Category Archives: Self Improvement

I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.

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“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.”

—Muhammad Ali, 20th Century American Boxer and activist

Image from Unsplash by Anastase Maragos

In the early years of my coaching career, I was fortunate to be selected for an amazing assignment — to coach the CEO of an exciting start-up tech company.

I was referred to this individual by another CEO I had been coaching for years, and who happened to be an angel investor in his organization.

Our relationship got off to a wobbly start and we needed a number of check-in sessions to sort out a few areas of misalignment.

The client, who was very direct, eventually told me that he wanted to “feel the burn” in our efforts, much like a personal trainer would do when working with their athletes.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life would feeling the burn and some pain from your efforts lead you to the gains you seek?

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands

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“The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there.”

—Robert M. Pirsig, late American writer and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Gia Iris

The paralysis of analysis is very real.

When we examine all the needs of the world the options appear endless.

Where do we begin? We always have the option of working on ourselves first, and then expanding our work outward from there. If we all choose to do this, all those other worthy endeavors would be covered by the remaining eight billion others doing the same.

EXERCISE:

In what specific ways can and will you work to improve your heart, head and hands? As you do, where else will you choose to make a difference in the world beyond?

“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

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“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

—Attributed to Carol Hegedus

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Burden

Today’s quote is a challenging question for most people. Upon close introspection, many of us realize that we are not doing the best of jobs tending to our life. We can be like a shepherd who falls asleep and notices upon waking that a good number of his flock have wandered off — or God forbid — were taken by a wolf.

Where have you been sleeping on the job or dilly-dallying through your days just letting the world pass you by, or following paths mapped out by others?

If you were to tell a stranger your life story up until today how likely would they stay riveted and engaged?

EXERCISE:

How can you do a far better job tending to the story of your life as you pen your upcoming chapters?

Consider reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller for ideas and inspiration?  Another book worth exploring is Someday Is Not a Day in the Week by Sam Horn.

“Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to level yourself up.”

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“Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to level yourself up.”

—Thomas J. Watson, Founder of IBM

Image from Unsplash by Ruffa Jane Reyes

In how many ways are you a better person today than you were a year or two ago? If you can confirm that you are, it is likely because of the company you keep.

To what degree do you admire, respect, and wish to be like members of your family, friends and colleagues?

In what ways do they set a good example for you to strive for in your personal and professional efforts?

Alternatively, where do you see yourself plateaued and slipping into bad habits, or falling behind your former self? How have your close relationships played a role in your losing your edge in your pursuit of being your best?

EXERCISE:

Where are your friendships and key relationships in need of a reboot or upgrade?

How and in what ways can you help those around you level up and benefit from your friendship even more?

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than Your I.Q.”

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“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”

—Robin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series

Image of the book cover of "The Little Engine that Could"

The Little Engine that Could is an American fairy tale that became widely known in the 1930s. Through an online poll of teachers, The National Education Association rated it as one of the Top 100 books for children, because of its key message of the importance of optimism and hard work.

The story’s signature phrase, I Think I Can is a key memory I have from childhood on the importance of self belief and self determination. My wife Wendy and I did our best to instill this concept in both our children.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would a bunch more “I can” and “I know you can” statements support greater achievement and life satisfaction in your personal and professional communities?

Here is a short video if you wish to recapture the memory or share it with someone you love.

What comes out of you when you are squeezed is what is inside you

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“What comes out of you when you are squeezed is what is inside you.”

—Wayne Dyer, late American Self-Help Author and Speaker

image of a rolled up tube of toothpaste

Image from Wikipedia

How many times each day do you brush your teeth to keep your pearly whites pearly white, strengthen your gums, and freshen your breath? Did you know that there are numerous additional uses for toothpaste that can be realized with a few more squeezes? Alternative uses include:

  • Cleaning your hands after cutting smelly foods such as onions
  • Cleaning jewelry
  • Cleaning crayon marks from painted walls
  • Defogging sports eye wear
  • Treating acne and other skin conditions
  • Nail care
  • Removing carpet stains and shower slime

EXERCISE:

Where and how would a few more squeezing situations bring out even more of your unique talents and abilities? How would a bit more squeezing bring out more of the best in others in your personal and professional communities?

There is no greater education than one that is self-driven

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“There is no greater education than one that is self-driven.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson, American Astrophysicist

Image of a notebook with a checklist

Image from Unsplash by Glenn Carstens-Peters

Elementary school, middle school, high school, and college are what we call traditional education. If you were lucky, perhaps your upbringing included books, encyclopedias, and of course, highly committed parents who emphasized education as a key doorway to a bright future.

For many, once we complete our traditional education, we slow down or even stop our efforts for continuous learning. Somehow that song, “No more teachers, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks” was ingrained in us, and we decided we were finished.

EXERCISE:

Consider yourself as your own home-schooling professor, creating the perfect curriculum just for you. The topics you choose are both important and relevant to a fully engaged and happy life. What could this self-driven education include that would result in a PhD in Thee?

You can’t pour from an empty cup

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“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”

—Author Unknown

Image of hands holding a coffee cup

Image from Unsplash by Sabri Tuzcu

In his book, Give and Take, author Adam Grant points out that in many situations, the givers of the world are more successful and fulfilled.

There is, however, a particular exception to his observation. He makes a clear distinction between two types of givers, which he calls “Selfless,” and “Otherish.”

A critical difference between the two is that Selfless givers give to the point of being an empty cup, while Otherish givers put on their own oxygen mask before assisting others.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life are you running on or near empty?

What Otherish strategies can you use to retain some reserves for yourself, so that you can continue your generous and contributory efforts?

Exhaustion is not a status symbol

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“Exhaustion is not a status symbol.”

—Brené Brown, research professor at the University of Houston

Image of a hand holding a candle burning at both ends

Image from andtodaysidiomis

Do you ever hear yourself or others making statements such as:

  • I work 24/7
  • I work 60, 70, 80 hours per week
  • I only need 4-5 hours of sleep
  • I can’t remember when I took all of my vacation time
  • I usually eat at my desk, and sometimes in my car
  • I bill more hours than anyone else in my firm
  • I’m burning the candle at both ends

Somehow, many of us took the idea of hard work, and got carried away. Some of us have gotten to the point that our self worth and value equates to “giving it my all,” taking it to the point of endangering our very lives.

The evidence that we need to conserve and recharge our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies before it is too late is overwhelming.

EXERCISE:

Select at least one personal or professional activity that you will do less of or stop entirely, so you can step back from the ledge of exhaustion. See if you can reclaim at least one hour each day, and then consider reducing or eliminating a second activity.

I highly recommend reading The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr if you want to take this concept further.

When You Say YES to Others

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“When you say, ‘YES’ to others, make sure you are not saying, ‘NO’ to yourself.”

—Paulo Coelho, Brazilian Author

Image of Book Cover

Throughout the seven years I’ve been writing The Quotable Coach blog, I’ve posted numerous times about saying, “Yes” and “No” to requests made by others in our personal and professional communities.

To add a bit more bite to this subject, I’d like to add the words, “Oh,” “Heck,” and even “Hell” before the No’s and Yeses, to see if it creates a bigger shift in how you react and what you agree to do.

EXERCISE:

Where would saying, “Hell No!” to others and “Hell Yes!” to yourself a few more times make the biggest difference in your world?

You may consider using the concepts from the book, The Power of a Positive No by William Ury to find more polite ways to communicate your decision.