The one thing I love most

“Sometimes I think that the one thing I love most about being an adult is the right to buy candy whenever and wherever I want.”

—Ryan Gosling, Canadian Actor and Musician

Image of a bowl of Halloween candy

mage from Flickr by Sean Freese

 

Looking back to my childhood, Halloween was perhaps my favorite holiday. The process of selecting our costumes to be hand-made by mom, and the pillow cases we used to collect our booty, still brings a fond smile.

In those years, we went out early and stayed out pretty late, and it was common to head home to drop off a load of the sweet stuff and head back out for more. That night, and for a few short weeks after, we had the freedom to eat our fill and not hear “No!” too often.

This freedom to choose our actions was something I cherished and it has been a core value of mine ever since.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you experience even more of the sweetness of life by embracing and exercising the personal freedoms we sometimes take for granted?

Doing what you like is freedom

“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.”

—Frank Tyger, late American Editorial Cartoonist and Humorist

Image of an elderly couple sitting on a bench

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Bennett

I am often asked by my contemporaries when I plan to retire. I’ve been coaching for 26 years, and find myself only a handful of years away from collecting Social Security and qualifying for Medicare. I love what I do. The idea of a traditional retirement has very little appeal.

I have, however, observed many people my age pining for the freedom to do their own thing and escape the daily grind of “working for the man,” or simply not enjoying their vocations.

Upon retirement, some individuals find their freedom isn’t always associated with the happiness they expected.

EXERCISE:

As you pursue your personal and professional objectives and purpose, how can you find freedom and happiness by doing more of what you like, and liking more of what you do?

The Safest Way to Double Your Money

“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.”

—Kin Hubbard, 20th Century American Journalist

Image of folded hundred dollar bills

Image from Fight4Survival

For many people, money represents freedom, independence, security, and peace of mind. The topic of money can cause all kinds of trouble, and often has great impact on our relationships.

The simple advice to “make more and spend less” doesn’t always cut it, and we often find ourselves continually stressing over our finances.

As we age, many of us begin to appreciate more fully the saying, “The best things in life are not things.” We begin to look closely at how we spend our time, not just our money.

EXERCISE:

Where might taking “The Best Things in Life are Free” approach help you gain greater pleasure and allow you to pocket a bit more of the freedom, independence, security, and peace of mind you desire?

economize or agonize

“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”

—Confucius, ancient Chinese Philosopher

Image of rocks balanced on a plane

Image from LinkedIn

Over many years of coaching, I’ve noticed several interesting trends.

In general, my clients in their twenties, thirties, and forties are most often on a highly intentional growth trajectory. They want to build wealth, pursue success, and increase their standard of living. This almost always involves accumulating possessions, and often increases the demands and complexity of their lives.

As they reach their fifties, sixties, and seventies, they seem to be more focused on scaling back, simplification, and greater balance. It is often because their many years of living in the fast lane, carrying too much stuff and stress, has become more of a burden than they care to shoulder going forward.

EXERCISE:

Where would a “less is more” strategy, regardless of your stage of life, provide you the added freedom and peace of mind you desire?

If You Want to Be Free

“If you want to be free, learn to live simply.”

—John Heider, The Tao of Leadership

Image of a bird on a wire, with today's quote

In the last few months, I have posted several times regarding minimalism and essentialism, which point to the value and freedom associated with a simple life.

What areas of your world would benefit most by slowing down, paring back, downsizing, or even eliminating completely? Explore this list as possible places to start:

Relationships Career Media Consumption Diet
Wardrobe Living/Working Environments Schedule Health & Spiritual Practice

EXERCISE:

What one action can and will you take (or stop taking) to gain a bit more freedom in your life?

Consider making this exercise a daily practice and let me know what you discover.

“Liberate yourself from the need to be right.”

“Liberate yourself from the need to be right.”

-Seth Godin, in “Unleashing the Ideavirus”

Photo from Flickr by Jamison Wieser

Photo from Flickr by Jamison Wieser

Have you ever been in a prison? I hope not. Freedom, and the desire for it, is a fundamental value shared by people throughout the world. Unfortunately, many of us are trapped to some degree in self-generated prisons.

In today’s quote, Seth Godin says the need to be right, and thus making others wrong, imprisons us in a world of judgement and dysfunctional relationships at work, at home, and within our communities. You’ve probably heard the phrases, “Dead Right,” or “Dead Wrong” applied to people in your world. Just watch the evening news to see how this thinking has generated some of the domestic and global issues facing us today.

What I observe personally and professionally is that these behaviors exact a very high price in our relationships and our organizations.

EXERCISE:

Consider the following questions as you go through your day, with the intent of liberating yourself from the insatiable need to be “right”:

  1. What is my inner voice saying about the situation I’m facing?
  2. Are my thoughts supportive or critical?
  3. How open and receptive am I to what others are saying?
  4. What value or goodness can I find in their words?

By diligently applying this exercise, and agreeing to bring these practices to others in your world, you can virtually guarantee yourself a new level of life satisfaction.