Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Greatness and nearsightedness are incompatible.

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Greatness and nearsightedness are incompatible. Meaningful achievement depends on lifting one’s sight and pushing toward the horizon.

—Daniel Pink, New York Times Best-Selling Author

Image from Unsplash by Mohamed Nohassi

What qualities and characteristics make an individual, organization, or even a country great?

Look back over your life to those individuals who stood out and lead those around them to a better future.

Read documents they wrote or listen to their speeches to see how they shared their values and visions for bettering our world.

Notice how their visions became beacons for others so that they could pursue greatness together.

EXERCISE:

Where have you been a bit nearsighted in your personal and professional pursuits?

In what ways can and will you lift your sights higher and push beyond the current horizons of your life?

Examining our fears can help soften them

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Examining our fears can help soften them. Taking action can eliminate them.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Photo Boards

What is your relationship with fear?

How often do you experience it?

What are some examples where you’ve been paralyzed by its grip?

Consider times when you faced these roadblocks and acted anyway.

How did you soften or eliminate some of these barriers through thoughtful examination and courageous effort?

EXERCISE:

What’s possible for your life on the other side of your fears?

How could you examine them more closely to see that many are only offering False Evidence that Appears Real (FEAR)?

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know

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When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But when you listen, you may learn something new.

—The 14th Dali Lama, the highest spiritual leader and head of Tibetan Buddhism

Image from Unsplash by Anastasia Badun

What is your talking-to-listening ratio in your personal and professional life?

Where do you go out of your way to demonstrate and prove your smarts by regurgitating the latest news and current events?

Where might you even participate in spreading gossip within your communities to show that you are in the know?

Shifting our focus from our mouth to our ears seems far more valuable and interesting.

An important factor, however, is to be selective in what and to whom we listen!

EXERCISE:

A coaching phrase I learned many years ago can be summed up in two words.  “Questions Only.”

When we apply this concept in our conversations with others, we are far more likely to learn something new.

Please give it a try and let me know what you discover.

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

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The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

—Stephen Covey, 20th Century American educator, author and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Renáta-Adrienn

I do a fairly good job of scheduling my priorities early in the morning and late in the day. It’s at these times that I seem to have the first and final say in what I do.

I have to admit that a good portion of the rest of my days get away from me — It’s here where other people’s agendas and priorities often bump up against my own.

As a confessed people pleaser, I often let the winds of change blow me off course, or I simply leave my schedule open to adapt to what others may want.

EXERCISE:

How would better daily planning and establishing more rigorous boundaries for your schedule make you a happier and more effective person?

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

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“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”

—Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host, television producer, actress, and author

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

Wishing your past had been different is a wasteful pursuit.

What happened happened, and there is yet to be a time machine invented to undo what’s done.

Unfortunately, many of us hold on to the pains, regrets, missteps, bad breaks, and wrongs done to us, and can’t seem to let go.

Playing these events over and over in our minds is like running on the treadmill — you get all worked up, but don’t get anywhere.

Oprah suggests that forgiveness is a key to unlock the gates that hold us back from living lives with greater peace and freedom.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would forgiveness release you from reliving the past?

How would taking this courageous step help you move forward to live a more satisfying life?

This moment is this moment. What will you do with it?

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This moment is this moment. What will you do with it? Consider using it to perform an act of service.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Thabang Madnsela

How often do you catch yourself feeling bored with seemingly nothing to do?

What are your default activities at these times? Do you grab a snack, watch a show, or browse the web and social media feeds?

Although these activities can fill you stomach and your time, they are only temporary fixes that become empty rather quickly.

What if instead you looked to serve and support someone else at these times? Something more rewarding often shows up!

EXERCISE:

Who can you support and serve in this moment?

How would filling more of the gaps in your days by helping others fill some of the emptiness we often feel when we focus on ourselves?

Friday Review: Confidence

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Friday Review: CONFIDENCE

How much confidence do you have in yourself and those around you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.”

 

 

 

 

“Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.”

 

 

 

“A surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence.”

 

 

 

 

Those who are wise won’t be busy and those who would

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“Those who are wise won’t be busy and those who would be too busy can’t be wise. The wisest man is therefore he who loafs most gracefully.”

—Lin Yutang, 20th Century Chinese philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

I asked the AI app Perplexity to give me a list of 10-15 people alive or dead who are considered wise.

Here is the list it compiled:

  • Mahatma Gandh
  • The Dalai Lama
  • Nelson Mandela
  • Martin Luther King Jr.
  • Mother Teresa
  • Socrates
  • Confucius
  • Maya Angelou
  • Albert Einstein
  • Carl Sagan
  • Jane Goodall
  • Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Oprah Winfrey

EXERCISE:

Who would you add to this list that has made a significant contribution to human wisdom and understanding?

How might the idea of loafing gracefully to reflect and explore the nature and meaning of being human be integral to this process?

“Trust is built in drops but lost in buckets.”

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“Trust is built in drops but lost in buckets.”

—Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Amazon

Who are your most trusted advisors? Consider the following categories as a way to begin building your list:

  • Doctors
  • Lawyer
  • Accountant
  • Banker
  • Best friend(s)
  • Family member(s)
  • News sources

How did you select these individuals or sources? How important is it that they reflect your views and values?

How long does it usually take you to determine if someone is trustworthy? What does it take for you to lose trust in people?

EXERCISE:

Consider sending me an email at barry@dempcoaching.com and I will send you my trust-o-meter handout.  If you happen to be a business professional, consider checking out the classic book The Trusted Advisor by David H. Maister.