not only survive but thrive playing the game of life?

I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.

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“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.”

—Muhammad Ali, 20th Century American Boxer and activist

Image from Unsplash by Anastase Maragos

In the early years of my coaching career, I was fortunate to be selected for an amazing assignment — to coach the CEO of an exciting start-up tech company.

I was referred to this individual by another CEO I had been coaching for years, and who happened to be an angel investor in his organization.

Our relationship got off to a wobbly start and we needed a number of check-in sessions to sort out a few areas of misalignment.

The client, who was very direct, eventually told me that he wanted to “feel the burn” in our efforts, much like a personal trainer would do when working with their athletes.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life would feeling the burn and some pain from your efforts lead you to the gains you seek?

“The drop hollows out the stone, not by force but by falling often.”

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“The drop hollows out the stone, not by force but by falling often.”

—Ovid, ancient Roman Poet

Image from Unsplash by Gert Boers

What’s working and going well in your life?

What aspects of your world are not going as you wish?

Where can and do you look for the answers?

Too often, we point to things outside our control for why we feel stalled or stopped. When we do, how often do we appreciate the three fingers in our palms pointing back in our direction?

When we force things in our lives with heroic efforts and they don’t get the job done, we often give up.

It’s us stopping that stops us.

When we explore the aspects of our lives that are working, they work because we do.

It’s our drop by drop, moment by moment, day by day efforts that help us carve out a life of significance and success.

EXERCISE:

What areas of your life would benefit most from your drop-by-drop persistence?

Share your intentions with a coach, colleague, family member, or friend to help you keep your efforts going when things stop flowing.

Friday Review: Self-Determination

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Friday Review: Self-Determination

How much of your current life has been self-determined? Here are a few related quotes you may have missed.

 

“I am the me I choose to be.”

 

 

 

 

“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

 

 

 

 

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are an entire ocean in a drop.”

 

 

Make a pact with yourself

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Make a pact with yourself. It is up to you to see it through.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Elise Storsul

It is common to promise others what we intend to do. Giving and keeping our word is fundamental to the establishment of trust.

How impeccable are you with your word when it involves others? How trustworthy are you when these promises are made with yourself?

Consider the words promise, commitment, vow, and pledge as alternatives to the word pact.

Which if any do your find the most empowering and inspiring to help you see things through?

EXERCISE:

Where and on what matter is it time to make a pact with yourself?

How might you also engage others to support your efforts to fulfill this commitment?

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

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“So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

—Jorge Luis Borges, 20th Century Argentine essayist, poet and translator

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spike

Today’s quote reminds me of Stephen Covey’s habit of being proactive. These days, it has become increasingly easy to have things come our way with little effort. With the click of a few buttons on our phones we can order a meal, get a ride, and have virtually anything delivered in minutes or days.

The caveat here is that we still need to do a bit of searching and actively click a button or two for our flowers to arrive.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are you waiting for things to happen with little or no effort on your part? Where would proactively planting your own garden and decorating your soul add more beauty and abundance to your life?

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands

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“The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there.”

—Robert M. Pirsig, late American writer and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Gia Iris

The paralysis of analysis is very real.

When we examine all the needs of the world the options appear endless.

Where do we begin? We always have the option of working on ourselves first, and then expanding our work outward from there. If we all choose to do this, all those other worthy endeavors would be covered by the remaining eight billion others doing the same.

EXERCISE:

In what specific ways can and will you work to improve your heart, head and hands? As you do, where else will you choose to make a difference in the world beyond?

Learning to adapt to the current circumstances is a key to being happy

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“Learning to adapt to the current circumstances is a key to being happy. Right now, it’s like this.”

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

Following the devastation caused by hurricane Ian in the southeast, the area where I live in Pennsylvania experienced a few days of constant rain. I was surprised that some people complained about our soggy situation.

They apparently internalized the rain and cloudiness, instead of adapting to things as they were. That’s why we have umbrellas and rain coats.

Learning to accept things as they are and working to change things where we can is a road to self-determination.

EXERCISE:

What do you need to accept that you cannot change?

How can you take things as they are and make the most of even the stormy days ahead?

How do you limit yourself by caring about what others think of you

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How do you limit yourself by caring about what others think of you?

Image from Unsplash by Mitchel Lensink

What examples can you recall from your youth of peer pressure? For me, having a pair of Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers and a banana seat bike were top priorities to be accepted by the kids in the neighborhood.

What are some examples of peer pressure you experience these days in your personal and professional communities? What are the expected norms you accept and follow in order to fit it?

EXERCISE:

What is the cost of going along to get along?

Where would the “To Thine Own Self Be True” philosophy be the road to take at this point in your life?