Raise Your Words

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Barry

“Raise your words not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers not thunder.”

-Rumi, 13th-century Persian poet, theologian, and Sufi mystic

Image from www.stuckindc.com

A fundamental conversation I have with each new coaching client involves the qualities and characteristics of effective leaders.

The characteristics describing effective leaders include: visionary, passionate, inspiring, empowering, service-oriented, having integrity, and being approachable. The words these leaders use to speak about their views of a better future are like the rain to a flower. They help people and organizations grow.

Alternatively, we have all seen the “Thundering Taskmaster” types who repress and suppress those around them and often create environments of fear, intimidation, and retribution.

EXERCISE:

What can you do to be the kind of leader that attracts followers by raising your words rather than your voice?

A Little Help

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Barry

“I get by with a little help from my friends.”

—Lennon & McCartney, co-founders of The Beatles

image from crwi.wordpress.com

About a month ago, my wife Wendy and I had an opportunity to attend a Beatles tribute concert. As members of the Baby Boom Generation, it definitely took us on a trip down memory lane.

Of particular note were some of the quote-worthy lyrics by the Beatles, including today’s message. In a way, I think they were actually understating the extraordinary value provided by our most cherished and genuine friends.

EXERCISE:

How can you do far more than simply “get by” with a little help from your friends? In what ways can you return this gesture in kind?

ThanksGiving

Posted on November 26, 2015 by Barry

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My Thanksgiving is perpetual.”

—Henry David Thoreau, American author, poet, and philosopher

Thanksgiving is a United States holiday celebrated every fourth Thursday of November since Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of “thanks-giving and praise to our beneficent father who dwelt in the heavens,” in 1863.

Thoreau’s quote suggests a value 365 times that of this single November day, coaching us to embrace and express the gratitude and thanks we can experience and express on a daily basis.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you be perpetually thankful to help yourself and others in your communities live a more full and richly rewarding life?

Make yourself worth knowing

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Barry

“Don’t worry so much about knowing the right people. Just make yourself worth knowing.”

–Author Unknown

A number of years ago I read a book by Dr. Wayne Baker from the University of Michigan titled Achieving Success Through Social Capital. A key take-away from this well-researched book was that, without question, relationships are valuable.

We have all heard phrases such as, It’s not what you know, but who you know, that counts, pointing to the power of being connected to these centers of influence and super-connectors. One challenge with the advent of social media and the huge demands it puts on our time is that getting to know the “right people” can be difficult.

Today’s quote suggest that instead of the old push or pursuit strategy to meet these individuals, we instead work on ourselves to attract and pull people to us and the value they perceive we provide.

EXERCISE:

What one or two qualities or abilities could you more fully develop in yourself to make yourself an even more desirable person worth knowing?

Appreciation

Posted on November 13, 2015 by Barry

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

—Author Unknown

Image from jewishfed.org

Who doesn’t want to live an even more full and abundant life? We have all heard the statement that we can have virtually anything we want in life, we just can’t have everything. We must be prepared to make certain trade-offs. To have more of this or that we need intentionally to have less of something else. If we choose to start something new we often must stop something else.

A caveat to this thought involves exercising our appreciation muscles, so the excellence that surrounds us each day is available whenever we wish.

EXERCISE:

How can you expand your capacity to appreciate the riches and wonders of life all around you, to lead an even more full and abundantly rewarding life?

Leading the Pack

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Barry

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.fanpop.com

Today’s quote makes me think of the times my clients state that a colleague, coworker, or client “threw them under the bus.” In almost all cases, they say it was in an unfair, unjust, and detrimental way.

Blaming, bullying, one-upmanship, and office politics are common occurrences. How we respond to such attacks, and how we rise above their potential negative impacts is a skill which we could all benefit from time to time.

EXERCISE:

A book that I have read numerous times over the years – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – points to fundamental ideas that can help us all return, leading the pack, when we are thrown to the wolves. They are:

Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best

“Be brave enough…”

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Barry

“Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.”

—Author Unknown

QC #889

One of my favorite and most recommended books on effective communications is titled “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott.

The word “fierce” can be defined as robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled – all of which point to the impact the conversation can make if held with positive intent and mastery.

The problem on many occasions is that most of us avoid such conversations due to the fear that often accompanies high-stakes situations.

EXERCISE:

Where is it necessary in either your personal or professional life to summon the courage to have more fierce conversations?

Consider reading and studying Scott’s book to tackle tough challenges, tap into your deep aspirations, and enrich the relationships that matter most in your life.

“Life always offers you…”

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Barry

“Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called ‘tomorrow.’”

-Author Unknown

image from xoombi.com

I’d like you to consider reading today’s quote twice.

Consider for the moment that today is one of the most important days of your life. Everyone important to you watches intently as you give it your all. If you are also a spiritual or faith-based person, know that your “higher power” is paying close attention as well.

Fast forward to the end of the day. Review the quote again and reflect on how you lived your day and the difference you made. Answer the question in today’s exercise before you head off to sleep.

EXERCISE:

What second-chance efforts will I make tomorrow, based on what I discovered and learned today?

“I thank you for your…”

Posted on October 22, 2015 by Barry

“I thank you for your part in my journey.”

-Author Unknown

Image from xoombi.com

The words “Thank You” are magical. They have brought more joy, happiness, satisfaction, and smiles to the world than most of us can imagine. In my youth, our parents, teachers, and community influencers taught us to say “please” and “thank you.”

Over the last decade or so, I’ve noticed these daily courtesies diminishing – perhaps due to the increasing pace of life. Many of us are increasingly overwhelmed by the demands and stresses to keep up or stay ahead. We often rationalize that we simply “don’t have the time.”

EXERCISE:

What is the cost to you and those around you when we don’t offer and receive quite as many “thank you’s” throughout the day as we used to?

What benefit would you see if you made it your job today to offer your most heartfelt “thank you’s” and gratitude to those who have helped you on your journey?

“As I unclutter my life, I free…”

Posted on October 20, 2015 by Barry

“As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul.”

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

Image from Flickr by Megan McMillan

We are entering fall here in Michigan; winter will soon arrive. With the change of season, many people begin spending a bit more time indoors due to the reduction of daylight and, of course, the colder temperatures.

Some people experience lower energy, reduced motivation, and a general hunkering-down at this time, awaiting the next spring. A possible remedy for such feelings and renewal of the soul could be, as Dr. Dyer suggests, an “uncluttering” project.

EXERCISE:

Examine some of the areas of your life that could benefit from considerable uncluttering and simplification. Consider your physical space, your personal and professional relationships, your use of technology, and even cognitive noise that affects us all.

What inside work will you do to better aid you in pursuing the inner calling of your soul?