“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.”
—Richard Bach, American 1970s Author
Image from Unsplash by Leonardo Yip
During a recent trip out of the country for two weeks, my wife Wendy and I had very limited contact with our family. We did, however, travel with two good friends and a little over 700 other shipmates to explore Greece and Israel.
In addition to our fellow passengers, we were served and supported by over 400 staff and crew from over 40 countries.
To our delight and joy, we both experienced a new level of friendship and a genuine sense of a global family.
EXERCISE:
Where and how can you experience far greater respect and joy within your extended communities beyond your immediate family? What would be the value and impact of this expanded family bond in your life?
Although the smart phone is one of the most amazing devices ever invented, it does have a dark side.
Walk into any restaurant and you’ll see people out to eat as a family, yet tuning out of the experience by looking down at their phones, texting friends or scrolling through social media feeds. What does this mean in terms of the relationships and interpersonal communications that “make the world go round”?
In this YouTube video from Global Report News, we learn that those who are so deeply attached to their phone that they can’t turn it off no matter where they are or what company they are keeping, are less likely to be happy than those who can resist a ring or turn their phones completely off.
A Kent State University Study of 500 students showed that those who were avid mobile phone users suffered from higher anxiety, and their class work was inferior to those who were able and willing to switch off. The phone heightened their anxiety, and many felt obligated to keep in constant touch. I would expect the results to be similar, if not even more profound, if the study were replicated in the workforce.
What if you were to give particular attention today to how often the people around you tune out the rest of the world by focusing on their “magic box”? Great observation spots for this activity would be at the conference table, walking to and from a parking lot, during meals at restaurants or in your home, the library – even in houses of worship. What do you notice?
EXERCISE:
If you could have a meal with any fascinating person in the world – current, or historical – whom would you choose? How likely would you be to answer your phone in the midst of this meal? How would you feel if they cut you off to take a chatty, informal call? How can you become so interested and engaged that you would never think of of answering or checking your phone, without good reason, in the presence of another person?
“It is far more impressive when others discover your qualities without your help.”
—Miss Manners (Judith Martin), American journalist, author, and etiquette authority
Photo from Amazon.com
Someone wise once told me that if you say something nice about yourself it is bragging, yet if others say the very same thing about you, it is the truth!
In my years of coaching, I have seen that there is no single critical factor more important to the building and sustaining of relationships than a genuine interest in others.
Those individuals who focus on themselves and being interesting rather than interested tend to repel people in their professional and personal lives.
EXERCISE:
How can you channel your effort and attention in the genuine service of others without calling attention to yourself, and allow others, if and when appropriate, to acknowledge and appreciate your efforts?
Also consider heightening your own focus and awareness on the remarkable qualities of others. Don’t be surprised if they reciprocate!
