Build a Bridge

“Cry a river, build a bridge, get over it.”

—Author Unknown

Image from landscapesofunderstanding.com

Image from landscapesofunderstanding.com

For most people I work with as a coach, life is difficult, challenging, and often upsetting from time to time. Some are so stuck or stopped that they can hardly see any path forward.

During these times, feelings run high and the “emotional tension” they experience as part of their current reality must be acknowledged fully so they can cry the rivers that are appropriate. Only then can they collect themselves to realize that life goes on. Building bridges to the future is now the job at hand, to realize their resolve and get on the other side of life’s barriers and obstacles.

EXERCISE:

How can you fully acknowledge and experience all the emotions associated with some of your most significant challenges? How can you use that wisdom to garner the strength and capacities to build bridges and get over situations on your life journey?

Great Leaders

“Great leaders don’t blame the tools they’re given. They work to sharpen them.”

—Author Unknown

Image from comicbook.com

Image from comicbook.com

MacGyver was a very popular action adventure TV series in The United States and some other markets, from 1985 to 1992.

Resourceful and possessing an encyclopedic knowledge of the physical sciences, the main character solved complex problems by making things out of ordinary objects, using his ever-present, always sharp Swiss Army knife.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you make the most of the tools and resources available to you?

Where can you, as Stephen Covey might suggest, “sharpen the saw” of your abilities to be a MacGyver-like problem solver in your world?

“Sometimes, you just have to…”

“Sometimes, you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, and weather the storm.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

In recent weeks, I’ve met a number of people experiencing significant challenges in their professional and personal worlds. They were knocked down and kept down by death, illness, accidents, and other major life events. For some, many of these things were happening at the same time.

Those who weather the storms the best all mentioned that it was their faith, family, and friends that made these disturbing and often tragic life events bearable.

EXERCISE:

Where can you seek for yourself—or offer to others—a level of support to more successfully weather the storms of life?

Don’t try to keep up with…”

“Don’t try to keep up with the leaders. Lap them.”

–Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by William Murphy

Image from Flickr by William Murphy

Who are the leaders you most admire in your professional or personal lives? What makes them remarkable? What makes them stand out from the crowd?

These special people play an important role for many of us, in that they set the pace, or the bar, of achievement for those a bit further back in the pack. They can also set the proverbial “glass ceiling” for themselves, and those who almost never dare to look beyond.

EXERCISE:

What does “lapping the leaders” look like in your life?

What special talents and abilities can you tap into? How can you exceed your own expectations and set a new standard of excellence for what is possible for yourself?

“Every wall is another fence…”

“Every wall is another fence that thins the herd.”

-Darren Hardy, Publisher of Success Magazine

QC #849

Photo from dailycamera.com

If you enjoy physical challenges, check out the NBC reality show, American Ninja Warrior.

Contestants drop like flies as they attempt to move through a series of challenging and sometimes diabolical physical tasks across a difficult obstacle course.

Many of the courses include a “Warped Wall,” a 14-foot high obstacle that is quite daunting, and quickly thins the herd.

EXERCISE:

Examine the professional and personal walls you face each day. Where can you develop additional strengths and capacities, scale more walls, and “thin the herd” in your favor?

“The tiny seed knew…”

“The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to reach the light.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.scottthor.com

Image from www.scottthor.com

Today’s quote builds on the one about the mighty oak that once was a nut that simply held its ground.

Here, along with persistence, we must often accept and manage the dark, dirty, and difficult aspects of life. Eventually, we emerge into the light of becoming all that we can be, which can appear a bit “nutty” to us, and to others, along the way.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you more fully embrace the challenges and barriers that stand in the way of your sprouting and growing into a mighty oak of a person?

“People are like tea bags…”

“People are like tea bags. You find out how strong they are when you put them in hot water.”

—Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States of America

Photo from Flickr by Eric Jusino

Photo from Flickr by Eric Jusino

Other than water, tea is the most popular drink in the world—so popular that its consumption is equal to that of coffee, soft drinks, and alcohol, combined!

Most of us have experienced pouring a cup of hot water over a bag or two, and watching it release its flavor within a few minutes. If you are a bit impatient, you may have even tried dunking the tea bag up and down to release its flavor even faster.

EXERCISE:

Consider the challenges, obstacles, and barriers you are facing today in either your personal or professional life. See them as hot water that brings out your greatest strengths, and your capacity for personal excellence.

How will you share your cup of life tea with others? How might you offer a little “hot water” to others, to help them discover their own inner strength?

“You are no bigger than…”

“You are no bigger than the things that annoy you.”

—Jerry Bunden

Photo from addconsults.com

Photo from addconsults.com

How big and expansive do you feel in your life at this moment?

How easy is it to breathe deeply and stand tall?

How much freedom, independence, self-expression, and self-determination is present in your personal and professional life?

During a typical coaching session, clients often reveal aspects of their current reality that annoy and upset them. When I observe them sharing their thoughts and feelings on these matters, they almost always demonstrate some form of physical constriction or limitation in stature and personal power.

It is not uncommon to have these people describe how much better they feel and actually look when they have worked through these matters in our coaching discussions.

EXERCISE:

Create a list of your top professional and personal annoyances. Examine their impact. How, through your own efforts or with the assistance of a friend, family member, mentor, or coach, could you gain greater freedom and effectiveness in these areas, to lead a more fulfilling life?

“It’s during bad times that you..”

“It’s during bad times that you can tell if someone is any good.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Betsy Weber

Photo from Flickr by Betsy Weber

Take a moment to examine your personal and professional relationships. How many truly good people can you list, based on the quote above?

It is pretty easy to be friends with people when times are good and little or few demands are placed on us. When the going gets tough, fewer people step up and step in to help.

These special few, appearing like angels sent from heaven to help us when we stumble, hold a “sacred” place in our hearts.

EXERCISE:

What can you do today to thank and fully acknowledge these extraordinary people? Take a moment to consider how many people in your world would place your name on their list.

The greatest challenge you face

“The greatest challenge you face will probably not be the technical side of your job (your expertise), but rather interacting with other people.”

—Shirley Tayor, American author and Speaker

Photo from bolderlogic.com

Photo from bolderlogic.com

Over the years I have had the opportunity to work with a wide variety of clients. Here in southeast Michigan a sizable percentage of our economy is somewhat dependent on the automotive industry.

A fairly common assignment is to support the growth and development of up-and-coming leaders and managers. These assignments almost always include a focus on the softer skill of interpersonal communication, so important to producing greater results within and outside the organization.

It is for this reason than many experts in the fields of talent management, organizational development, and executive coaching insist that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is at least as important as IQ and technical expertise.

EXERCISE:

Assess yourself and those you work with regarding the technical and soft skills necessary to work optimally. Consider training and/or coaching to support yourself and others to maximize these important attributes.