Many people are familiar with the story of Thomas Edison’s 10,000-plus unsuccessful attempts to create the light bulb. His philosophy on such a high volume of failures was that the world was simply saying ‘no’ to the most recent attempt. He is quoted as saying, “I never failed. I only found 10,000 ways in which it did not work.”
Undaunted, he persisted in his efforts, always seeing a better way and getting to a ‘yes’ that would eventually light the world.
EXERCISE:
Where in your own life are you receiving your share of No’s?
How often do the No’s stop you? How often do they spur you on in faith, knowing that the better Yes’s of life may simply be a bit further down the road?
“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”
—David Allen, American productivity consultant & author
Among the books I recommend most often to clients who are challenged with managing their professional and personal time is Getting Things Done by David Allen.
One of the critical insights I derived from his work was the idea that too many people use their minds and memories to hold too much information. It turns out that doing so makes most of us far less productive and also causes overwhelming feelings and considerable stress. Perhaps that is why the subtitle of this valuable book is “the art of stress-free productivity.”
EXERCISE:
Please pick up and study Getting Things Done, and do whatever you can to “have” ideas, but “hold” them in memory-keeping or commitment-keeping technologies, where they will be available to you in the moments you plan to work on them.
John has been a pioneer in the fields of leadership and coaching for many years. Today, at age 68, he is doing his best work ever, by building an enterprise that trains and coaches trainers, coaches, and speakers from around the world.
Who doesn’t want to win in life? Who would prefer not to lose?
One of the characteristics I most admire about John is his passion for his own growth and development. He definitely walks the talk daily, in his life-long learning adventure.
EXERCISE:
How can you pursue winning today in all your efforts, and even if you fall, make sure you pick up the lesson on your way up?
“Managers light a fire under people. Leaders light a fire in people.”
—Kathy Austin, Management Consultant
Photo from freehdw.com
Leadership and Management are two of the most highly valued skills necessary to be truly effective in our professional and personal lives.
I feel strongly that these skills, along with masterful communications and effective supportive coaching, are the four legs of the solid foundation of soft skills that support our success.
When asked, most professionals usually view leadership as the more “evolved” and enlightened of the two, in that leadership involves the articulation of an inspired future for an individual or group. Conversely, management—particularly old-school management—is perceived as pushy, aggressive, and often domineering, in order to achieve desired results.
I’d suggest that they can actually work together in an empowered way with inspired leadership as a foundation for effective alignment and a desirable form of self-management. This involves the individual or group sharing a strong commitment with the leaders, willingly promising to give and keep their word to take the actions necessary for eventual success.
EXERCISE:
How can you develop and master inspired leadership and empowering management capacities to move yourself and others forward, professionally and personally?
“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”
-Seth Godin, American author, entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker
photo from addictedtosuccess.com
The point of today’s quote is the main reason I am a coach today. Over 23 years ago, when I was working in sales and marketing for a well-known pharmaceutical company, I realized my inner voice was saying things like:
Thank God it’s Friday!
I don’t want to wake up and go to work!
When will this be over?
I can’t wait to go on vacation!
Oh, No! Monday is coming!
Of course, I’m being a bit dramatic. Still, as many as 70% of working professionals feel and say similar things to themselves and perhaps to others in their lives.
EXERCISE:
Should you see yourself or others in the thoughts above, find the courage to challenge yourself to redesign your life and career. You may find yourself looking forward to getting home from vacation, so you can get back to the exciting life you have designed.
Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of assistance. Write to me at: barry@dempcoaching.com
-Mahatma Gandhi, leader of Indian independence movement in British-ruled India
Mahatma Gandhi
Mahatma Gandhi was always helping and concerned about others. His aims in life included truth, non-violence, spirituality, honesty, discipline, and loyalty. His name, Mahatma, means “a great soul.” He was chosen as “Man of the Millennium” by the BBC.
Once, while Gandhi’s train was pulling out of a station, a European reporter ran to his compartment window. “Do you have a message I can take back to my people?” he asked. It was Gandhi’s day of silence, a vital respite from his demanding speaking schedule, so he didn’t reply. Instead, he scrawled these words on a scrap of paper and passed it to the reporter: “my life is my message.”
EXERCISE:
If your life were your message, what would the people around you say about you? Given, hopefully, many successful and meaningful years ahead, what new or different messages would your legacy include?
Please consider reviewing the links below to examine Gandhi’s extraordinary message in greater detail.
A total solar eclipse will be visible in many parts of the world today, but not here in my home town in Michigan, USA. A total solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between the sun and the earth, and the moon fully blocks the sun. Click here to see if and when the eclipse will be visible in your area.
Most people know that looking directly at the sun can lead to permanent eye damage or blindness. Fortunately, looking at the bright side of life and having an optimistic attitude never injures – and usually aides – people in living happier and more successful lives.
EXERCISE:
Write some of the words listed below on a Post-it Note and stick it somewhere in your home, office, or car where you will see it several times over the next 24 hours… or longer, if you wish.
Personal responsibility and accountability are two very important qualities of those who tend to be the most successful in a coaching relationship. People who possess these characteristics know they are the proverbial athlete on the field of their own lives, and only they can put points on the scoreboard.
I often observe, to the contrary, many people playing the victim, putting much, if not all, the blame for their lot in life on others.
President Roosevelt’s statement makes it clear: We, alone, control our thoughts and actions. Hopefully we use them to influence our world for the better.
EXERCISE:
Where would a bit more self-coaching and taking greater responsibility for your current place in life make the biggest difference in your professional or personal life?
Although the smart phone is one of the most amazing devices ever invented, it does have a dark side.
Walk into any restaurant and you’ll see people out to eat as a family, yet tuning out of the experience by looking down at their phones, texting friends or scrolling through social media feeds. What does this mean in terms of the relationships and interpersonal communications that “make the world go round”?
In this YouTube video from Global Report News, we learn that those who are so deeply attached to their phone that they can’t turn it off no matter where they are or what company they are keeping, are less likely to be happy than those who can resist a ring or turn their phones completely off.
A Kent State University Study of 500 students showed that those who were avid mobile phone users suffered from higher anxiety, and their class work was inferior to those who were able and willing to switch off. The phone heightened their anxiety, and many felt obligated to keep in constant touch. I would expect the results to be similar, if not even more profound, if the study were replicated in the workforce.
What if you were to give particular attention today to how often the people around you tune out the rest of the world by focusing on their “magic box”? Great observation spots for this activity would be at the conference table, walking to and from a parking lot, during meals at restaurants or in your home, the library – even in houses of worship. What do you notice?
EXERCISE:
If you could have a meal with any fascinating person in the world – current, or historical – whom would you choose? How likely would you be to answer your phone in the midst of this meal? How would you feel if they cut you off to take a chatty, informal call? How can you become so interested and engaged that you would never think of of answering or checking your phone, without good reason, in the presence of another person?
The discovery process I use to determine if a prospective client and I are a good fit includes 20 criteria. Each item in the survey provides insight into the likely success of our coaching relationship. Over the years, I have placed greater importance on the attributes related to optimism and a positive attitude.
Although individuals who exhibit high degrees of skepticism and judgmental tendencies can achieve favorable results in a coaching relationship, people working with these individuals can find the relationship extra challenging and draining.
EXERCISE:
Examine relationships in your professional and personal lives that you feel are draining. What adjustments could be made to change the relationships for the better? Please take a closer look at your own attitude and propensity for complaining, and consider if working on yourself might be a good place to start.
