Tag Archives: Barry Demp

Those who are wise won’t be busy and those who would

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“Those who are wise won’t be busy and those who would be too busy can’t be wise. The wisest man is therefore he who loafs most gracefully.”

—Lin Yutang, 20th Century Chinese philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

I asked the AI app Perplexity to give me a list of 10-15 people alive or dead who are considered wise.

Here is the list it compiled:

  • Mahatma Gandh
  • The Dalai Lama
  • Nelson Mandela
  • Martin Luther King Jr.
  • Mother Teresa
  • Socrates
  • Confucius
  • Maya Angelou
  • Albert Einstein
  • Carl Sagan
  • Jane Goodall
  • Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Oprah Winfrey

EXERCISE:

Who would you add to this list that has made a significant contribution to human wisdom and understanding?

How might the idea of loafing gracefully to reflect and explore the nature and meaning of being human be integral to this process?

“Trust is built in drops but lost in buckets.”

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“Trust is built in drops but lost in buckets.”

—Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Amazon

Who are your most trusted advisors? Consider the following categories as a way to begin building your list:

  • Doctors
  • Lawyer
  • Accountant
  • Banker
  • Best friend(s)
  • Family member(s)
  • News sources

How did you select these individuals or sources? How important is it that they reflect your views and values?

How long does it usually take you to determine if someone is trustworthy? What does it take for you to lose trust in people?

EXERCISE:

Consider sending me an email at barry@dempcoaching.com and I will send you my trust-o-meter handout.  If you happen to be a business professional, consider checking out the classic book The Trusted Advisor by David H. Maister.

 

What is in the way of what you want

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“What is in the way of what you want? Can you come up with at least three different paths around it?”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

As part of my coaching toolkit, I use a three step exercise called a Pivot Point to help my clients progress when they are stalled or stopped in their efforts.

Step one in this exercise is to assess the current reality. In the case of today’s quote, that would involve determining what’s in the way.

Step two would be to determine the outcome or preferred future they desire. In this case it would be to describe the details of what they want.

Step three mobilizes them into new patterns of thinking and acting to help them realize their path forward and the results they desire.

EXERCISE:

How and where could you use the three step Pivot Point exercise and James Clear’s quote to work around what stands in the way of what you want?

Seeking the support of a coach, mentor, or colleague can be useful in discovering new paths to pursue.

Let go of the need to be understood by everyone

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Let go of the need to be understood by everyone. Who are the people that really matter? How can you express your thoughts and feelings even better to enhance these relationships?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

With the advent of social media, many people have shifted to quantity instead of quality in their relationships.

More likes, friends, and followers appear to be how some folks keep score.

I like the idea of digging one well 1,000 feet deep to tap into the aquifers of life instead of digging 1,000 wells one foot deep and coming up dry.

EXERCISE:

Building relationships takes time. Where and with whom are you taking the time to unearth the deep and meaningful relationships you most desire?

Friday Review: Clarity

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Friday Review: Clarity

Where do you go to seek clarity? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“You don’t need clarity on the rest of your life, just on what’s next in your life.”

 

 

 

Sometimes just stopping makes space for something new to show up.

 

 

 

“Before picking up the phone, pause for a moment and think about the purpose of the call.”

 

 

 

 

Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what you do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do)

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“Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what you do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).”

—Stephen R. Covey, late American educator, author and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Chase Baker

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is one of my all-time favorite books.

I’ve read it numerous times over the years and even participated in several workshops and seminars based on its wisdom.

For some unknown reason I can’t recall ever seeing today’s quote.

The idea that our habits can be created and strengthened at the intersection of our knowledge, skills, and desires really hits home!

EXERCISE:

Draw a Venn Diagram with three overlapping circles to include each of these attributes.

Place the word Habit where the circles intersect and consider displaying this visual in an area you visit often to foster your capacities to create and strengthen the habits you most desire.

 

Ambition is the path to success

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“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.”

—Bill Bradley, two-time NBA champion and former U.S. Senator

Image from Unsplash

When was the last time you took a road trip?

On most trips, especially the long ones, I always fill up the tank and check the tires and fluids before we depart.

Given today’s quote, ambition seems similar to having a map and only having a few gallons of fuel to get going.  Persistence is the knowledge and ability to fill up and refuel along the way to make sure you get you where you’re going.

EXERCISE:

What are all the necessary ingredients to your personal and professional success journeys?

How have your ambitions and persistence contributed to getting you where you wanted to go?

The world is our host

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“The world is our host. What gift do you bring upon your arrival?”

—Stephen St. Amant, author of the Savenwood Blog

Image from Unsplash by Marcel Fagin

New babies are a gift to the world.

The miracle of their birth is a chance to celebrate with family and friends and each new aspect of growth and development is a joy to behold.

The workload of raising children can sometimes become heavy, and our initial delight can shift to feel like a burden rather than a gift.

It’s in these times we need to be more patient and look extra hard for what lies below the surface.

As our little ones grow, we grow with them and our collective contribution to the world beyond can benefit our communities in wondrous ways.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways have you touched the lives of children over the years?

How else has your own life been a gift to the world?

What does the world outside you and inside you need

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What does the world outside you and inside you need? Embrace the satisfaction and nurturing qualities of caring for others and yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Celpax

How do you determine if you are having a good day?

In what ways do you measure your areas of progress and success?

What factors must be met for just surviving versus thriving?

In his book Drive, Daniel Pink points out three areas to consider to experience that “get up and go” that drive us forward in life. They are:

  1. Autonomy and the ability to direct and influence our lives
  2. Mastery and increased skills and capabilities in areas of importance
  3. Purpose or the feeling we are making a positive difference in the lives of others and the world

EXERCISE:

To what degree do your days include these factors?

What steps can and do you take to grow and expand your autonomy, mastery, and sense of purpose in order to feel the drive to get up and start each new day?