Tag Archives: Relationships

Life becomes easier

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“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

—Robert Brault, American Freelance Writer

meme of "I'm Sorry"

We all recognize that life can be difficult at times. Take a few moments and look into your past, to a time when someone wronged you, personally or professionally. Examine all the details of this event to see if it still has any grip on you, especially if you never received a proper apology.

For many people, reliving such events in their minds can be particularly upsetting and painful, even if the occurrence happened years or decades ago.

EXERCISE:

How could you make your life easier and travel lighter by developing the talent to accept apologies you never received?

The World Must Learn to Work Together

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“The world must learn to work together, or finally it will not work at all.”

—Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States

Image of a team

Image from OD4pic

As part of my preliminary discover process, two of the questions I use to determine the potential value of a coaching relationship are:

  1. What is working and going well in your personal and professional life?
  2. What is not working or going as you wish in your personal and professional life?

Based on the answers provided, a customized coaching relationship can be used to support going from good to great, or from not good to substantially better.

Perhaps no single factor impacts these areas more than the ability to create mutually trusting relationships and work toward common objectives.

EXERCISE:

Given the state of the world and specifically your worlds, what efforts and actions can and will you take to work more effectively and successfully with others?

Behave toward everyone as if receiving a great guest

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“Behave toward everyone as if receiving a great guest.”

—Confucius, Ancient Chinese teacher and philosopher

Image of Disney's Beauty & the Beast

Image from Disney Movies

I enjoy Disney movies – how about you?

My favorite over the last few years is Beauty and the Beast. A highlight of the animated and live actor versions is the “Be Our Guest” extravaganza.

Imagine how special and delightful it would be with the extraordinary level of service, attention, and delicious morsels of food offered at such an event.

EXERCISE:

How would your personal or professional world improve if you were to treat each and every one as a great guest you held with the highest regard?

Walking with Giants

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“A man has dreams of walking with giants. To carve his niche in the edifice of time.”

—Mr. Banks, in Disney’s Mary Poppins

Image of Mary Poppins flying over the city

I first saw Mary Poppins in 1964. I was seven years old. It was a cold, snowy day. Mom and I took several buses into downtown Philadelphia, to stand in line for the big event.

This technicolor miracle of Disney magic had people buzzing for weeks. Beyond the special effects was a heartfelt story of exceptional characters. Today’s quote by George Banks, the family patriarch in the film, is powerful coaching for young boys and girls, as well as the older generation.

EXERCISE:

What are your dreams? What niches are you carving? What giants do you walk with? How will you leave your mark on the edifice of time?

What efforts can and will you make in the years ahead to make an even bigger impact on the edifice of time?

Peace is not made at the council table

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“Peace is not made at the council table or by treaties, but in the hearts of men.”

—Herbert Hoover, 31st President of the United States

Image from Flickr by Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy, University of Michigan

Image from Flickr by Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy, University of Michigan

In the movie, Miss Congeniality (2000), Sandra Bullock plays an undercover FBI Agent posing as a contestant when terrorists threaten to bomb the Miss United States beauty pageant. Bullock’s character, Gracie, is the only female FBI agent who can “look the part” despite her complete lack of refinement and femininity. She prides herself in being “just one of the boys” and is horrified at the idea of becoming a girly girl.

Since the film was a comedy, the audience wasn’t alarmed. We all happily watched all the interplay of contestants and other characters. In one scene, the contestants were asked about their personal goals and aspirations. Almost every contestant mentioned world peace at some point in their response.

In today’s dynamic and often violent world, we sure could use more people working on world peace in their personal and professional lives. If all of us did our part, we would never need a council table or treaty, which as President Hoover points out, rarely works.

EXERCISE:

What heartfelt attitudes and actions can you share in your communities to bring about greater peace on earth?

before borrowing money from a friend

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“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.”

-A Farmers Almanac Philosofact

Image of hands trading money

image from The Storage Facilitator

If you are a fan of Shakespeare, consider the advice Polonius provides to his son Laertes in Act I, Scene III of Hamlet:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend.

What has been your experience with such matters? Where did things work out just fine, and where did things go wrong?

How do these sayings influence your point of view and perspective on being generous and helping others in need?

EXERCISE:

Consider responding to this post with your thoughts or perhaps discuss your view on this subject with a friend.

You see but you do not observe The distinction is clear

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“You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.”

⏤Sherlock Holmes, A Scandal in Bohemia

Image of Sherlock Holmes and Mr. Watson

image from BBC

Do you enjoy a good mystery? You know, tales of intrigue with twists and turns, and a wise individual who uses the power of perception and deduction to discern who done it from all sorts of information?

Most of us fall a bit short of identifying all the clues we need to solve the mysteries of life.

Take, for instance, the mysteries of our most significant relationships with a spouse or life partner. On may occasions we really do seem to be from different planets!

EXERCISE:

How can you expand your capacity to observe your world like Sherlock Holmes, to see the people and events around you far more clearly?

They invented hugs to let people know

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“They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything.”

-Bil Keane, American Cartoonist, author of The Family Circus

Image of LOVE statue

Image from Flickr by Jan Karlo Camero

On this Valentine’s Day, let’s imagine we are from Missouri—the “Show Me” state—where actions speak louder than words.

In his book The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman states that only one of the languages actually says anything. The other four ways to show our love are:

  • Spending quality time
  • Receiving and giving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch, including hugs

EXERCISE:

How can and will you say and demonstrate your love for the special people in your life, this Valentine’s Day, and every day to come?

Consider picking up a copy of Chapman’s important book, to become more masterful at demonstrating your love to others.

Friday Review Relationships

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FRIDAY REVIEW: RELATIONSHIPS

We have many different relationships in life. Here are a few relationship-related posts you may have missed. Click the links to read the full message.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

 

 

 

 

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

 

 

 

“Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we’ve touched.”

 

 

 

 

Still Say No

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“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say NO.”

-Author Unknown

Image of man with bullhorn

image from drdavidgeier.com

‘NO’ is one of the most important and powerful words in our language. At home and at work, we use it to protect ourselves, and to stand up for the things and people that truly matter to us.

The word ‘NO,’ used incorrectly, can also destroy what we value the most, by alienating and angering people.

In his book “The Power of a Positive NO,” William Ury—a top Harvard Professor—shares his secret to saying ‘NO’ without destroying our most important and valued relationships.

EXERCISE:

In addition to purchasing his book, please check out Professor Ury’s TED talk about the walk from ‘NO’ to ‘YES.’