Tag Archives: decisions

Relationship over Ego

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“Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong, and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.bizjournals.com

Image from www.bizjournals.com

I distinctly remember my first argument with my wife Wendy, during our first year of marriage. Our dispute centered on how to wash dishes. The bottom line for me, at the time, was that she was clearly doing it wrong. I had evidence to make my case to anyone who took a logical approach to things.

To make a long story short, I slept (or should I say didn’t sleep?) on the couch that night.

In the morning, Wendy shared a nugget of wisdom that I still remember and use today:

“Are you more committed to being right, or being related?”

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways are you making those you care about wrong? Where would an apology demonstrate that you value your relationship more than your ego?

“The life you have led doesn’t…”

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“The life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.”

—Anna Quindlen, American author and journalist

QC #788photo from www.lionsroar.com

One of my favorite movies is Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray. I always laugh as he lives February 2nd over and over again.

Through countless chances, he tends to make many of the same mistakes over and over, which leaves him in the same place as the previous day.

Eventually, he learns that his future can be altered for the better.  By choosing actions that are consistent with his commitment, he takes new and better actions that lead him to a different future, where in the end, of course, he “gets the girl.”

EXERCISE:

Take the time today to examine the life you have lived and determine what you wish to continue and what you wish to change. Select a close friend, family member, mentor, or coach to examine what you discover. Consider developing a plan over at least 90 days, to make the coming years more fulfilling and remarkable.

“Whatever you want to do…”

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“Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

—Michael Landon, American actor, writer, director, and producer

Image from Twitter.com

Image from Twitter.com

If you were born today and knew you would live to be 82 years old, you would have approximately 30,000 tomorrows. That you are an adult reading this post means you probably have a fairly large number of yesterdays behind you.

Many of us get caught up in the daily flow of life where weekends and vacations become the primary times we do more of what we want to do. Doing the things we love each and every day of the week, including our vocations, enriches our lives and the world even more, bringing a new level of growth and satisfaction to all of our “tomorrows.”

EXERCISE:

Create a mini professional and personal bucket list just for this week or this month. Take Michael Landon’s coaching and get started immediately.

Feel free to comment on this post or email me with the actions you are taking.

“Change Before You Have To.”

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“Change before you have to.”

-Jack WelCh, retired chairman and CEO of General Electric

Click on the image to order from Amazon.com

Click on the image to order from Amazon.com

The current U.S. unemployment rate is in the area of 5.5%. Given the numbers from the past 5 – 7 years, this is a vast improvement.

Despite the multiple thousands of available jobs, many organizations are experiencing tremendous difficulty finding qualified individuals for the positions they have open.

What might the unemployment rate be if every open position were filled? What would it take for people to be qualified for such careers?

Unfortunately, because people can be resistant or reluctant to change, many discover that their previous “valuable” skills are either less valuable, or considered irrelevant in the current business world. Technology, outsourcing, and off-shoring are three factors among many that contribute to the elimination of many positions that were once considered good jobs.

The classic little business book, Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson, M.D., points to this all-too-frequent occurrence, which is now happening at unprecedented speed.

EXERCISE:

How can you embrace and proactively generate the needed changes in your skills and abilities to not only remain relevant, but to be uniquely qualified and highly desirable for the jobs of the future?

Where can and will you change and evolve in your personal life to keep up with and stay attuned to the world around you?

“Instead of wondering when…”

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“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”

-Seth Godin, American author, entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker

photo from addictedtosuccess.com

photo from addictedtosuccess.com

The point of today’s quote is the main reason I am a coach today. Over 23 years ago, when I was working in sales and marketing for a well-known pharmaceutical company, I realized my inner voice was saying things like:

  • Thank God it’s Friday!
  • I don’t want to wake up and go to work!
  • When will this be over?
  • I can’t wait to go on vacation!
  • Oh, No! Monday is coming!

Of course, I’m being a bit dramatic. Still, as many as 70% of working professionals feel and say similar things to themselves and perhaps to others in their lives.

EXERCISE:

Should you see yourself or others in the thoughts above, find the courage to challenge yourself to redesign your life and career. You may find yourself looking forward to getting home from vacation, so you can get back to the exciting life you have designed.

Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of assistance. Write to me at: barry@dempcoaching.com

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face…”

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“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”

—Author Unknown

QC #742

Today’s quote reminds me of an excellent little book by Seth Godin titled “The Dip.” The subtitle is: “A little book that teaches you when to quit and when to stick.”

Godin believes that winners quit quickly, often, and without guilt, until they discover the right DIP, worth beating for the right reasons. They realize that the bigger the barrier, the bigger the reward for sticking and getting beyond it.

He further demonstrates that people who lose fail to stick out their DIPS when they quit at the moment of truth—or they simply never discover the right DIP to conquer.

EXERCISE:

Consider picking up a copy of “The DIP” to discover for yourself whether you should stay the course or summon the courage to quite sooner or more often.

Never Quit

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“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

—Douglas MacArthur, American five-star General and Field Marshal

My Dad, Marvin Demp

My Dad, Marvin Demp

I recently spent some time with my extended family in the Philadelphia area, due to the passing of my brother-in-law Arthur. One benefit of this sad time was the gathering of everyone to celebrate his remarkable life and to reconnect with one another.

During this time we visited with family from the age of one  – little Noah –  to my dad Marvin, age eighty-eight. Some of the discussions we had related to the changing phases in all of our lives, including a few wrinkles, an extra pound or two, and a little more grey hair.

I was delighted to see everyone still fully engaged in life — not a wrinkled soul in the bunch!

Exercise:

How can you stay fully engaged in your life, avoid wrinkles of your soul, and remain forever young – no matter what your age?

Is the juice worth the squeezing

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“Is the juice worth squeezing?”

– folk Proverb

Image from webstaurantstore.com

When she was a child, my mother lived in an apartment above the fruit store her father managed. She would sometimes help him polish the apples and display the fruit as engagingly as possible to attract customers.

Have you ever bitten into a shiny apple, only to find out that what was inside was mushy? You would never use such apples for juice.

Exercise:

Look at your own life as a fruit basket of people and experiences. Where are you putting your efforts? Is the juice of your life worth the squeezing?

 

Follow Your Heart

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“When at a conflict between mind and heart, always follow your heart.”

– Swami Vivekananda, Hindu monk

How do you make decisions? Do you come to them through logic, or check in with your gut? Do they make sense or do they feel right? Are you a head or heart decider?

Many people use both, and enjoy knowing that something is consistent with their core values as well as meeting the criteria of logic and critical thinking.

What if these two types of thinking are in conflict? How often have you been faced with such a conflict in your personal or professional life, and how successful have you been in making such decisions?

Exercise:

Where could increasing your emphasis on your heart’s decisions increase your success and satisfaction?