Tag Archives: change

“Work hard in silence and let success make the noise.”

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“Work hard in silence and let success make the noise.”

—Anonymous

Image from Unsplash by Do Nhu

Prior to starting my coaching career over 30 years ago, I had a difficult time at my previous company. The organization was having financial challenges and realigning its workforce.

My marketing role at the home office was no longer secure, and I was left with the difficult decision to accept a demoted field assignment, requiring me to uproot my family in order to keep my employment.

With considerable soul searching and wound-licking, I was determined to put my head down and “Show Them” I still had it when many of my colleagues saw me as someone who didn’t make the grade.

With this resolve and grit, I silently went about my new job and became an acknowledged great performer, regaining my coworkers respect, and receiving an award voted on by my division.

Two months later I accepted a voluntary buyout, and the rest is history.

EXERCISE:

What are examples in your life in which you let your hard work and good results do the talking?

Where in your worlds would this approach be the way to proceed on an important issue today?

“What small step can you take today that will put you on the path toward something wonderful?”

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“What small step can you take today that will put you on the path toward something wonderful?”

—James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Hayley Murray

Each morning I take a three mile walk with friends from my neighborhood. Our time together usually involves discussing current events, our lives, and our various interests.

We unconsciously take the same 8/10ths of a mile circuit walking in a counter-clockwise direction.

Although we sometime comment on the state of our landscaping and repairs being made by our neighbors, the path we take is unremarkable, with the same inclines and curves we never seem to notice.

The other day one of our fearless leaders dragged the rest of us outside our development to visit a local park which provided a nice change of pace to the path we usually take.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life are you going in circles and not noticing anything particularly wonderful?

In what ways can you step off this path to investigate aspect of your world previously unexplored?

 

Alter your thinking about thinking

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Alter your thinking about thinking. Sometimes sitting with a question can expand your mind without always needing to find an answer.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Eugene Lagunov

A powerful question can act like a mind-altering substance. It can be a catalyst to help fire previously underused neurons and emit floods of neurotransmitters to help us think new thoughts.

Modifying our thinking on our own can be difficult. We are constantly bathing our minds with many of the same messages, 24/7. Consider relating this idea to Newton’s Law of Inertia which states:

“Every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force.”

EXERCISE:

What are some ways you can alter your current thinking?

What are some internal and external forces that can support you to change your life for the better?

What questions can you sit with that may help you in this effort?

The best way to change the world is in concentric circles

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“The best way to change the world is in concentric circles; start with yourself and work your way out from there.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Pablò

Whenever I think of concentric circles I see an archery target.

As a kid, I had the terrific opportunity to go to Camp Indian Lake in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania every summer.

Archery was a skill we all had the chance to experience. Drawing the bow and setting our sights on the bullseye was always the goal, and no one ever got hurt.

Today, the thought of giving a bunch of 10-year-olds bows and arrows seems pretty crazy!

As an adult, playing darts fits nicely in this concentric circle concept, where the spokes and areas beyond the bullseye come into play.

EXERCISE:

How can you change the world by applying this concentric circle idea to yourself and the world around you?

We live in an ocean of opportunity

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“We live in an ocean of opportunity. Being mindful of which waves to take will give you the ride of your life.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Jeremy Bishop

According to the U.S. Geologic Survey, there are over 332 million cubic miles of water on our planet.

Of this vast volume of water, NOAA’s National Geophysical Data Center estimates that 321 million cubic miles are in our oceans.

Waves on water are caused primarily by wind. If you’ve ever been on a boat or at the beach you’ve surely seen and felt their power.

EXERCISE:

What winds of change have you experienced over the past several years?

How have you embraced the abundance of opportunities all around you?

What support structures are available to help you travel toward new horizons?

It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it.

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“It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it.”

—Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist

Image from Vecteezy.com

Take a few minutes today to do a relationship review.

Closely examine the health of your most significant personal and professional interactions.

What word or phrase would describe the pattern of these engagements?

Where do you experience difficulties getting along and find yourself judging and being critical of others?

Most of us would love — from time to time — to have a magic wand to wave over others, to have them think and behave as we’d like.

Although we have no such power over anyone else, we do have the magic touch when it comes to our own ability to change ourselves.

EXERCISE:

Display Tuli Kupferberg’s quote, “When patterns are broken new world will emerge” in a well-trafficked place in your life.

What patterns can and will you break to have a new world of more successful relationships emerge?

“If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.”

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“If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.”

—Toni Morrison, late American novelist

Image from Unsplash by Farshad Rezvanian

The word surrender usually has a negative connotation.

It often points to weakness and being beaten by someone or something much stronger than us.

Much of the time, many of us find ourselves fighting for a just cause — or against some other adversary — when our visions and values are in opposition.

Even the wind, on occasion, has us leaning in against its force, to head in a direction we wish to go.

There are far more things in life that we do not control that the things we do.

Riding the winds of change like a hot air balloon — or adapting ourselves to the wind as in sailing — can still take us to beautiful places with peace, freedom, and delight.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently fighting the winds of change?

How would surrendering to these currents and letting them take you lead you to some wonderful places you never considered?

Trust your process preparation and gut

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Trust your process, preparation, and gut. Be willing to bet on yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Edge2Edge Media

Virtually all coaching relationships involve numerous types of transition. Although many of us resist change thrust upon us, we tend to seek out changes that align with our visions and values.

Given the events of the past few years, where might you be in the process of significant personal or professional moves? To what degree have these efforts prepared you to take the leap, confident that your bet on yourself is a good one?

EXERCISE:

Where is it time to place a bet on yourself knowing that your foundational efforts can be trusted?  Who are the people in your life that can and will support you to help guarantee you win?

the change was adjustment without improvement

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“…. the change was adjustment without improvement.”

—Toni Morrison, late American novelist

Image from Unsplash by Firmbee.com

Where have things changed in your life over the past couple of years? Where have some areas improved, stayed about the same, or regressed?

Coaching encourages people to control what is controllable and be willing to break old patterns so new and improved results can emerge. If improvement is not observed with various initial adjustments, what then?

Do we simply accept and adjust to our new reality or go back to the drawing board to devise a new plan with changed behaviors where success and improvements can occur?

EXERCISE:

Where would an “If at first you don’t succeed try, try again” strategy offer you the progress you seek? Consider the support of friends, family members, colleagues, mentors or coaches to support you in making the necessary adjustments.

To truly listen is to risk being changed forever

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“To truly listen is to risk being changed forever.”

—Sa’K’es Henderson, Native American elder

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

Theologian Paul Tillich said, “The first duty of love is to listen.” With this in mind, how much love have you shown others with your open ears and heart?

Perhaps you’ve noticed what might be called self-love, in that many listen more closely to their own inner voices than they do to others.

Most people would agree that being an excellent listener is critical to quality relationships and a happy life.

Unfortunately, we often talk a good game and even attend workshops and seminars on this topic only to demonstrate our desire to be more interesting rather than interested.

EXERCISE:

How open are you to being changed forever?  What rewards will be available when you bring a new level of love to your listening?