When angry, count to ten before you speak.

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“When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

—Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States

Image from Unsplash by Piotr Miazga

Have you ever considered how similar anger is to a bowl of hot soup?

This past winter, we discovered that our grandkids love my homemade chicken soup. They love slurping up the noodles and then lifting the bowl to drink every last drop of goodness.

Teaching them to blow on their spoons and waiting until the soup cools on its own is a lesson they quickly learned!

How do you cool things off when tempers flare?

Counting to 10, 100, or more is a proven method to allow boiling emotions to subside and let a cooler head prevail.

EXERCISE:

What other chicken soup remedies do you use when faced with heated emotions?

Where and with whom would Jefferson’s counting technique prevent things from overheating in the first place?

Help others help you through courteous communication

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Help others help you through courteous communication of your wants and needs. Don’t expect them to read your mind.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Sander Sammy

The Amazing Kreskin — at the age of 89 — is still performing. His TV series in the 70’s was a big hit in both the U.S. and Canada. While conducting feats of mind reading, mind control, and clairvoyance, he never claimed to have any real psychic powers.

He is perhaps best known for allowing a member of his audience to secretly hide his paycheck for a performance somewhere in the theater. If he was unable to determine the location of the check through various mentalist techniques such as pulse reading, body language reading, and analyzing facial cues, he would not get paid for that performance.

EXERCISE:

Who in your life expects you to be the Amazing Kreskin?

With whom do you expect the same at home or at work?

Where would some simple, straightforward communication take away the mental mystery of what you want and need?

Friday Review: Winning

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Friday Review: Winning

How do you define “winning”? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“There is nobility in the struggle; you don’t have to win.”

 

 

 

“You can’t win if you are not in the game.”

 

 

 

 

“In order to have faith in his own path, a warrior does not need to prove that someone else’s path is wrong.”

 

 

 

“Trust is earned when actions meet words.”

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“Trust is earned when actions meet words.”

—attributed to a Chris Butler

Image from Unsplash by Ronda Dorsey

When I choose a quote for this blog I use a variety of criteria.

I always look for a message that strikes a chord with me, related to living a meaningful life.

A second thing I look for is a message that isn’t too wordy. Usually, a sentence or two is the goal.

A third factor is if the quote is catchy and has a rhyming component. If the message isn’t memorable, how can it provide the stickiness to have its wisdom stick beyond the initial reading?

EXERCISE:

How can and will you apply the rhyming words of today’s quote to build greater trust through your actions in your various communities?

If you have an extra minute, please reply to this post with one of your own favorite rhyming quotes.

“When faced with a problem, we can choose to wait on it or we can choose to work on it.”

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“When faced with a problem, we can choose to wait on it or we can choose to work on it.”

—Stephen St. Amant, author of Savenwood

Image from Unsplash by Karla Hernandez

Taking the time to reflect and ponder on our problems can be a very useful exercise.

Turning our challenges over in our minds can offer us a wider range of perspectives, and ways forward.

At times when we are completely stumped it can be helpful to reach out to others for guidance and assistance.

Taking a wait and see period beyond a reasonable length of time creates a paralysis that can trickle into other areas of our lives.

This often leads to a genderized gridlock and significant loss of confidence and self-efficacy.

EXERCISE:

On what issue have you been waiting too long for your problem to somehow resolve on its own?

Where is it time to take greater initiative and get to work to break-through the obstacles facing you?

What’s the least I can teach that will be the most useful

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“What’s the least I can teach that will be the most useful?”

—Michael Bungay Stainer, author of The Coaching Habit

Image from Unsplash by Kenny Eliason

My first career after graduating college was as a science teacher. My second career was as a pharmaceutical representative working with physicians and other medical professionals.

For the past thirty-two years, I’ve worked as a business and personal coach supporting individuals and organizations to reach higher and achieve more, personally and professionally. I suppose in many ways I’ve always been a teacher.

These days I am still a coach and teacher to my adult children and more recently as Pop-Pop to our two precocious and rambunctious grandchildren. Today’s quote is especially relevant for these little ones with their often limited attention spans.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life do you play the role of a teacher?

How would focusing on quality versus quantity in your wisdom sharing efforts make the biggest difference with the people you serve and support?

There are many paths to the same destination

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There are many paths to the same destination. When one path is blocked, we simply choose another. How many WAZE are available to you at this moment?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

The other day I needed to drive from my home outside Philadelphia into the center city district during rush hour. Knowing this, I opened the WAZE app to determine when I needed to leave to provide me a safe margin of time to keep my white-knuckle stress to a minimum.

Although the bee-line distance was only around 25 miles, the time and turns it took was mind boggling.

In all my years, I had never seen the streets and neighborhoods that eventually took us to our destination.

EXERCISE:

How do you navigate your various paths through life when faced with roadblocks and detours?

What strategies do you use to reach your destinations when your usual routes are not available?

Friday Review: Value

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Friday Review: Value

What do you value most in your life? How do you determine value? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”

 

 

 

“Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.”

 

 

 

 

“We are drowning in information and starving for knowledge.”

 

 

 

 

 

Who are the people who make you think and laugh

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“Who are the people who make you think and laugh? Be the person who takes the initiative and reach out to them.”

—Michael Bungay Stainer discussion with Chip Conley

Image from Unsplash by Surface

I believe the quality of our lives is highly correlated with what we do and those with whom we do them.

For most of us, it is often difficult spending all the time we wish with our favorite people.

We trade our valuable time for other priorities, and often must compromise and settle.

EXERCISE:

How often do you take the initiative to reach out and stay connected to the special people who make you smile and keep you on your toes?

How can you let these people know how important they are so they can also take the initiative to pull you away from people and things not meant for you?

“I’m hungry to find people who are hungry.”

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“I’m hungry to find people who are hungry.”

—Michael Bungay Stainer, author of The Coaching Habit

Image from Unsplash by Maddi Bazzocco

Going out to eat is a primary pastime during our winter months in Florida.

My preference is to experiment with a wide variety of restaurants and types of food to keep things interesting.

One of my favorite places to go for lunch is an Asian buffet called Chow Time.

Our good friend Mitch has a robust appetite for both food and stimulating conversation. It’s nice to have our hunger satisfied beyond the many items being served over the numerous hours we spend in each other’s company!

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that feed your mind and nourish your soul?

How can you spend more time with these special people — perhaps over a delicious meal?