“I am more distress-avoidant than I am joy-seeking.”

“I am more distress-avoidant than I am joy-seeking.”

—Malcolm Gladwell, Canadian journalist, Author, and public speaker

“Creative Tension” is a term coined by Robert Fritz in his book The Path of Least Resistance from the late 1980s.

Essentially, it describes the tension that exists between our perception of our current reality and our vision for the future. Fritz points to the desirable and attractive nature of a committed vision, which draw or pulls our reality closer to it.

A common example of this phenomenon is the TGIF (Thank Goodness It’s Friday) approach many people experience as they look toward the weekend. Unfortunately, this concept also applies to the less desirable future which many people experience Sunday night if the prospects of Monday morning are experienced with apathy or dread.

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you more joy-seeking than distress-avoidant in your personal and professional lives? What actions can and will you take to intentionally design more positive experiences in the days, weeks, and years ahead?

All the Joy I Can Wish

“I wish you all the joy I can wish.”

—William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice, Act II, Scene 2

Boys jumping in a field

Image by Robert Collins on Unsplash

With the holiday season upon us, and the new year just ahead, Shakespeare’s wish feels quite appropriate.

Take some real time to reflect on the people, things, and experiences that bring you joy and reach out to those you love with extra hugs and the kind words we often neglect.

EXERCISE:

How and where can you share Shakespeare’s wish of joy throughout your communities this holiday season, and all year long?

“One of the sanest, surest and…”

“One of the sanest, surest and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.”

—Robert A. Heinlein, American Science Fiction Author

Photo from Flickr by Barbara Mazz

Photo from Flickr by Barbara Mazz

Do you like Chinese food? I do.

I must admit that in addition to enjoying the wide variety of tastes, textures, and aromas of Chinese food, I also enjoy the little ritual at the end of the meal. Yes, I very much look forward to opening my fortune cookie.

Imagine, for a moment, that all your future fortune cookies are “good fortune” cookies, and that not only do you get benefit from the one intended specifically for you, but you also get a boost of happiness from those of your dining companions.

EXERCISE:

How can you bolster your own life satisfaction by experiencing the added joy and fulfillment through the good fortune of others?

#99: “Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.”

– Henry George Bohn, British publisher

There is a good reason why we are social creatures. We simply live and survive better when we are part of a community. Our friendships tend to be very intentional in their ability to move us forward in life.

Have you ever noticed that successes are far sweeter when celebrated with friends and family? How much better do you feel when you experience sadness, disappointment and grief in the company of others, versus going it alone?

Exercise:

Which friends multiple your joy and divide your grief? How can you show them your gratitude?

Who in your life today would benefit from your special friendship?

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