Category Archives: Support

“Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.”

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“Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.”

—Neil De Grasse Tyson, American Astrophysicist

Image from Unsplash by Jason Leung

The world idolizes winners. Examine the media and you will find countless examples from game shows, reality TV, sports, social media icons, and even speakers, leaders, and coaches.

Who sits at the top of the list of super achievers in your personal and professional communities?

In recent weeks I’ve been paying even closer attention to my daughter Rachel and my grandson Weston. Beyond learning his numbers, letters, shapes, and colors, he is in new territory with potty training.

If you’ve experienced this right of passage with children and grandchildren, you know that there are far more mishaps than successes in the early stages.

EXERCISE:

Where is it time to give out far more “A’s” for effort and supportive encouragement in your world? Where and from whom could you most benefit from a booster shot of encouragement?

“If you can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness.”

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“If you can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Copper and Wild

When was the last time you tried to cheer someone up? When was the last time your friends and family tried to pencil a bit of happiness into your world?

Although well intentioned, many of these efforts don’t do the trick and can sometimes backfire, leaving others feeling worse. In such cases, perhaps a “less is more” approach can act as an eraser to lighten the burden.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom could your simple presence, care, and a loving shoulder to lean on be the way to support those experiencing sadness or loss?

A man’s pride can be his downfall

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“A man’s pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.”

—Bear Grylls, British Adventurer

Image of Bear Grylls

Image of Bear Grylls from DailyExpress

If you were to look up the phrase “rugged individual or adventurer” on the internet, you would likely see a photo and description of Bear Grylls.

He served in the British army, trained in unarmed combat, desert and winter warfare, survival, climbing, and parachuting. He is also noted for his numerous expeditions, including:

  • Climbing Mount Everest
  • Circumnavigating the United Kingdom on a jet ski
  • Crossing the North Atlantic in a rigid inflatable boat
  • Climbing remote and “unclimb-able” peaks in Antarctica

Although much personal attention has created his celebrity status, he points out most vividly, with today’s quote, that in virtually all cases, his successes involved and were dependent on the support and guidance of others.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life have you been going it alone to achieve what you desire? Where and on what matters it is time to more fully embrace and yes, request the assistance of others in your various communities?

Check out Grylls’ Wikipedia page, and note how many of his accomplishments include many other people backing his efforts.

If people are doubting how far you will go

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“If people are doubting how far you’ll go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.”

-Michele Ruiz, award-winning broadcast journalist

Image of man walking on ice

Image from Unsplash

Having supportive people in your life is a critical component to success.

It is bad enough when our own thinking fuels the seeds of doubt; we surely don’t need those around us sharing their limiting beliefs and negative views of our potential.

The coaching for today is to see these individuals as toxic, and to remove them completely from our worlds.

EXERCISE:

Who are the doubters and naysayers in your personal and professional worlds? In what ways can you get far away from them, to avoid their negative influence? How can and will you surround yourself with “true believers” to support your greatest personal and professional potential?

Find Good Support

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“Don’t wait for someone to take you under their wing. Find a good wing and climb up underneath it.”

—Frank C. Bucard, Author of The Trust Puzzle

Image from Flickr by Savannah Sam Photography

Image from Flickr by Savannah Sam Photography

We all need help if we are to fly high and far.

Think back to the recent Olympics in Brazil, and consider the social supports in place for each athlete. Beyond their coaches, there were friends, family, mentors, and sports psychologists directing their efforts toward personal excellence.

In the event you do not have your own team of supportive individuals lined up to encourage and uphold you, begin today to seek them out, and choose the very best. With a champion’s spirit and effort, both you and those with “good wings” will benefit greatly.

EXERCISE:

Once your “A” team of supportive individuals are on board, take the initiative to spread your own wings for others to climb underneath.

Talk About Things that Matter

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“Talk about things that matter to people who care.”

-Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker

Prioritize

Image from Flickr by sepblog

The nugget of wisdom in today’s quote highlights two of the most significant elements of success.

By focusing on more things that truly matter, we prioritize the important over seemingly urgent issues we encounter throughout the day.

Caring, supportive people provide needed ongoing counsel and occasional kicks in the butt. Their encouragement causes us to stretch and engage in the hard work needed to pursue and realize the goals and objectives that matter.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life who care deeply about your success? How can you focus more of your interactions on the stuff of life that really matters?

“The growth and development of people…”

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“The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.”

-Harvey S. Firestone, American businessman, founder of the Firestone Tire and Rubber Company

Image from freightdawg.com

Image from freightdawg.com

Personal growth and development are among my top core values. Not so surprising is the fact that a very high percentage of people seeking the support of a coach share this commitment.

There is a magical power that reveals itself when we pursue our own personal growth, and support the growth of those around us.

What would be possible if each parent, teacher, and student would embrace and demonstrate these values?

EXERCISE:

How will you pursue your own development as a leader by supporting the growth and development of others today?

“People change and forget…”

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“People change and forget to tell each other.”

—Lillian Hellman, American dramatist and Broadway screenwriter

Photo from onthejob.45things.com

Photo from onthejob.45things.com

Coaching as a profession has been around for over 20 years, and is estimated as a two billion (or more) dollar industry. Fundamental to the coaching process is the desire for both individuals and organizations to change for the better.

Rooted in this change process is the strong desire for a better future, and in particular, a high level of social support by friends, family, colleagues, and of course, coaches.

Open communication and clarity around this desire, along with some description of what behaviors are to be expected, are critical for optimal success.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently trying to change something in either your professional or personal life? How can you communicate this intention to those around you to rally the social support necessary for this change to occur and be sustained?

“Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.”

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“Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.”

– Robert Anthony, PhD and Hypnotherapist

Photo from Flickr by Martina Yach

Photo from Flickr by Martina Yach

During coaching sessions, I often refer to the reasonably extensive collection of books in my office.

I highlight, underline, and do a good bit of writing throughout the pages of these books, to enhance my ingestion and digestion of these nuggets of knowledge.

For me, a good book is not only an investment of $20, it is an investment of many hours of my life. It is time in which I intend to embrace the considerable value each author hoped to share with readers such as myself.

EXERCISE:

Notice where you drink and/or gargle from the fountain of knowledge. What small or large adjustments can you make to these efforts to impact your life for the better?

Pay particular attention today to your engagement with all forms of information, including everything from the great works of fiction and non-fiction to the wide variety of social media choices available.

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

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“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

– Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

When I engage a new client in a customized coaching relationship, we spend a considerable amount of time exploring their key personal and professional relationships. I often have them rate these relationships on a 1 – 10 scale to determine both the current level of support they provide as well as the importance they have for this individual moving forward.

Social support is as important to the coaching process as the client’s own motivation and ability to pursue their goals.

Exercise:

Spend more time with those people who call forth your personal and professional best.

Spend less time with those people who are negative and critical.

Identify some people who uplift you and start spending time with them

Finally, identify some of the most negative, judgmental people and stop spending time with them or giving them any “mindshare”.