Tag Archives: Relationships

You don’t get harmony when everyone sings the same note

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“You don’t get harmony when everyone sings the same note.”

—attributed to Doug Floyd

Image of two women playing guitar and singing while sitting on a curb

Image from Unsplash by Fotografia.ges

Do you enjoy music? Perhaps you play an instrument or two. Other than trying my hand at the drums in grade school, I realized quite quickly that I was more satisfied listening to it rather than playing it.

Recently, I was watching a Netflix program called “Explained” on the subject of music. I was amazed to learn just how much I did not know about its workings. Beyond the notes were additional concepts of which I knew little, including pitch, timbre, melody, and rhythm. Combining them all in the appropriate amounts can have us tapping our toes, caught up in its harmonious magic.

EXERCISE:

Consider your professional and personal communities. Where and how does variety and diversity of thought and capabilities provide for greater levels of harmonious achievement and success?

Their opinion of your potential has nothing to do with your opportunity to prevail

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“Their opinion of your potential has nothing to do with your opportunity to prevail.”

—Brendon Burchard, High Performance Author

“What others think about you is none of your business” is a thought to consider, particularly when being judged harshly.

Consider your parents, teachers, bosses, and friends, and see how many of them sapped you versus zapped you over the years.

Unfortunately, many of these usually well-intended folks leave a negative wake and plant bitter seeds that can dramatically impact our self-worth and confidence.

EXERCISE:

Who are the negative, unsupportive, and even toxic people in your world that could be avoided?

Where and in what ways can and will you find the determination, grit, and tenacity to prevail in your most important priorities?

Consider working with a coach, mentor, or friend to support your efforts.

A man’s pride can be his downfall

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“A man’s pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.”

—Bear Grylls, British Adventurer

Image of Bear Grylls

Image of Bear Grylls from DailyExpress

If you were to look up the phrase “rugged individual or adventurer” on the internet, you would likely see a photo and description of Bear Grylls.

He served in the British army, trained in unarmed combat, desert and winter warfare, survival, climbing, and parachuting. He is also noted for his numerous expeditions, including:

  • Climbing Mount Everest
  • Circumnavigating the United Kingdom on a jet ski
  • Crossing the North Atlantic in a rigid inflatable boat
  • Climbing remote and “unclimb-able” peaks in Antarctica

Although much personal attention has created his celebrity status, he points out most vividly, with today’s quote, that in virtually all cases, his successes involved and were dependent on the support and guidance of others.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life have you been going it alone to achieve what you desire? Where and on what matters it is time to more fully embrace and yes, request the assistance of others in your various communities?

Check out Grylls’ Wikipedia page, and note how many of his accomplishments include many other people backing his efforts.

A simple Hello could lead to a million things

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“A simple ‘Hello’ could lead to a million things.”

—Author Unknown

Image of hands holding up pink balloons spelling "hello"

Image from Unsplash by RawPixel

I see a very kind woman most mornings at my health club. Her name is Pat, and her primary job is to swipe each person’s membership card as they enter the facility.

I know her husband’s name is John, and that she, like me, has a passion for books and reading. Perhaps what is most notable is that she welcomes each person with an authentic ‘Hello!” and a pleasant glance, which in turn generates a reciprocal greeting and kind words from almost everyone.

On days Pat is not at the front desk, the greeting ritual is far less likely, with the front desk person and most of the patrons going through an almost robotic entrance.

EXERCISE:

Where could a few more Hellos, Good Mornings, Pleases, and genuine Thank You’s lead to millions of wonderful things to brighten the day? How can you be more like Pat in your personal and professional communities?

The better you know yourself

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“The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.”

—Toni Collette, Australian actress and musician

Image of "Soul Experience" book cover

Image from Amazon.com

If you were to rate yourself on your ability to create and sustain relationships, how would you score?

Take a look at your most closely held and cherished relationships and see what values and beliefs connect you to those people. The better you truly know and live these core values the better you can choose and navigate in your personal and professional communities.

This inner wisdom can help you better lead yourself and others who resonate with similar energies.

EXERCISE:

Consider reading the book Soul Experience – The 4th Level of Identity, by Al Killeen, to help you get to know yourself better.

Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart

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“Never close your lips to those to whom you have opened your heart.”

—Charles Dickens, 19th Century English writer & social critic

Image of a man and woman in a coffee shop

Image from rawpixel on Unsplash

The alchemy of relationships, particularly close, caring relationships, is very special. Things like trust, respect, cooperation, and love aren’t so easily captured and kept in good repair.

One way to keep and enhance these heartfelt relationships thriving is to place considerable value and time in open and authentic dialogue, in which each party wishes to forward the relationship and the other individual.

When disagreement and conflict occur it is not the time to withdraw and slip into silence. This form of silence can be a death blow to a previously heart-warming relationship.

EXERCISE:

What current personal or professional relationship is most in need of open dialogue to keep and expand the open-heart feelings that may be slipping away?

If You Blame it on Someone Else

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“If you blame it on someone else, don’t expect it to get better.”

—Author Unknown

Blaming and making others wrong is like a black hole in the world of relationships. Nothing good ever comes out of it.

Unfortunately, we each view the world through our own perceptual filters. On many occasions, our views do not agree or align with others. This is not bad in itself, except that we often go a step further to prove our point or to undermine those who think and do otherwise.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you reduce or eliminate playing the blame game, personally or professionally, to improve your life?

It is easy to sit up and take notice

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“It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.”

—Al Batt (humorist)

image from Unsplash by William Iven

How active are you on social media? How many hours do you spend observing and interacting with the folks in your personal and professional communities?

What percent of your time is spent on content consumption, where you sit up and log into other people’s efforts?

What percent of the time are you getting up and taking action to create content and move the needles in your worlds?

EXERCISE:

Where would shifting the percentages from consumption to production cause others to sit up and notice, perhaps even taking greater action in their own lives?

No One Agrees With Others Opinions

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“No one agrees with other people’s opinion. They merely agree with their own opinions expressed by somebody else.”

—Sydney Tremayne, Canadian Stock Investment Strategist

Image of man holding placard saying "Ask the right questions"

Image from FlightJobs

How would you like to be a more masterful leader and have far greater influence in your professional and personal relationships?

For this to occur, it requires less of you and more from others.

Have you noticed that virtually everyone is far more interested in what they are thinking than in what you may be saying? Being interested rather than interesting can be just the strategy to discover their opinions and leanings on any topic. Their perspective and beliefs can point you to the areas where they can be more easily led and influenced.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom can you tap into the opinions and beliefs held by others, to significantly increase your current levels of leadership and influence?

You Must Look Into People as well as at Them

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“You must look into people, as well as at them.”

—Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, 18th Century British Statesman

Image of a man on the beach staring into space

Taking a sincere interest and seeking to fully understand the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of another could be one of the most important things we can do to change the world around us.

How many of your problems and life challenges – not to mention those of the world – are due to breakdowns in relationships and communication in general?

How often do you find yourself or someone else engaged in surface observations of others, with a critical or judgmental perspective? How does doing so diminish the relationship qualities including respect, trust, and cooperation?

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you look more deeply into the people in your professional and personal life, to change your world for the better?