Category Archives: Uncategorized

Leave them with an afterglow

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“Leave them with an afterglow, not an aftertaste.”

Dr. Harry Cohen, Co-Founder of Be the Sun, not the Salt

Image of a sunset

Image from Unsplash by Diego PH

Take a moment to reflect on the people in your life that always brighten your days. Look closely at all of their wonderful qualities, attitudes, and the genuine ways they share themselves and what they have with those around them.

On the other hand, who are the people in your personal and professional communities you avoid when possible, and who often leave a bitter aftertaste that lingers even after they are gone? What characteristics do they display that dampen, deplete, and darken the world around them?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading or re-reading the classic book, FISH, and focus on the concept of “making their day.” Perhaps take a quick read through Be the Sun and Not the Salt by Dr. Harry Cohen, for some extra “brighten their day” strategies, which I guarantee will improve your life as well.

When we do what we have to do we are compliant

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“When we do what we have to do we are compliant. When we do what we choose to do we are committed.”

—Marshall Goldsmith, American Leadership Coach

Image from a3carpetcleaning.com

To what degree are you an “extra credit” type of person? Recall your early educational experiences, in which a special teacher or a special subject motivated you well beyond just meeting expectations and passing the course. They motivated you to experience new levels of excellence, achievement, and of course, greater personal growth.

What about today in your vocational and avocational efforts? Where do you choose to go the extra mile and exceed expectations versus simply doing just enough to maintain your employment (for the moment) and get by?

EXERCISE:

To help you make the shift from compliant to committed, consider exploring the work of Dan Pink in his book, Drive, to see how greater autonomy, mastery, and purpose will help you choose and eventually realize a far more fulfilling and rewarding life.

True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain, but being moved to help relieve it

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“True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain, but being moved to help relieve it.”

—Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence Author

Image of three senior citizens at a sporting event

Image from Unsplash by Piliippe Leone

When I visit my 92-year-old dad in his assisted living community, he often says, Getting old is not for sissies! Before moving into this community, he lived with my mom in a senior community with about 15,000 other residents, living as happily and fully as possible.

As someone who tries to be mindful and observant of my surroundings, it is easy to see the various levels of physical and emotional pain most people experience. To my delight, I also observe tremendous compassion within these communities. It is common to see how the majority of the people do their best to help each other.

These efforts give them purpose and at least temporarily take their focus off of their own troubles.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently moved to help relieve the pain others may be experiencing in your world? What one action can and will you take today to demonstrate a higher level of compassion?

Consider reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande to explore aging and how we can better support one another through this process.

Friday Review of Mistakes

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FRIDAY REVIEW: MISTAKES

How do you react when you make a mistake? Here are a few mistake-related posts you may have missed. Click the links to read the full message.

 

“We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don’t have time to make them all ourselves.”

 

 

 

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”

 

 

 

“Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean your mistakes get to make you. Take notice of your inner critic, forgive yourself, and move on.”

 

 

 

By going out of your mind you come to your senses

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“By going out of your mind, you come to your senses.”

—Alan Watts, 20th Century British-American philosopher

Image of a man facing the sunrise with arms outstretched

Image from Unsplash by Zac Durant

Have you ever considered that going out of our minds was a good thing?

Not in the One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest way, but in a quieting the inner voice/monkey mind way.

During a recent meditation session, the instructor led me through an exercise that focused on each of the five senses. With this shift of focus, I noticed a considerable reduction and even a few momentary stoppages of mental chatter and a greater sense of calm and presence.

EXERCISE:

Consider spending 60 seconds on each of your five senses. Make a note or two regarding what you perceived:

  • Sight
  • Hearing
  • Touch
  • Taste
  • Smell

Where in your life would going out of your mind and coming to your senses have the greater benefit?

Friday Review: Acceptance

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FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCEPTANCE

What aspects of life do you accept without question? Here are a few acceptance-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

 

“If you’re able to be yourself, then you have no competition. All you have to do is get closer and closer to that essence.”

 

 

 

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

 

 

 

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”

 

 

We are mere journeymen

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“We are mere journeymen, planting seeds for someone else to harvest.”

—Wallace Thurman, 20th Century African-American Novelist

Image of two men in a wheat field

Image from Unsplash by Warren Wong

For virtually all people alive today, the standard of living and the quality of life has improved exponentially over the past few decades, and particularly in the last two centuries.

If you have ever interviewed your parents, grandparents, or even looked back over your own life, things have improved in countless ways.

Consider the idea that all the people known and unknown to you have been farmers planting and cultivating the seeds we all get to harvest each day.

EXERCISE:

Who in your world can and will you thank and acknowledge for all the abundance we experience today?

Where and how are you currently planting the seeds of a better world to benefit the lives of other’s for future generations?

Friday Review of posts on Renewal

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FRIDAY REVIEW: RENEWAL

What are your strategies for renewing your energy, your sense of self, and regaining balance in your life? Here are a few renewal-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

“The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you are finished.”

 

 

 

“The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy. They come when the mind is still, when silence speaks loudest.”

 

 

 

 

“Exhaustion is not a status symbol.”

 

 

 

 

In every man there is something

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“In every man there is something wherein I may learn of him, and in that I am his pupil.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American essayist and poet

Image of two people talking at a business meeting

Image from Unsplash by raw pixel

There is a wise saying about the fact that we have one mouth and two ears, and should use them proportionately.

For most of us, coaching, teaching, advising, and mentoring others, although with good intentions, plays into the fact that we often prefer to be interesting rather than interested.

Consider yourself an explorer or a miner looking for the gold in “them thar’ hills.” To reap such riches, the only tools you would need would be an open set of eyes, ears, and of course, an open mind.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life is it far more important to be the pupil rather than the teacher?

What is it that you most wish to learn to support either your personal or professional life?

Who are the specific teachers in your world that hold the wisdom you seek?

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows

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“A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.”

—St. Francis of Assisi

Image of a sunbeam coming through a tree

Image from Unsplash by Darren Bockman

Who are the people in your world that light up your life?

Take a minute or more to make a list of these special people, and note the qualities and characteristics they exhibit that caused you to put them on your list.

On the flip side, note the individuals in your personal and professional communities that cast shadows over your world and reduce your aliveness and life satisfaction. What are their specific behaviors and attitudes that cloud your world?

EXERCISE:

Beyond spending far more time with the first group and less with the second, how can and will you personally bring more sunshine to those around you, for the benefit of all?

This effort will almost certainly attract many more sunbeams from others who also desire brighter days.