Tag Archives: relationship

Where and when is it time to walk away from things not meant for you?

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Where and when is it time to walk away from things not meant for you?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kelli McClintock

When we’re young it seems like we have all the time in the world to do whatever we like. Wasting time was clearly for the older set and their efforts to be responsible and productive.

As we age, it appears that many of us get the message, and we begin examining how we spend our precious time becomes a much higher priority.

Just as you would not continue eating a buffet item you didn’t care for, walking — or even running — away from people and things that don’t suit your tastes seems a wise choice to feed and fuel us moving forward.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal and professional life would it be wise to stop engaging with people and pursuits clearly not meant for you?

Who Can You Give the Credit to

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“Who can you give the credit to, before you take some for yourself?”

—Michael Bungay Stainer, Founder of Box of Crayons

Image of Jim Collins

Harry S. Truman once said, “You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit.”

The classic book, Good to Great by Jim Collins supports this idea as a critical characteristic of what he calls Level 5 Leadership. Collins found, through extensive research, that the focus on the success of others rather than on one’s own contributions and accomplishments were key attributes for those who achieved breakthrough results.

EXERCISE:

Who in your professional or personal communities has earned and deserves far more credit than they are currently given? When will you recognize and reward their significant contribution – today, and on an ongoing basis?

 

He Who Trims Himself

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“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”

—Raymond Hull, Canadian Playwright and Lecturer

Image of a person whittling on a piece of wood

Image from Unsplash by Nathan Lemon

In the best selling book, Give and Take by University of Pennsylvania professor, Adam Grant, we learn the pros and cons of being a “giver.”

Grant divides givers into two groups:

The first group have high other-interest and low self-interest. This can work against their giving nature; they burn out, or as put in today’s quote, whittle themselves away.

Conversely, the group Grant calls “other-ish,” maintain high self-interest along with high other-interest. This keeps them on an even keel and provides optimal results for themselves and others.

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully maintain your own self-interest and well-being while generously contributing to others in your professional and personal worlds?

“She was too deep for…”

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“Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end.”

-A.J. Lawless

Image from ripplecentral.com

Image from ripplecentral.com

Most of us are familiar with the stories of prospectors digging for gold or other precious gems, and know that these valuable resources are rarely found at the surface. We must dig deep into the earth to claim them.

The same is true if we wish to reap the rich rewards of deep and meaningful relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Scratching the surface with limited attention virtually never creates the respectful, trusting, and soulfully satisfying relationships we all desire.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom can you explore and pursue a deeper, more meaningful relationship in either your personal or professional life?

Love the Giver

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“Love the giver more than the gift.”

-Brigham Young, founder of the Latter Day Saints

QC #965Years ago, I read The Five Love Languages to enhance my relationship with my wife Wendy. I still recommend this book to coaching clients who wish a better understanding of their partners. The gist is that there are different ways to show love. We almost always choose to show love in the way we like to receive it.

By tuning into the offerings of others, we can embrace their gifts in the way they are intended, instead of missing the message because we are not speaking the same love language.

EXERCISE:

How could you fully love the givers in your life by embracing every gift they have to offer, in the love language that fits them?

“A true friend never gets in your way…”

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“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

– Arnold H. Glasow, author

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Do you know who your true friends are? Today’s quote presents a bit of a test to help you identify the good ones. These are the people who support us in living our best lives and stand for us being all we can be.

At the same time, they are also the people who are there during life’s challenging and difficult times to lend us a shoulder to lean on – or carry us completely when things are at their darkest.

Exercise:

Thank the friends around you for being there in both good and difficult times, and while doing so, look within yourself to see how you stack up as a friend to others.

“A friend is a loved one…”

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“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”

– John O’Donohue, poet, philosopher and Catholic priest

QC #1016a

Someone once told me that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That puts friendships in a very special category of relationships.

One of the key attributes of our friends is that they are tuned into our personal life frequencies. We are far better together than apart.

Exercise:

What are two to three areas of your life that need to be awakened? What would you consider to be a wild possibility in these areas?

Who are the friends that bring this special spark to your life, and how can you be this kind of friend for others?