Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”

Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host, television producer, actress, and author

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

Wishing your past had been different is a wasteful pursuit.

What happened happened, and there is yet to be a time machine invented to undo what’s done.

Unfortunately, many of us hold on to the pains, regrets, missteps, bad breaks, and wrongs done to us, and can’t seem to let go.

Playing these events over and over in our minds is like running on the treadmill — you get all worked up, but don’t get anywhere.

Oprah suggests that forgiveness is a key to unlock the gates that hold us back from living lives with greater peace and freedom.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would forgiveness release you from reliving the past?

How would taking this courageous step help you move forward to live a more satisfying life?

“The heart is not a knee that can be bent.”

“The heart is not a knee that can be bent.”

—Senegalese proverb

Image from Unsplash by Willian de Oliveira

We live in two fifty-five and older senior communities — one in Pennsylvania, one in Florida. For many of us, the added trips around the sun come with various maladies — including conditions related to the wear and tear on hips, shoulders, and — given today’s quote — knees.

Some of the people I know have experienced many of these conditions on multiple occasions. What always inspires me are their courageous hearts, which have them face their challenges and continue to take each step to live as fully and meaningfully as possible.

EXERCISE:

How does your own courageous heart help you stand tall and steady when life tries to bend you over and knock you down?

“If you want to avoid criticism, create less. If you want to avoid irrelevance, create more.”

“If you want to avoid criticism, create less. If you want to avoid irrelevance, create more.”

James Clear, American writer and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Jason Strull

To what degree are you a creator?

What do you and have you offered others over the years, and what feedback have you received?

Consider all the assignments you were given throughout your school years. In most cases you didn’t have the option of saying No without significant consequences.

How about your offerings on a vocational level in which some authority figure sets out the objective to be pursued?

What impact does your perspective of how others view your work have on your willingness to offer examples with your own initiative as the catalyst?

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you withhold your creative efforts for fear of being criticized?

How would greater courage and a willingness to be vulnerable allow you to champion more of your ideas to make a bigger impact on the world?

Don’t let finish line anxiety keep you from ever crossing the starting line.

“Don’t let finish line anxiety keep you from ever crossing the starting line.”

Stephen St. Amant, author of the Savenwood Blog

Image from Unsplash by Joshua Hoehne

Many of life’s races have no specific timeline. Although we often have preconceptions that they exist, we can come to realize that many of them are just made up.

What will be accomplished and by when is often of our own choosing.

Even with this awareness we frequently fail to start because of some false milestone and game plan set by outside forces.

EXERCISE:

How can your most important commitments supersede your comfort to remain in the starting blocks of life?

How will you summon the courage to begin and run your own race?

“It is not too late to do what you want to do — If you stop waiting for the time to be right.”

“It is not too late to do what you want to do — If you stop waiting for the time to be right.”

James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Angelina Litvin

A major focus of many of my coaching engagements is assisting people in professional and personal transitions. Many are highly accomplished, and yet never feel ready to step into the unknown.

The need for one more seminar, degree, or other form of outside acknowledgement rarely quells the not-ready-for-prime-time player in them.

Perhaps readiness is simply a myth that we only discover once we begin.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life are you fearful that it is too late to do what you want to do?

How will you summon the courage to step into the unknown and discover your readiness once you begin?

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life.”

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life.”

T.S. Elliot, 20th Century poet, essayist, playwright, literary critic and editor

Image from Unsplash by Patrick Tomasso

What makes a good day a good day? What makes a good life a good life?

Take some time to filter a typical day through the lenses of being useful, showing courage, and contemplating beauty.

If you do, you will likely feel a sense of wholeness and warmth inside. I’d bet that you may also be smiling and have a twinkle in your eyes upon this reflection.

EXERCISE:

Today’s quote was shared by Tim Ferris as a nugget of wisdom he was recently pondering.  Consider exploring other works by Tim and T.S. Elliot to enrich your life.

As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life

“As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life, we must move with courage through the wall of flame into the greater sea.”

Mark Nepo, poet and spiritual adviser

Image from Unsplash by dan carlson

Where and when in your life did you last demonstrate significant courage? What are some examples of facing your fears and jumping into an unsettled sea?

Today’s quote does not suggest we risk life and limb as proof of courage, but does  suggest that we should welcome the heat, and test the waters of our days more often.

What are some current situations in which you are experiencing the flames of fears?

When in the past did you step through such flames, standing taller on the other side?

EXERCISE:

To what degree is your current level of courage putting you on a course to fulfill the vision you have for your life?

When can and will you step up and over the edge of your fears to realize far more of your potential?

 

Our minds put limits on what we can and will do

Our minds put limits on what we can and will do. Acknowledge these inner voices and do these things anyway.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Nadine Shaabana

A colleague once told me that in almost all situations what stops us in life is stopping.

Before our bodies stop moving, however, comes a warning message from our brain. It warns us to stop for various reasons that can often be refuted upon a more objective review.

When was the last time your mind told you to slam on the brakes?

How valid were your reasons for stopping?

What was gained—or perhaps more importantly—what was lost by not proceeding in your efforts?

EXERCISE:

Where has F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) stopped you recently?

How can you courageously override some of these signals and give things a go when life and limb aren’t on the line?

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

Seneca the Younger, ancient Roman philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

In the past, I had a much different view of the word courage. I reserved it for men and women in uniform, explorers, famous leaders, and of course, superheroes.

Today, with a bit more awareness, compassion, and empathy, I see countless acts of courage in almost everyone I meet and get to know.

Examining the big and little challenges people face on a daily basis, I am amazed that so many have the resolve to get up and get going even with the heavy burdens they bear.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you observe quiet—and often hidden—acts of courage?

How and in what ways can your offer support to lighten the loads of others in your communities?

Lest We Forget

The September 11, 2001 attacks—commonly known as 9/11—were four coordinated Islamist suicide terrorist attacks carried out by al-Qaeda against the United States. Here are some quotes for your consideration on this important date.

Image from Unsplash byAidan Bartos

“If September 11th has taught us anything, it’s certainly that the world has never been so interdependent. It is impossible to be an island of prosperity in a sea of despair.”
Bono, Singer and activist

“If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.”
—Dandy Dahl, wife of United flight 93 pilot, Jason Dahl

“For me and my family personally, September 11th was a reminder that life is fleeting, impermanent, and uncertain. Therefore, we must make use of every moment and nurture it with affection, tenderness, beauty, creativity, and laughter.”
Deepak Chopra, Author

“Even the smallest act of service, the simplest act of kindness, is a way to honor those we lost, a way to reclaim that spirit of unity that followed 9/11.”
Former President Barack Obama

EXERCISE:

How will you honor this date? What kindnesses and acts of service can and will you offer in the spirit of unity today?