Choices are the hinges of destiny

Posted on March 13, 2017 by Barry

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.”

⏤Edwin Markham, 20th Century American Poet

Image from Flickr by Fred Faulkner

In the book The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz warns us that more is less, and that our abundance-based culture often robs us of our satisfaction in life.

Imagine yourself in a room with a few dozen doors. You are told that some will lead to great opportunities, others to places far less desirable, maybe even dead ends.

All too often, we are looking outside ourselves to what others or society tells us are the best choices. And yet, we are frequently dissatisfied, because by comparison there is always something better⏤or at least we think so.

EXERCISE:

How might you use your most deeply held values and beliefs to design and open the doors you are meant to open? Your destiny hinges on it.

Discover the Truth

Posted on December 19, 2016 by Barry

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is to discover them.”

—Galileo Galilei, 17th Century Italian astronomer & philosopher

Image from Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory

What makes something real or true? Many would agree that perception is reality, and the mental models and paradigms we create throughout our lives lock in what is true for us.

The process of coaching emphasizes the examination of these views and perspectives. It supports far greater awareness and promotes the discovery that enhances their desired outcomes.

EXERCISE:

Where and on what issues would you benefit most from a coaching process to more fully discover your most important truths?

How things should be

Posted on November 15, 2016 by Barry

“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”

—John M. Shanahan, author of Hooked on Phonics

image from consciouslifenews.com

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I teach my clients to coach themselves, with a technique I call The Pivot Point. The first part of this tool is to help my clients assess the “current reality” of the situations in their lives.

The challenge for most, at the beginning, is that they often believe that their perception of reality is shared by everyone around them.

EXERCISE:

How open are you to the possibility that the people in your personal and professional worlds perceive “reality” quite differently than you?

When the Student is Ready

Posted on January 19, 2016 by Barry

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

-Gautama Buddha, on whose teaching Buddhism was founded

image from kevingcook.com

When people say, “perception is reality,” they often mean that the way we perceive something makes it real. What if we don’t perceive an issue, challenge, or lesson to be learned, simply because it is invisible to us?

As a student, we must first see a situation and determine that there is value, opportunity, or benefit in it. Only then is there the potential to hear the teacher and see how they might assist us in understanding the lesson.

EXERCISE:

Where are you stopped or stuck in your life? Where are your efforts to move forward being thwarted? To whom could you go with the challenge you face, to determine your readiness and receptivity to the lesson?

“I wonder how many people…”

Posted on June 18, 2015 by Barry

“I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.”

-John Steinbeck, American Author

Image from differencebetween.info

What is the difference between looking at something, and truly seeing it?

Whether it’s a painting or a person, my sense is that the differences can be great or small, considering the circumstance.

Great art, and in the case of today’s quote, the art of relationship creation and sustainability, requires a level of mastery seldom available to the paint-by-number novice.

EXERCISE:

Where can you place the time and effort to gain the depth of connection, cooperation, and collaboration you desire in your professional and personal lives, through more seeing and less looking?

“Traveling: it leaves you speechless, then…”

Posted on June 10, 2015 by Barry

“Traveling: it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”

—Ibn Battuta, 14th century Moroccan explorer

photo from goodreads.com

One of my favorite books by Dr Seuss is Oh The Places You’ll Go, often given as a gift to high school or college graduates as they step into their life journey.

For many of us, this sense of adventure and excitement wanes as we settle into our day-to-day lives, work, and other more routine responsibilities.

Perhaps this is why most of my coaching clients have travel, adventure, and fun as things they want more of as they move forward. We simply want more WOW moments that leave us speechless. When we tell these “wow” stories, they often ignite the flame in others, causing them to more fully experience life, too.

EXERCISE:

Where have you longed to travel? Find someone who has actually been there – or perhaps a few people – and let their stories ignite a spark in you. When you make your plans and go yourself, consider what stories you will share that would benefit others.

“Travel and change of place…”

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Barry

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.”

-Seneca, Roman statesman & tutor to Nero

Photo from Flickr by Eelke de Blouw

Traveling in Europe was a learning smorgasbord. I did all I could to taste the variety and abundance of its offerings, including:

The variety of languages	multiple currencies
Jaw-dropping architecture	Local customs & traditions
Music & art	Great food and drink
Business & commerce	Politics & religion
The natural beauty & history of the region

As an American, I was shocked at how my mental models and perceptions of the world have limited me and kept my world reasonably small. As a business and personal coach, I plan to take the blinder off, in particular with my coaching colleagues who live beyond my doorstep.

EXERCISE:
How can you more fully benefit from your own travels and change of place to experience greater vigor in your journey of the mind?

“People don’t take trips. Trips take people.”

Posted on June 4, 2015 by Barry

“People don’t take trips. Trips take people.”

—John Steinbeck, American author

Photo from Flickr by EBImagery

The calm riverboat cruise my wife Wendy and I took down the Danube was a trip of a lifetime, providing us lots of time to reflect on our lives. Of particular interest was how this journey took us back in time to visit the lives of people who lived hundreds and even thousands of years ago.

We were accompanied by 136 fellow passengers from around the world, who generously shared their friendship and bits of their lives with us as we toured a number of cities, sharing good food and conversation.

EXERCISE:

As you enter the summer months, how can you more fully embrace the places you visit? What can you do to look beyond the surface and experience these adventures more completely?

“Life is like a road trip…”

Posted on May 18, 2015 by Barry

“Life is like a road trip. Enjoy each day, and don’t carry too much baggage.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Georg Sander

When I first met my wife Wendy almost forty years go, she would often tell me stories of her family’s famous road trips. Her mom, dad, and two sisters would spontaneously jump into their station wagon and head off to places unknown. Each passenger had their turn at directing the driver, telling them to continue on the current road, or to turn right or left.

When they got hungry, they would discover places to eat. When they got tired, they found places to rest. They often traveled with only the clothes on their backs, and little else.

EXERCISE:

How can you live today as if you were on a road trip? What can you do to enjoy it to the max, taking little or no real or mental baggage along for the ride?

“I would like to travel..”

Posted on May 8, 2015 by Barry

“I would like to travel the world with you twice. Once, to see the world. Twice, to see the way you see the world.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Nilanjan Sasmal

The majority of my coaching clients would include travel as one of their core values. They want to see and experience more of the world with the precious time they have left. To some extent, they have a bit of regret that they haven’t made a bigger dent in their bucket lists.

Have you ever noticed how much joy and excitement is experienced when a baby is born? Perhaps it is because this new life allows all of us—especially the new parents and grandparents—to start a new life “adventure” with a child who is seeing the world for the first time.

EXERCISE:

How can you be far more intentional in your efforts to see and experience the world, and at the same time, double your pleasure by looking through the eyes of those who share the adventure?