Tag Archives: Barry Demp

What you push down doesn’t vanish

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“What you push down doesn’t vanish, it festers and wields quiet power over your thoughts and actions.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by BĀBI

In our journey of personal and professional growth, we often encounter challenges or emotions we try to suppress.

These buried feelings don’t disappear on their own — they remain within us, influencing our behaviors and decisions in both subtle and overt ways.

As a coach, I encourage clients to face these often-hidden aspects of themselves by acknowledging and more importantly addressing what we’ve pushed down.

In doing so, we can truly grow and achieve our best.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of your life are you suppressing challenging thoughts and emotions?

How is resisting these feelings causing them to fester and persist in your life?

For extra insight into such matters, consider checking out Rick Carson’s book Taming your Gremlins: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way.

 

We often act based on the messages of the mind

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We often act based on the messages of the mind. Consider the wisdom of the heart and gut for alternative sources of guidance.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Edz Norton

We often find ourselves acting on the messages our mind sends us, relying heavily on logic and reason. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that true wisdom comes from alternative sources within ourselves.

Consider the intuitive whispers of your heart, guiding you towards what truly resonates with your values and passions. Don’t ignore the gut feelings that serve as your internal compass, alerting you to potential dangers or opportunities.

By integrating these sources of guidance—mind, heart, and gut—you can make more holistic decisions and take better actions that align with your most authentic self.

EXERCISE:

Place your hand over your heart and reflect on your values, and what you care about most.

Place your hand on your stomach and pay attention to any hunches, intuitions, or emotions related to your current situation.

Take an extra minute or two to write down the guidance you received from these two often overlooked sources of wisdom.

Friday Review: Success

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Friday Review: Success

How do you define Success? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pockets.”

 

 

 

“The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to reach the light.”

 

 

 

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

 

 

 

What is a normal goal to a young person

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“What is a normal goal to a young person becomes a neurotic hindrance in old age.”

—Carl Gustav Jung, 20th Century founder of analytical psychology

Image from Unsplash by Estée Janssens

Today’s quote underscores the necessity of adapting goals to life’s stages.

External success in youth often becomes a barrier to inner fulfillment as we age.

Jung emphasizes that older adults should:

  • Embrace inner work: focus on self-reflection, reconciling opposites, and accepting mortality.
  • Releasing ego-centrist goals: shed rigid roles and societal expectations to foster authenticity and connection to the collective unconscious.
  • Accepting the “Afternoon of Life” view of aging as a time for harvest and find meaning in introspection rather than external achievements.

EXERCISE:

In what ways are you still clinging to certain goals of your youth?

How would greater acceptance of the passage of time — and your current stage of life — guide you on a better path with greater purpose and fulfillment?

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic

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“There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.”

—Warren Buffett, American investor and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by Sarah Dorweiler

In a world drowning in complexity, Occam’s Razor — a 14th century principle favoring the simplest explanation — offers a lifeline.

By prioritizing straightforward solutions, we cut through noise and inefficiency.

It sharpens decision-making by filtering distractions, helping us focus on what truly matters.

It also fosters critical thinking, urging us to question assumptions and avoiding biases.

In an era of endless options, embracing simplicity isn’t just practical — it’s liberating.

Taking this approach can help clear the way to dissolve life’s chaos into far more manageable, actionable steps forward.

Leonardo da Vinci is famously quoted as saying, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

EXERCISE:
Where in your world are you over-complicating things?

How would taking a simpler approach to certain matters be a far more effective path toward greater clarity and results?

Optimism is a performance enhancing drug

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“Optimism is a performance enhancing drug that’s both legal and free.”

—Shane Parrish, author of the Farnum Street Blog

Image from Unsplash by Ahmed Dayan

Optimism isn’t just a mindset—it’s a catalyst for breakthroughs.

Like a well-timed spark, it ignites resilience, creativity, and collaboration.

When you choose to see challenges as opportunities, you unlock potential that doubt would bury.

This “drug” costs nothing, requires no prescription, and has no side effects — except results.

EXERCISE:

Start today by identifying one small win you desire.

Amplify it mentally with your powers of positive thinking, and consider partnering with a coach or mentor to tackle even bigger wins in the future.

Life becomes richer when you cultivate

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Life becomes richer when you cultivate a more diverse personal garden.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Carmen Meurer

Just as a garden thrives with varied plants, our lives flourish when we nurture diverse relationships, experiences, and perspectives.

A mono-culture of routine stifles growth, while intentional diversity — whether through new skills, unexpected connections, or stepping beyond comfort zones — unlocks hidden potential.

Consider the “seeds” you’ve planted.

Are they limited to familiar soil, or do they stretch into uncharted territory?

Growth often lies in the new and unexpected.

EXERCISE:

Identify one area of your life to diversify this week — it might be your work, a hobby, or a conversation topic with someone outside your present communities.

How do these efforts enrich your harvest?

Friday Review: Strategy

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Friday Review: Strategy

What are your strategies for success? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Procrastination is the thief of time. Collar him.”

 

 

 

 

“Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you.”

 

 

 

 

 

There are many paths to the same destination. When one path is blocked, we simply choose another. How many WAZE are available to you at this moment?

 

 

 

 

The problem with holding a grudge is

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“The problem with holding a grudge is that it makes your hands too full to do anything useful.”

—Seth Godin, American author and a former dot-com business executive

Image from Unsplash by Resume Genius

Where in your world are you holding a grudge? In what ways has it impacted your productivity and your most important relationships?

Did you know…

  • Grudges consume cognitive resources diverting focus from work tasks that require concentration.
  • Chronic resentment elevates stress levels and increases the risk of anxiety, depression and physical ailments like hypertension.
  • Emotional exhaustion from grudges lowers resilience and impairs problem-solving and creativity.
  • Grudge-holding often correlates with social withdrawal, hindering new relationships and deepening loneliness.

EXERCISE:

Letting go of grudges is an act of self-liberation. Acceptance, forgiveness, perspective shifts, and intentional boundary setting are some approaches to consider to free your hands for better things.

Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire

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“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”

—Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code

Image from Unsplash by M.T. ElGassier

Loss aversion is rooted in prospect theory, which indicates that people fear losses twice as intensely as they value gain.

Neuron-scientific evidence shows the brain’s amygdala reacts more strongly to losses which amplify emotional discomfort. These biases drive risk-adverse behavior such as clinging to familiar routines or avoiding investments due to fear of failure.

The pursuit of dreams is fueled by intrinsic motivation and self-determination theory which emphasizes aligning actions with personal values and autonomy. Although these kinds of actions foster self-actualization and long-term fulfillment, such efforts usually require confronting loss aversion’s gravitational pull.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you overcome the primal risk-averse response of loss-aversion and be more intentional and self-aware of your intrinsic motivation to realize far more of your desires?