“Is your default setting to defend your limitations of expand your possibilities?”

“Is your default setting to defend your limitations or expand your possibilities?”

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Jan Canty

Defending one’s limitations can be a comfortable trap!

It’s easy to stay within our perceived boundaries, but this mindset stunts our growth and potential.

On the flip side, expanding our capabilities can be challenging and uncomfortable. It pushes us outside our comfort zone and forces us to confront our fears.

The rewards for pushing beyond our perceived limits are immeasurable.

By embracing a growth mindset, we open ourselves to new opportunities, experiences and personal development.

There are enough barriers and obstacles in our outer world.  Why would we ever consider compounding these by setting and fighting for our own?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Mindset by Carol Dweck.

This foundational book introduces the concept of fixed and growth mindsets, showing how beliefs about our abilities impacts success.

Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Morgan Bryan

As I reflect on my journey as a coach, I’ve come to realize that Life’s “no’s” often offer the most valuable lessons. These moments of rejection or failure can be transformative if we approach them with curiosity and openness.

By embracing the “no’s” we can refine our strategies, build resilience, and discover new opportunities. In my book The Quotable Coach, Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom and this blog, I often emphasize the importance of turning setbacks into stepping stones.

Learning from Life’s “no’s” is not just about overcoming obstacles — it’s about growing into the best version of ourselves.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out William Ury’s book The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes for ways to apply this strategy for success in many areas of your life.

The trouble with having an open mind

“The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

Sir Terence David John Pratchett OBE, late English author, humorist, and satirist

Image from Unsplash by Hal Gatewood

Over the years, I’ve seen the power of an open mind, but also its pitfalls.

While embracing new ideas can foster growth, it can also lead to distraction and lack of grounding. An overly open mind might stray from established principles, causing confusion and undermining progress.

It’s essential to keep a balance to remain receptive yet grounded, ensuring that new ideas and insights enhance, rather than disrupt, our core values and goals.

Just as when you put on a new piece of clothing or a pair of new shoes, consider taking a “Try It On” approach to make sure any new information or idea fits with who you are and who you want to be.

EXERCISE:

In what ways would greater discernment regarding keeping an open mind benefit your life?

Where would a “Try It On” approach aid you in making better choices and taking more effective actions in your life?

Life becomes richer when you cultivate

Life becomes richer when you cultivate a more diverse personal garden.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Carmen Meurer

Just as a garden thrives with varied plants, our lives flourish when we nurture diverse relationships, experiences, and perspectives.

A mono-culture of routine stifles growth, while intentional diversity — whether through new skills, unexpected connections, or stepping beyond comfort zones — unlocks hidden potential.

Consider the “seeds” you’ve planted.

Are they limited to familiar soil, or do they stretch into uncharted territory?

Growth often lies in the new and unexpected.

EXERCISE:

Identify one area of your life to diversify this week — it might be your work, a hobby, or a conversation topic with someone outside your present communities.

How do these efforts enrich your harvest?

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

Alan Watts, 20th Century British/American writer, speaker, philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Richard Burton

We recently attended a good friend’s 90th birthday party. The big event included about 75 close friends and family from far and wide. Besides children, grandchildren, and a few members of the younger generation, the majority of attendees were well into their senior years.

Along with a delicious buffet, they had a DJ playing tunes from the past, and a photo montage of our friend from the days of his youth until today.  It was remarkable to see how he and most of the audience remembered every word to these songs and to see how in many ways he continued to evolve during the milestone moments of his life. We have already been invited to his 100th celebration, in which — I am sure — he will be an even more remarkable guy than today!

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you continue to learn, grow, and evolve with each passing day? How can you be an even more intentional work in progress as you step into the future you?

What we need is a new model of growth

“What we need is a new model of growth that emphasizes sustainability.”

Thomas L. Friedman, internationally renowned author, reporter, and columnist

Image from Unsplash by KOBU Agency

The three primary elements of sustainability are people, planet, and profit, often referred to as “the triple bottom line.” These pillars represent interconnected dimensions of sustainable development.

The focus on people emphasizes fair business practices, employee rights, community well-being, and social equity. This pillar involves creating healthier, more livable communities and ensuring equal opportunities.

The focus on our planet involves minimizing negative environmental impact by reducing waste, using resources efficiently, protecting biodiversity, and adopting green technologies. The goal is to meet current needs without compromising future generations’ ability to meet their own needs.

The focus on profit ensures financial stability and growth while considering environmental and social costs. This pillar involves responsible resource management, transparent accounting, and creating long-term economic value.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do and can you apply the “triple bottom line” like a tripod to create a more stable and sustainable world now and for many generations to come?

When we do our best to support others,

When we do our best to support others, be careful to not limit the struggles that can enhance their growth and transformation.

—Calm App Reflection

Barry teaching Ella to use chopsticks

My granddaughter has taught me some valuable lessons over the past year that have improved my coaching efforts.

When we play together, I’ve noticed how often I take the initiative to help her with a particular task and on many occasions, she would coach me by saying “Ella Do!”

Although watching her struggle in many of her efforts can be difficult, it’s very joyful to see her tackle something new with a big smile, noting that she did it herself.

EXERCISE:

Where do you handicap those around you by carrying their load or reducing their struggles?

How might a better strategy to help them become stronger and more capable involve letting them do more of the heavy lifting?

How are you challenging and stretching your capabilities

How are you challenging and stretching your capabilities? Put yourself to the test to expand your growth potential.

—Calm App Reflection

Barry and Ella

Our granddaughter Ella is an exuberant and expressive little girl.

She looks up to her six-year-old brother and wants to do whatever he’s doing, and more. She has little or no fear and abruptly objects whenever anyone tries doing things for her.

When it comes to buckling her car seat, peeling a mandarin orange, going on an amusement ride, or eating with chopsticks, she’s always up for the challenge.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways are you challenging and stretching your capabilities?

Where can and will you put yourself to the test with greater exuberance and realize more of your growth potential?

 

You have not grown too old, and it is not too late

“You have not grown too old, and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out its own secret.”

Rainer Maria Rilke, 20th Century Austrian poet and novelist

The other day a friend asked who was my audience for The Quotable Coach blog. My off-the-cuff response included people looking to live more meaningful lives and those looking to learn, grow, and pursue greater wisdom.

As with many bloggers, we only get a small glimpse of who actually reads our work. We rarely get to see the impact we intend and just hope that it does. I know for sure that the process of writing is definitely valuable to me even if no one else digs into the nuggets being offered.

EXERCISE:

If you are a loyal or even an occasional reader of this blog, please consider replying with a brief note about yourself and let me know why you invest a minute of your day to see what may be there for you.

Thank you.

A vision is not just a picture of what could be

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

Rosabeth Moss Kanter, professor of business at Harvard Business School

Image of the Methuselah Pine, from wikimedia.org

Did you know that many of the oldest and largest living things on the planet are trees?

The current record-holder for an individual, non-clonal tree is a great basin bristlecone pine from California, called Methuselah.

Through tree-ring cross referencing, it has been shown to be almost 5,000 years old.

Imagine yourself as this tree, living for five millennia.

Think of its skyward vision and continuous growth to become something more with each new branch and leaf.

EXERCISE:

What are some of your most powerful visions?

How do they appeal to your better self and call you to grow and become something more?