Category Archives: strategy

There are many paths to the same destination

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There are many paths to the same destination. When one path is blocked, we simply choose another. How many WAZE are available to you at this moment?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

The other day I needed to drive from my home outside Philadelphia into the center city district during rush hour. Knowing this, I opened the WAZE app to determine when I needed to leave to provide me a safe margin of time to keep my white-knuckle stress to a minimum.

Although the bee-line distance was only around 25 miles, the time and turns it took was mind boggling.

In all my years, I had never seen the streets and neighborhoods that eventually took us to our destination.

EXERCISE:

How do you navigate your various paths through life when faced with roadblocks and detours?

What strategies do you use to reach your destinations when your usual routes are not available?

“Just keep swimming.”

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“Just keep swimming.”

—Dory, in Finding Nemo

Image from Unsplash by Tyler Nix

I recently watch the Netflix series Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones. During his exploration, author Dan Buettner travels around the world to places such as Okinawa, Sardinia, Singapore, the Greek islands, and even places in the U.S. to discover the secrets of a long and vibrant life.

Among the variety of strategies for living longer, healthier lives is a focus on movement. Unlike many western societies where lifestyles can be fairly sedentary, it is pleasing to see the simple practices of physical daily chores and walking comprise a majority component of their fitness endeavors.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can and do your incorporate movement into your days?

How might a few more laps, a bike ride, walking with friends, or taking the stairs add a few more years to your life and life to your years?

Procrastination is the thief of time

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“Procrastination is the thief of time. Collar him.”

—Edward Young, 18th Century English Poet

Image from Unsplash by nit niu

When we think of the word “collar” most of us think of the piece of clothing around our necks. In Young’s day, it was often used as a term to apprehend or arrest a criminal.

If you watch police shows on TV,  the term often points to the success rate of bringing in the bad guys and taking them off the streets to pay for their crimes.

Procrastination is indeed a thief.

What has it stolen from you over the years?

How is it picking your pockets these days?

EXERCISE:

What strategies can and will you use to collar procrastination and free yourself of its choke-hold on your life?

You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick

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“You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick on their hero’s journey.”

—Anne Lamott, American writer, political activist, and writing teacher

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

What are your thoughts about being a good parent? If you happen to be blessed with little ones of your own — even if they are fully grown — I am sure you have plenty to share!

Examine how you interacted with them at different ages. How protective were you in their infant and toddler years? How did things stay the same or change as they got older and exerted increased independence?  To what degree did you keep them in bubble wrap or let them out of their packaging to experience the world on their own?

EXERCISE:

In what ways do your current parenting strategies support your children in becoming all they can be?

What adjustments may be appropriate for them to fully discover and develop their inner hero?

Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you

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“Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you.”

—Doe Zantamata, Writer, photographer and graphic designer

Image from Unsplash by Adrian Swancar

Today’s quote seems straightforward, but how do we actually do it?

How can we untangle and release ourselves from the people who push our buttons and enrage us by what they do and say?

As is the case with various toxic substances in our environment, avoidance and keeping our distance is a solid strategy.

But what if these folks simply can’t always be avoided as in the case of family members, neighbors, and work colleagues who seem to have the keys to our locked doors?

What strategies work best when you find yourself triggered and upset?

EXERCISE:

Please check out any of the three books below for many useful approached to deal with the more challenging people in your world. These books are even more useful to help good relationships be great ones:

Fierce Conversations, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations.

You can also send an email to barry@dempcoaching.com and I will be happy to send you a copy of my Masterful Relationship workbook in a PDF file.

“Don’t focus on only one growth path.”

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“Don’t focus on only one growth path.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Vladislav Babienko

To what degree are you a one-dimensional or multi-dimensional person?

Take a close look at how you spend your days and who you spend them with.

In which of these communities are you experiencing the greatest engagement and growth?

Alternatively, where do you feel stuck, stopped, or even regressing?

Over the past several months, some of my clients and many people in my professional networks have seen their growth thwarted. Many of us have had our cheese moved by the pandemic and its economic consequences. Many are exploring other options, or are engaged in what I like to call a dual strategy – pursuing alternative and supplemental career options.

Beyond the working world, many of them are also taking the time to invest in personal and professional growth efforts, to better themselves and others.

EXERCISE:

Consider purchasing Seth Godin’s book, The Bootstrapper’s Bible, to see how you might pursue the idea of starting and growing your own business. The book was originally written in 1998 and while a bit dated, contains many of the fundamentals to get you going.

“It is named the WEB for a good reason.”

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“It is named the web for a good reason.”

—David Foster Wallace, late American Novelist

Image from Unsplash by Robert Anasch

Did you know that spiderwebs don’t just intercept prey but actually attract it?

Many people—including me—have believed that spiders simply set up their traps in a promising area that insects travel and wait to see what happens.

It turns out that many spiders build webs using designs that actively attract other insects. They don’t just trap the unlucky.

How often and in what ways are you lured and trapped by the seductive aspects of the worldwide web?

In what negative ways does it consume pieces of your life without you knowing?

EXERCISE:

What are some good strategies for avoiding and breaking free from the addictive, alluring man-made web?

“Being a nice person can be an effective strategy.”

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“Being a nice person can be an effective strategy.”

—Eric Barker, Author of BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE

Image from Unsplash by Tim Mossholder

During my senior year of high school I worked as a Deli-man at the local Jewish delicatessen. My responsibilities included serving a high volume of customers  delicacies such as pastrami, corned beef, and smoked fish for Sunday brunch, from 3pm Saturday to 3am Sunday.

I was 18 years old. The majority of the other deli-men were in their fifties or sixties. It turned out that being able to slice lox razor-thin was paramount to being a brain surgeon in this community, and these veterans were simply the best.

One downside of this work was the significant number of challenging customers who saw themselves as superior to everyone else, and demanded “only the best.”

When those customers entered the store, most of the veteran deli staff quickly took their 30-minute breaks, leaving ME to the wolves, and most of these customers strongly objected to an 18-year-old rookie taking care of them.

Clearly, fighting fire with fire was never going to work, so I took the kill them with kindness approach, and in time, won them over.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom in your personal or professional communities would being the nice person you are be the best strategy to follow?