Tag Archives: self-appreciation

Build a life for yourself that doesn’t require validation from others.

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Build a life for yourself that doesn’t require validation from others.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Giulia Bertelli

From the time we are born we seek validation from others.

Getting what we want from parents, teachers, friends, and work colleagues seems to be the key to opening the doors of successful living.

Beyond the nods, smiles, gold stars, and promotions some of us still find our lives lacking.

No matter how many fans we have, the search for more often continues.

How we measure our lives and know when enough is enough can be a very elusive quest.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you apply more of your own views of your life as the primary validation needed to see yourself as a success?

Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello

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Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello. A kind smile does wonders even when it comes from yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Shaurya Sagar

How do you start your days?

Who are the first people you see when you wake up and head out the door? Perhaps you are a mom or dad with a baby who wakes you early for a feeding.

Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other using the facilities or hogging the early morning covers.

Perhaps it’s a neighbor you see, out for an early morning walk with their dog.

Before everyone else, consider the person looking back at you in the mirror as you wash your face and shine those pearly whites. What type of greeting do you offer yourself as your day begins?

EXERCISE:

How would an extra moment of kindness and a friendly smile from and toward yourself be a wonderful way to begin your day?

If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking

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“If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking.”

—Niklas Goke, Author of The Four Minute Millionaire

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

We’ve all heard the phrase If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

This concept has served me well over the years when it pertained to other people. It works well — except when eye rolls and our body language betray us.

Turning this idea on ourselves is bit more difficult. It seems impossible to stop our inner critics and an external speaker isn’t necessary to deliver the bad news.

EXERCISE:

How often do you catch yourself talking to yourself?

How kind or critical are you during these inner dialogues?

What positive triggers can you put in place to send a little more kindness your way?

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first. It means me too

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“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first. It means me too.”

—L.R. Knost, Editor-in-Chief of Holistic Parenting Magazine

Image from Amazon

Do you eat a healthy diet? Get regular exercise? How much sleep and rest do you get to recharge and renew?

If your answers aren’t to your liking, most experts would suggest some significant upgrades.

We all fall out of balance from time to time but far too many people—for a variety of seemingly good reasons—are paying a very high price. They assume being selfless and always putting others first is the optimal way of living a meaningful life.

EXERCISE:

Pick up a copy of Adam Grant’s book Give and Take for an expert analysis of being other-ish as the way to go. I also recommend the book On Target Living by Chris Johnson if you want to re-evaluate your eating, sleeping and exercise strategies.

Take a moment today to write a Thank-Me note

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Take a moment today to write a Thank-Me note, a conscious expression of gratitude toward yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image created in Canva

As a business professional for over 40 years, I’ve come to learn the value of a courteous “Thank You.”

I fully support the idea that we work best with people we know, like, and trust. If your upbringing was like mine, your parents and others strongly encouraged — and most likely exemplified — this grateful gesture throughout their days.

We were always taught to focus on others and not ourselves, and most people learned to place their gratuitous efforts elsewhere.

When we experiment with this idea and flip it around to thank ourselves it feels awkward and a bit narcissistic.

If we ask ourselves objectively who did the work and took the necessary actions to get where we are, we can justifiably pat ourselves on the back and truly appreciate our disciplined efforts.

EXERCISE:

Take out a piece of paper and write a Thank Me note to yourself.

Begin by listing the things you do each day without thinking that serve you in being your best. If you are willing, send a copy of your letter to barry@dempcoaching.com

live love matter

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“At the end of our lives we will all ask, ‘Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?’”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Thinking business woman looking up on many bubbles with question marks on a grey background

Image from careerconfidential.com

Don’t wait a second more!

Ask these questions immediately. Don’t stop asking them until you discover the answer and do something about it, if your answer is not to your liking.

Take some time to deeply explore what it truly means to live, to love, and to matter.

Consider taking a look at the people you respect and admire, who could set an example for you to follow. Start spending more time with these people and let their expansive efforts, living, and loving soak right into your bones.

EXERCISE:

As you continue to live more fully a life with no regrets, how can you help others you care deeply about do the same?

Roll out the Red Carpet

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“Roll out the red carpet for each new day before you take your first step. Today you write your own script, tailor-made for yourself.”

—Laurent F. Carrel, Messages from Melanie

Image from Flickr by Nan Palmero

Image from Flickr by Nan Palmero

I met Laurent Carrel and learned about his book, Messages from Melanie, at a recent coaching conference. The book contains messages from his daughter who passed away 35 years ago, but has shared wisdom with her father in his sleep, every night since 2007.

When I think of “rolling out the red carpet,” I think of the rare occasions of great honor it offers to dignitaries, royalty, and people of great character.

What if we chose to see each day in our own lives as so miraculous and special that we rolled out the red carpet for ourselves before our feet touched the ground in the morning?

EXERCISE:

What would be the result of rolling out the red carpet for yourself and others in your world? How would the acknowledgement and appreciation of each new day improve your life?