Tag Archives: avoidance

Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire

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“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”

—Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code

Image from Unsplash by M.T. ElGassier

Loss aversion is rooted in prospect theory, which indicates that people fear losses twice as intensely as they value gain.

Neuron-scientific evidence shows the brain’s amygdala reacts more strongly to losses which amplify emotional discomfort. These biases drive risk-adverse behavior such as clinging to familiar routines or avoiding investments due to fear of failure.

The pursuit of dreams is fueled by intrinsic motivation and self-determination theory which emphasizes aligning actions with personal values and autonomy. Although these kinds of actions foster self-actualization and long-term fulfillment, such efforts usually require confronting loss aversion’s gravitational pull.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you overcome the primal risk-averse response of loss-aversion and be more intentional and self-aware of your intrinsic motivation to realize far more of your desires?

 

Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you

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“Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you.”

—Doe Zantamata, Writer, photographer and graphic designer

Image from Unsplash by Adrian Swancar

Today’s quote seems straightforward, but how do we actually do it?

How can we untangle and release ourselves from the people who push our buttons and enrage us by what they do and say?

As is the case with various toxic substances in our environment, avoidance and keeping our distance is a solid strategy.

But what if these folks simply can’t always be avoided as in the case of family members, neighbors, and work colleagues who seem to have the keys to our locked doors?

What strategies work best when you find yourself triggered and upset?

EXERCISE:

Please check out any of the three books below for many useful approached to deal with the more challenging people in your world. These books are even more useful to help good relationships be great ones:

Fierce Conversations, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations.

You can also send an email to barry@dempcoaching.com and I will be happy to send you a copy of my Masterful Relationship workbook in a PDF file.

Speak your truth even if your voice shakes”

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“Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.”

—Robin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series

Image of man holding his finger to his mouth

Image from Unsplash by Ricardo Mancia

“Cowards die many times before their deaths,” said the lead character in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, using the metaphor of death to describe how a person feels when they avoid or run away from a challenge.

In such circumstances, we all die a little when we shrink back from the core values and personal truths that are the basis of our personal power and character.

EXERCISE:

Where and on what personal or professional matters have you been silent? When has fear of failure or being judged by others stopped you from stepping up and voicing your truth?

What has this silence cost you? What would be possible if you spoke up even with a bit of shaking?