“Although we are responsible for…”

Posted on June 16, 2015 by Barry

“Although we are responsible for our own happiness, having a friend who opens more doors than we close is truly one of life’s greatest blessings.”

-Author Unknown

photo from ilicoreleadership.org

If you happen to believe the adage, “No man is an island,” today’s quote is for you. In virtually no area of human achievement do you see any great, overwhelming examples of the “Lone Ranger Approach” succeeding in the long run. And come to think of it, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto by his side.

EXERCISE:

How can you further your own happiness journey by fostering better, deeper, and more satisfying personal and professional friendships? Where can you be an even more valuable friend and blessing to others?

“A journey is best measured in…”

Posted on June 1, 2015 by Barry

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.”

—Tim Cahill, travel writer

QC #787

In early May, my wife Wendy and I celebrated forty years together and 36 years of marriage by taking a river cruise along the Danube between Passau, Germany and Budapest, the capital of Hungary. We’ve taken many other cruises over the years. What made this one special—beyond each other’s company—was that there were only 136 other passengers, and about 40 crew members.

One of the most pleasant surprises was the number of friendships we made with this intimate group of fascinating people from around the globe.

EXERCISE:

Who are the friends in your world that have made your life journey meaningful and rewarding? How can you continue your journey with a greater emphasis on using the development of close, caring friendships as a measure of a meaningful life?

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”

Posted on May 22, 2015 by Barry

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”

—Dale Carnegie, American writer and lecturer

Photo from Flickr by Mini Cooper

Few among us have not experienced a bee sting at some point in our lives.

Honey bees are gentle by nature, and can be found in almost all urban and rural environments. Only when we disturb their gentle worlds do we find ourselves at the end of their stingers.

It is in our best interest to care for these important creatures because of their role in our environment and food supplies.

EXERCISE:

How can you gain greater sweetness from life from the people in your professional and personal worlds by taking a more gentle and nurturing approach in your daily interactions?

“It’s during bad times that you..”

Posted on April 6, 2015 by Barry

“It’s during bad times that you can tell if someone is any good.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Betsy Weber

Take a moment to examine your personal and professional relationships. How many truly good people can you list, based on the quote above?

It is pretty easy to be friends with people when times are good and little or few demands are placed on us. When the going gets tough, fewer people step up and step in to help.

These special few, appearing like angels sent from heaven to help us when we stumble, hold a “sacred” place in our hearts.

EXERCISE:

What can you do today to thank and fully acknowledge these extraordinary people? Take a moment to consider how many people in your world would place your name on their list.

“Surround yourself with people who…”

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Barry

“Surround yourself with people who make you hunger for life, touch your heart, and nourish your soul.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from lovetoknow.com

Over the years I have repeatedly heard that each of us is a close reflection of the five people with whom we spend the most time.

If this is true—or at least somewhat accurate—examine your five most prominent personal and professional relationships to see how they make you hunger for life, touch your heart, and nourish your soul.

One way to progress in this area is to give the same support back to those five people, simply because you can. By making such an investment in others, I hope you will discover the wondrous gift of reciprocity that will leave you with even more than when you began.

EXERCISE:

Share this quote with at least one person in your personal and/or professional life. Please share with them your sincere desire to contribute to their life. Be prepared to let them know how to best support you when they ask.

The greatest challenge you face

Posted on April 1, 2015 by Barry

“The greatest challenge you face will probably not be the technical side of your job (your expertise), but rather interacting with other people.”

—Shirley Tayor, American author and Speaker

Photo from bolderlogic.com

Over the years I have had the opportunity to work with a wide variety of clients. Here in southeast Michigan a sizable percentage of our economy is somewhat dependent on the automotive industry.

A fairly common assignment is to support the growth and development of up-and-coming leaders and managers. These assignments almost always include a focus on the softer skill of interpersonal communication, so important to producing greater results within and outside the organization.

It is for this reason than many experts in the fields of talent management, organizational development, and executive coaching insist that EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is at least as important as IQ and technical expertise.

EXERCISE:

Assess yourself and those you work with regarding the technical and soft skills necessary to work optimally. Consider training and/or coaching to support yourself and others to maximize these important attributes.

“There comes a time when you have to stop..”

Posted on March 10, 2015 by Barry

“There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump puddles for you.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Paul Jerry

No subjects come up more often in my work as a coach as relationships and interpersonal communication. I always encourage my clients to be sincerely interested in others, listen fully, and of course, allow others to fully express their ideas and opinions.

When the focus on others and being a “giver” is not reciprocated, when we cross oceans for those who won’t even jump a puddle for us, a one-sided, often toxic relationship ensues, leaving us feeling empty, frustrated, and many times, resentful.

EXERCISE:

Examine your personal and professional life to see if any of your relationships are one-sided. If so, consider whether it is time to start or stop crossing oceans.

“Patience is the Companion of Wisdom.”

Posted on February 20, 2015 by Barry

“Patience is the Companion of Wisdom.”

—St. Augustine, early Christian Theologian

Photo from Flickr by Thomas Mues

When was the last time you watched a great leader give an inspiring speech? If you are like me, you occasionally enjoy a provocative TED Talk. The TED tagline is “Ideas Worth Spreading.”

Over the years, I’ve seen that the best leaders and presenters talk a bit more slowly than most. They measure their words carefully, to achieve the impact they desire. As I listen to them, I find myself slowing down, and leaning in to hear every morsel of wisdom they present.

EXERCISE:

Where would greater patience, and slowing down your busy life help you contribute and capture the wisdom of the moment?

“Eating an artichoke is like…”

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Barry

“Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well.”

—Willi Hastings (attributed)

Photo from Flickr by sterotyp_0815

I have never prepared or eaten an entire artichoke, only the hearts from a can or those marinated in a jar.

Hasting’s statement peaked my curiosity and I wondered, “How difficult could this be?” If you are like me, you simply go to your favorite search engine and query the universe.

I learned that there is an eleven-step process to preparing and eating an artichoke. If the process is not followed closely, you could experience considerable digestive challenges, and problems with your garbage disposal as well.

How is eating an artichoke like getting to know someone really well? If you truly wish to get to the heart of another and develop a close, quality relationship, it takes time, patience, care, and attention to detail.

EXERCISE:

Examine the relationships you hope to make or take to a new level, professionally or personally. How would a patient and somewhat methodical approach yield the lasting, substantial relationships you desire?

“Are you working to connect the dots or…”

Posted on February 2, 2015 by Barry

“Are you working to connect the dots or merely collecting more dots?”

—Seth Godin, Author

Photo from www.connectedaction.net

What is your favorite form of social media? If you go in order of popularity, the usage looks something like this:

Facebook has about 1.23 billion users
LinkedIn has about 332 million users
Twitter has about 284 million users

Please don’t respond saying my numbers are wrong, as they aren’t relevant to the point of this post.

Do you know how many friends, connections, or followers you have on each of your social sites?

Without question, the internet and social media have brought about amazing changes, making our world more connected and noisy to the point, for some, of addictive engagement.

Godin’s question asks if we are collecting friends or followers like dots, or are we truly looking to genuinely connect and contribute to other people’s lives.

EXERCISE:

Examine your skills, abilities, gifts, and talents that contribute to those on the other side of the monitor or mobile device. Consider that if you create something truly remarkable, you will likely have your very best friends and followers connecting the dots with you.