We must all suffer one of two things

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“We must all suffer one of two things: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.”

—Jim Rohn, late American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

Who hasn’t heard the expression, No pain, No gain?

Regarding the things we must suffer, discipline seems like the wise choice.

Where in your life — or in your observations of others — has good old hard work proven successful in the achievement of a worthy goal?

Embrace and celebrate the pride and satisfaction associated with the grit it took to prove you had the right stuff.

Alternatively, where have you and others taken the easy way out and skated by with only minimal effort?

How much regret and disappointment lingers even now for not giving things your all?

EXERCISE:

Where in your life can and will you embrace the pain associated with discipline to realize far more of your fullest potential?

Maintaining healthy boundaries is integral to your well-being

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Maintaining healthy boundaries is integral to your well-being. Be aware of where others end and where you begin.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Drew Hays

Where and when in your world do other people cross the line and encroach on your personal boundaries?

Most of us are familiar with the feeling when our physical space is entered and others are getting too close for comfort. In these cases, moving away and creating more distance usually does the trick.

What other situations do you face where people and things intrude in your world?

Consider your five senses as your “canary in a coal mine,” where various sights, sounds, sensations, smells — and even tastes — can come into play without your full awareness.

EXERCISE:

Conduct a sensory inventory of your environment.

Who are the people and what are the things that diminish your well-being?

What actions can and will you take to keep everything and everyone at a healthy distance?

Friday Review: Observation

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Friday Review: Observation

How strong are your powers of observation? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.”

 

 

 

“Notice if you are watching what is happening or if you are a part of it.”

 

 

 

“It’s on the strength of observation and reflection that one finds a way.”

 

 

 

I think about decision in three ways: hats, haircuts, and tattoos

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“I think about decision in three ways: hats, haircuts, and tattoos.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

I first learned about today’s quote from a fellow blogger named Stephen St. Amant, whose work at savenwood.com is brilliant! I highly recommend adding his blog to your list of daily reading.

James’ post reads:

“I think about decisions in three ways: hats, haircuts, and tattoos:

Most decisions are like hats. Try one and if you don’t like it, put it back and try another. The cost of a mistake is low, so move quickly and try a bunch of hats.

Some decisions are like haircuts. You can fix a bad one, but it won’t be quick and you might feel foolish for a while. That said, don’t be scared of a bad haircut. Trying something new is usually a risk worth taking. If it doesn’t work out, by this time next year you will have moved on and so will everyone else.

A few decisions are like tattoos. Once you make them, you have to live with them. Some mistakes are irreversible. Maybe you’ll move on for a moment, but then you’ll glance in the mirror and be reminded of that choice all over again. Even years later, the decision leaves a mark. When you’re dealing with an irreversible choice, move slowly and think carefully.”

EXERCISE:

What is the right amount of time and energy to allocate to your hat, haircut, and tattoo decisions?

Where are you acting too slowly or too quickly given the potential down side of being wrong?

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

—William S. Burroughs, 20th Century American writer and visual artist

Image from Unsplash by Drew Coffman

Many people treat life decisions like a game show.

When posed with a critical question, they feel that they must buzz in with an immediate answer. If these answers aren’t instantly available, they often give up and move on to some easier ones.

Rarely does operating this way result in any significant insight or growth.

Taking our time and patiently wrestling with our more challenging issues is a proven method of building our mental muscles and resilience.

EXERCISE:

Where would a more relaxed and patient approach to life’s questions offer you more and better answers to the significant issues facing you?

Tend to the small things. More people are defeated by blisters than mountains

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“Tend to the small things. More people are defeated by blisters than mountains.”

—Kevin Kelly, Founding Executive of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Alexander Grey

How often do you make mountains out of molehills?

Where do you tend to overreact or exaggerate the severity of a situation and get stopped in your tracks?

Obstacles in life are as predictable as taking our next breath. Unfortunately, many occur like an elephant sitting on our chest and we panic before we can take our next step.

How would a more measured and objective view of your current challenges help you step over and climb the hurdles facing you?

Remember: All mountain climbers experience blisters.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are you making mountains out of molehills?

What small things can and will you tend to today to get over these humps?

Loosen your grip on Life

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Loosen your grip on life. Sometimes we need to let things work themselves out in their own time and in their own way.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mick Haupt

Are you a golfer or have taken a lesson or two before deciding it may not be the sport for you?

If so, you might have begun your efforts holding the club with a death grip and swung with all your might.

This approach never works and we eventually learn that a more flexible and looser grip is the way to go.

EXERCISE:

On what life matters are you gripping too tightly?

Where would a more relaxed and flexible approach help you perform better and enjoy more strolls along life’s fairways?

Friday Review: Nature

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Friday Review: Nature

How often do you enjoy the beauty and bounty of nature? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Go outside. There is bliss in the silent expanse of nature.”

 

 

“See what happens when you tune your pace to the trickle of a stream, or the waft of a lazy breeze.”

 

 

 

“Without jumping off its perch, the bird would never fly.”

 

 

 

 

It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers

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“It’s a real pleasure to earn the trust of your customers slowly over time by doing what’s right.”

—Charlie Munger, late American businessman and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by krakenimages

In the early years of my coaching career most of my time was spent networking and pursuing various business development activities.

Back then the world saw coaching as an activity only related to sports. The idea of a business or life coach seemed weird and a bit too far out to be widely accepted.

To capture my efforts, I used a customer relationship management software called ACT and LinkedIn to keep track of things.

In numerous cases it took years of steady and consistent effort and doing things right to build the necessary trust to eventually establish the partnerships to move forward.

EXERCISE:

What is an example of a relationship you created over time that was built on integrity and doing things right?

Please  email me at barry@dempcoaching.com if you would like copies of my Masterful Networking and Masterful Relationships workbooks.

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch

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“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.”

—Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur and author

Image from Unsplash by Kym Ellis

What is your favorite sporting event, reality TV show, social media feed, or other activity in which you watch others doing cool things?

Notice your level of engagement in seeing others stepping out and taking risks while you observe behind a screen or sit in the stands.

We do these things because they are pleasurable and safe at the same time.

We get to experience the thrill of victory with little or no real agony of defeat.

When — across your years — did you do something remarkable that others envied?

What did it take for you to jump into the deep end and what was it like to feel the exhilaration and excitement of these activities first hand?

EXERCISE:

Where have you pulled back and stepped away from experiencing the rewards associated with taking risks?

Where can and will you jump in again to feel the rush of being back in the game?