Tag Archives: behaviors

“Habits are first cobwebs, then cables.

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“Habits are first cobwebs, then cables.”

—Spanish proverb

Image from Unsplash by Yuri Antonenko

When we first go about creating a new habit, we often find it difficult. The behaviors we hope to embody are fragile and are easily broken. Eating well, exercise, and even flossing can be fraught with all sorts of false starts and missteps.

When we try to break our bad habits, we also run into difficulties.

Impulse shopping, excessive media exposure, and various forms of overindulgence seek to grab us and hold us captive in their alluring grasps.

EXERCISE:

Create a list of your healthy and unhealthy habits.

Select one habit you wish to establish and one you intend to discard.

Consider reading or re-reading Atomic Habits by James Clear or The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg to optimize your efforts and likelihood of success.

Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

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Drink in each moment and savor them slowly.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mineragua Sparkling Water

To what degree do you race through your life?

Some ways to estimate your pace is to examine your driving habits or the time it takes to eat your meals.

Sometimes — if you are like many of us — you do both at the same time.

Driving fast and eating fast food are clearly not wise things to do.

If you have ever taken the Real Age test, you already know that these behaviors can reduce your biologic age to something below your chronological age.

EXERCISE:

Schedule a candlelit meal with your significant other.

Block out twice as much time as you usually do to sip and savor your meal and the time with this special person.

Where else in your life may you be missing the full flavors of life?

How could slowing down and drinking in more moments add more life to your years?

“Good habits exist despite circumstances.”

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“Good habits exist despite circumstances.”

—Rohan Rajiv, a Product Manager at LinkedIn

Image from Unsplash by Nubelson Fernandes

How true is today’s quote for you?

What habits do you stick with regardless of the circumstances?

Consider the areas of family, health, faith and your vocation. What tried-and-true behaviors occur like clockwork even when facing the winds of change?

Just as a sturdy tree can yield and bend with the breeze, our good habits act as roots that keep us upright and grounded regardless of the weather.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life do external circumstances make keeping your good habits difficult?

How can you shore up these best practices with greater discipline and grit to keep up your forward momentum whatever comes your way?

Before you try to increase your willpower

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“Before you try to increase your willpower, try decreasing the friction in your environment.”

—James Clear, Writer, Entrepreneur and Behavior Science Expert

Image from Unsplash by Sandeep Singh

In any new coaching engagement, it is very helpful to examine the personal, social, and structural supports that are already in place.

Better outcomes are unlikely without a significant degree of motivation, ability, and willpower.

Having the social support of friends, family, and colleagues provides both encouragement and accountability.

Structural support is often trickier in that environmental cues already in place often trigger old, entrenched habits that do not serve new behaviors and better results.

EXERCISE:

Explore James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits for more ideas on this subject, and his 1-2-3 Newsletter to get you thinking differently to create better results in many areas of life.

I also recommend the book Influencer — The Power to Change Anything for other strategies to decrease the friction in our environments.

Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act

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“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

—Leonard Cohen, late Canadian singer-songwriter

Image from Unsplash by Kyle Head

To what degree are you the person you want to be? Where do you see gaps that you wish to bridge in your personal or professional worlds?

Consider examining the lives of people you admire and respect within your various communities. What are others doing and achieving?

Examining the lives of people outside our communities and studying the biographies of remarkable people from the past can also provide clues to how we wish to live.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you begin acting in the way you would like to be?

What specific behaviors have been modeled for you by others, to guide you to act the way you would like to be?

Shape behaviors instead of shaming them

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“Shape behaviors instead of shaming them.”

—Sam Horn, CEO of The Intrigue Agency

Image from Unsplash by Lea L

How do you go about getting the things you want? How do you influence and persuade the people in your life to act in ways that you desire?

What are your current strategies and approaches with family members, neighbors, and your professional colleagues? As parents, grandparents, and other influencers of young impressionable minds, today’s quote is particularly relevant.

I recently attended an engaging webinar on Ethical Persuasion by Sam Horn, in which she introduced many practical and creative ways to gain attention and buy in to our ideas and intentions.

She shared what she called “words to lose” and “words to use” when we want to transform resistance into rapport. Here are just a few of her suggestions:

Words to Lose: but —should — you’ll have to
Words to Use: and — next time — If you would please

EXERCISE:

What are some of the words you use that are shaping or shaming the people in your life?

“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person — your behavior does.”

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“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person — your behavior does.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Matt Collamer

18th Century English writer, Samuel Johnson, once said, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Beliefs, values, and good intentions are simply not enough to improve our world.

Until values become virtues that manifest through committed action, things stay the same and can even regress.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life are you and others more talk and less action?

What issues are so important and urgent in your world that it’s time to leave the stands and get on the field with others in order to move things forward?

“Laws are never as effective as habits.”

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“Laws are never as effective as habits.”

—Adlai Stevenson II, 20th Century Governor of Illinois

Image from Unsplash by Unman Yousaf

To what degree do you see yourself as a law-abiding citizen? Take a moment to examine the laws and some of the “do’s and don’ts” that influence and govern your household, organizations, and communities.

How do you feel when any form of authority tries to enforce any particular law?

Given our current pandemic, how are you and others viewing social distancing efforts and the wearing of masks?

We all love our freedom and the ability to choose our own behaviors guided by our values. In groups and organizations that have empowering cultures, it is the sharing of these values and principles that guide the norms and habits of its members.

EXERCISE:

Where and how could you and others in your various communities be even more effective by encouraging better habits and enforcing fewer laws?

“Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.”

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“Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.”

—Wallace Stevens, 20th Century American Poet

Image from Unsplash by Delbert Pagayona

When I was a boy, one of my hobbies was maintaining a tropical fish tank with many varieties of brightly colored and various shaped species. In the early years, before they knew my level of commitment, my parents purchased a small set that included a ten-gallon tank.

As my interest grew, I graduated to more elaborate set-ups, which always involved a larger tank.

One thing I particularly enjoyed was that almost all fish species grew a bit larger in their expanded environments.

EXERCISE:

Examine some of the professional and personal containers in which you swim each day. How large is the container that supports your growth? Who are the individuals that influence your nature? What attitudes and behaviors do they exhibit?

Friday Review: Behavior

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FRIDAY REVIEW: BEHAVIOR

What do your behaviors say about you? Here are a few behavior-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full message:

 

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”

 

 

 

“Put your light on the table where it can shine, without blinding others.”

 

 

 

“Keep out of the suction caused by those who drift backwards.”