It’s how you act when the situation isn’t optimal that makes the difference

“It’s how you act when the situation isn’t optimal that makes the difference.”

James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Thought Catalog

When everything runs smoothly, anyone can shine. But when life throws you curve balls — plans collapse, mood dips, or people disappoint — your true character steps forward.

The moments you least want to show up are the very ones that define you. It’s not about pretending all is well — it’s about choosing grace, focus, and purpose when things aren’t.

Most people wait for ideal conditions to bring their best. The rare ones bring their best because conditions aren’t ideal.

That’s what sets them apart.

Growth doesn’t happen in comfort; it happens in resistance. So, the next time life gets messy, remember —the world is watching who you become when it isn’t easy.

EXERCISE:

What are some examples where people in your life came back from setbacks, faced multiple rejections, or simply persevered though hardships?

How can these examples motivate and inspire you to act more boldly when the situation isn’t optimal?

Where do you experience the flow of life without interference

Where do you experience the flow of life without interference? Go there when you wish to feel the sensation of effortless effort.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Mathew Schwart

How often do you feel you are swimming upstream, against the current? Where in your personal and professional life do you experience the greatest resistance to your best intentions and efforts?

What strategies and approaches are helpful when you feel you are about to go under?

With these examples in mind, shift your mental and emotional compasses 180 degrees to some of the effortless flow states you’ve experienced in the past.

EXERCISE:

Envision yourself as an eagle or another majestic bird soaring on the warm updrafts of air from their surroundings.  How can you revisit this and other sensations of effortless effort when the world gets you down?

“The path of least resistance is a terrible teacher.”

“The path of least resistance is a terrible teacher.”

Ryan Holiday, American author and host of the podcast The Daily Stoic

Image from Unsplash by Taylor Flow

Look back on your life and consider your most impactful teachers.

Which of them left a lasting impression where — even today — you still refer to their lessons?

How often do you recall wanting to be challenged and stretched versus going for that easy “A”?

In today’s convenience-centric world, the goal most often seems to focus on maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain.

What has this approach taught us and how has it weakened our spirits and resolve?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Robert Fritz’s book, The Path of Least Resistance to see what it has to offer.

Feel free to let me know your top take-aways as you wrestle with this concept.

“No man steps in the same river twice.”

“No man steps in the same river twice.”

—Heraclitus, Ancient Greek, pre-Socratic, Ionian philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Roma Ryabchenko

When you examine the pace of change in your life, what do you see?

When you look at your various communities, where do you notice small, subtle changes? Where are the tectonic shifts far more noticeable?

Just as a river changes its flow and its course over time, our lives are always flowing from one day to the next. To fight or resent such change is like grabbing a handful of air.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently upset and angry about the course of your life?

Where are you trying to paddle upstream against the currents of change?

How can and will you instead step into the new river of each day, embracing and influencing your journey?

 

“Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?”

“Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?”

—Author Unknown

Image of a guy in bed early morning

Image from Unsplash by Julie Johnson

How much sleep do you get on a typical night during the week? What about the weekends? For most people I know, the numbers vary considerably.

Yesterday morning, my body woke at the normal time, but given it was the weekend and I was extra tired, I passed up my morning workout and went back to bed for two more hours of needed rest.

My resistance to going to the gym was completely appropriate given that I needed more time to refresh and recharge after a full work week, which had already included numerous visits to the gym.

EXERCISE:

Where do you push, stretch, and challenge yourself to grow and expand your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual potential?

Where might stepping back and saying, “NO” to some of these growth opportunities be the best choice, needed to progress optimally through your life?

Resisting Change

“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain.”

-Rick Godwin, Megachurch Pastor

Dice spelling "change"

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertrz

Where are others in your personal or professional worlds experiencing modest, or even significant change?

Take the time to look deeply into their reasoning—on the surface, and at a deeper level.  What negative or undesirable future will come about due to the changes? What do they expect to lose as a result? What feelings and emotions are associated with such thinking? Where would greater understanding and empathy be helpful?

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would the recognition of the potential impact of change become a first step in looking at what gains may come from the situation?