Tag Archives: acceptance

My experience of life is what I agree to attend to

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“My experience of life is what I agree to attend to.”

—William James, 19th Century American philosopher, historian, and psychologist

Image form Unsplash by Fábio Lucas

How do you spend your days?

Who do you spend them with?

How agreeable and satisfied are your answers to these questions?

To what degree do you feel free to attend to your days as you desire?

How is your ability to choose your path blocked by factors outside of your control?

I recently reached a meditation milestone of 1400 consecutive days—the mindfulness exercises have been of significant value to my life off the cushion.

Building greater acceptance, patience, and compassion, and being more equanimous with life as it unfolds have been bonuses to my initial efforts to be less stressed, and grow calmer.

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take in the coming days to enhance your experience of life, and that to which you attend?

What part of your reality can you meet with more acceptance

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What part of your reality can you meet with more acceptance?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from NBC

During the cold months Wendy and I often spend some of our quality time watching TV.  Although we sometimes differ in what constitutes quality viewing, we both agree that NBC’s “This Is Us” is toward the top of our list.

In a recent episode, the mother is diagnosed with plaque in her brain, with early signs of memory loss and dementia. Realizing this decline and other aspects of the aging process she does a beautiful job taking the viewer through many challenging feelings and emotions. Her authenticity, vulnerability, and courage to meet her reality with greater acceptance is done with grace and warmth.

EXERCISE:

Where would greater acceptance of your reality support you in living a more fulfilling and satisfying life?  Consider trying an equanimity meditation to explore being more accepting of your reality as a daily practice.

 

Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life

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“Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail.”

—Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher and writer

Image from Unsplash by Robert Tjalondo

Next August Wendy and I are planning an extended vacation to Alaska and northern Canada with some close friends. Among our various excursions is a dog-sled outing which has gotten rave reviews.

Getting around these areas in winter usually involves snow machines, dog sleds, or snow shoes — especially if you live outside a city. Even with all of their modern shock absorbing technology, snow machines with their many plastic and metal parts seem to have a good many mechanical problems compared to the softer, more yielding materials made by nature.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life has being soft and yielding versus hard and stiff helped you prevail?  What does being a disciple of life mean to you?

Please reply to this post with your thoughts.

“All learning is state dependent.”

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“All learning is state dependent.”

—Jim Kwik, Author of Limitless

Image from Unsplash by Matthew T. Rader

Over the past months, many of us have become increasingly aware of our biases, whether conscious or unconscious. We have learned, through countless examples in our personal and professional worlds, which doors to open, and which to keep closed.

How often do you close the door on others, or worse yet, never open them to peek at what’s inside? To what degree do you live in a state of judgement and protection of the status quo?

What past lessons have been ingrained and habitualized?

EXERCISE:

Where would a state of greater openness, curiosity, and acceptance of other ways of thinking and acting create new learning and opportunities for a fuller and better life?

“Draw strength from others.”

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“Draw strength from others.”

—Cheryl Strayed, Author of Tiny Beautiful Things

Image from Unsplash by Neil Thomas

To what degree do you consider yourself the rock in your family or community?

How often are you the one to come to the rescue or lend that helping hand in your personal and professional worlds?

About 20 years ago, I overextended myself through a rigorous workout, resulting in a significant case of sciatica. It caused severe back and leg pain, and I missed many days of work.

Beyond the physical pain, I took a very unfamiliar emotional ride, which included frustration, anger, and even a sense of worthlessness. My normal optimistic view on life was flipped, and I did a fair job of playing the “Why Me” victim card.

Surprisingly, letting others serve and support me through it was very difficult. Frequent thoughts of “That’s my job,” or “I’m supposed to do that,” ran through my head.

Eventually, someone must have turned on my gratitude switch, allowing me to more fully accept and embrace many acts of kindness and generosity from family and friends.

EXERCISE:

When in the past, or recently, have you been reluctant to seek the support of others?

How and in what ways may you more fully seek and draw on the strengths of others in your personal and professional communities?

Friday Review: Acceptance

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FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCEPTANCE

What is the hardest part of acceptance for you? Here are a few posts related to acceptance you may have missed.

 

“Accept this moment as if you had chosen it.”

 

 

 

 

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

 

 

 

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

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“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.”

—Ric Ocasek, late vocalist, guitarist and songwriter

Image from Unsplash by Zan

There is no such thing as a self-made man or woman.

From the day we are born, our parents, family members, friends, teachers, counselors, mentors, and coaches have helped us along the way. If you look closely at these moments, you will likely see considerable happiness and smiles on their individual faces.

As we get older and gain more independence, many of us become reluctant, even resistant, to the assistance of others, because we don’t wish to impose or put them out.

How often have you stood proudly in your stubborn, I can do it myself shoes?

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom could you request assistance on an important matter to demonstrate how much you value them, and providing them the pleasure of being helpful?

Who in your world may be reluctant to ask you for a helping hand?

“Accept this moment as if you had chosen it.”

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“Accept this moment as if you had chosen it.”

—Eckart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now

Image from Unsplash by Luke Chesser

What percentage of your day do you find yourself irritated, upset, or even angry about how things are going?

Consider your thwarted intentions and unfulfilled expectations as precursors to such feelings.

What benefit might you experience if you stopped resisting how things are and chose instead to accept and allow them to be as they are?

EXERCISE:

What people and events are occurring in your life in which acceptance would provide you the greatest value?

Friday Review: Acceptance

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FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCEPTANCE

What aspects of life do you accept without question? Here are a few acceptance-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

 

“If you’re able to be yourself, then you have no competition. All you have to do is get closer and closer to that essence.”

 

 

 

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

 

 

 

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”