Tag Archives: self-discipline

When angry, count to ten before you speak.

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“When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

—Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States

Image from Unsplash by Piotr Miazga

Have you ever considered how similar anger is to a bowl of hot soup?

This past winter, we discovered that our grandkids love my homemade chicken soup. They love slurping up the noodles and then lifting the bowl to drink every last drop of goodness.

Teaching them to blow on their spoons and waiting until the soup cools on its own is a lesson they quickly learned!

How do you cool things off when tempers flare?

Counting to 10, 100, or more is a proven method to allow boiling emotions to subside and let a cooler head prevail.

EXERCISE:

What other chicken soup remedies do you use when faced with heated emotions?

Where and with whom would Jefferson’s counting technique prevent things from overheating in the first place?

I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.

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“I only start counting sit ups once it begins to hurt.”

—Muhammad Ali, 20th Century American Boxer and activist

Image from Unsplash by Anastase Maragos

In the early years of my coaching career, I was fortunate to be selected for an amazing assignment — to coach the CEO of an exciting start-up tech company.

I was referred to this individual by another CEO I had been coaching for years, and who happened to be an angel investor in his organization.

Our relationship got off to a wobbly start and we needed a number of check-in sessions to sort out a few areas of misalignment.

The client, who was very direct, eventually told me that he wanted to “feel the burn” in our efforts, much like a personal trainer would do when working with their athletes.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life would feeling the burn and some pain from your efforts lead you to the gains you seek?

Make a pact with yourself

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Make a pact with yourself. It is up to you to see it through.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Elise Storsul

It is common to promise others what we intend to do. Giving and keeping our word is fundamental to the establishment of trust.

How impeccable are you with your word when it involves others? How trustworthy are you when these promises are made with yourself?

Consider the words promise, commitment, vow, and pledge as alternatives to the word pact.

Which if any do your find the most empowering and inspiring to help you see things through?

EXERCISE:

Where and on what matter is it time to make a pact with yourself?

How might you also engage others to support your efforts to fulfill this commitment?

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first. It means me too

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“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first. It means me too.”

—L.R. Knost, Editor-in-Chief of Holistic Parenting Magazine

Image from Amazon

Do you eat a healthy diet? Get regular exercise? How much sleep and rest do you get to recharge and renew?

If your answers aren’t to your liking, most experts would suggest some significant upgrades.

We all fall out of balance from time to time but far too many people—for a variety of seemingly good reasons—are paying a very high price. They assume being selfless and always putting others first is the optimal way of living a meaningful life.

EXERCISE:

Pick up a copy of Adam Grant’s book Give and Take for an expert analysis of being other-ish as the way to go. I also recommend the book On Target Living by Chris Johnson if you want to re-evaluate your eating, sleeping and exercise strategies.

“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

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“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

—Attributed to Carol Hegedus

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Burden

Today’s quote is a challenging question for most people. Upon close introspection, many of us realize that we are not doing the best of jobs tending to our life. We can be like a shepherd who falls asleep and notices upon waking that a good number of his flock have wandered off — or God forbid — were taken by a wolf.

Where have you been sleeping on the job or dilly-dallying through your days just letting the world pass you by, or following paths mapped out by others?

If you were to tell a stranger your life story up until today how likely would they stay riveted and engaged?

EXERCISE:

How can you do a far better job tending to the story of your life as you pen your upcoming chapters?

Consider reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller for ideas and inspiration?  Another book worth exploring is Someday Is Not a Day in the Week by Sam Horn.

Friday Review: Self Discipline

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FRIDAY REVIEW: SELF-DISCIPLINE

When and in what ways do you demonstrate discipline? Here are a few self-discipline related posts you may have missed.

 

“A committee of one gets things done.”

 

 

 

 

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”

 

 

 

 

“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is easy to miss.”

“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life,

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“When a great moment knocks on the door of your life, it is often no louder than the beating of your heart, and it is easy to miss.”

—Boris Pasternak, 20th Century Russian poet & novelist

Image from Unsplash by Rodion Kutsaev

I recently learned that our average level of digital engagement nearly tripled between 2007 to 2017.

Surprisingly, other aspects of our daily activities, such as sleeping, working, and commuting, have remained fairly stable.

We can all point to many positive aspects of our digital world, including increasing productivity, however more of us are now paying the price for this lack of digital well-being.

EXERCISE:

Mark Ostach, a Digital Well-Being Coach, suggests the following actions we can take to capture more of the “knocks on our doors” we may be missing:

  1. No digital gadgets at mealtime.
  2. Sleep device-free. Get a real alarm clock.
  3. Take a digital fast at least one hour each day.
  4. Make eye contact when talking.
  5. End your digital day one hour before bedtime.
  6. Go outside and get some fresh air.

 

A committee of one gets things done

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“A committee of one gets things done.”

—Joe Ryan, Author of Breaking Limits

Image from picturequotes.com

Much of my coaching involves supporting my clients in developing and expanding their leadership, management, coaching, and relationship skills. Mastering these skills helps them produce far greater results with and through others.

One consideration is the time it actually takes to reach their goals.

Today’s quote points to the speed and efficiency of leading oneself to a better future, managing our own efforts and resources, and adjusting our course for optimal results. Regarding relationship skills, rarely do we ever disagree with our own thinking!

EXERCISE:

There is an African saying, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Where and on what personal or professional priority is it appropriate to use your “committee of one” to get something done?

pointing at himself

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“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a man pointing one finger with three fingers pointing at himself

Image from idgconnect.com

There sure is a lot of finger pointing going on these days! Pick almost any hot topic in the news and you will see people on all sides taking dead aim at one another.

Blaming others, finding fault, and making others wrong seems wired into us in spite of the fact that we are all highly aware of its consequences.

EXERCISE:

Knowing that three fingers are always pointing back at us when we point at others, how can you take far more responsibility, accountability, and ownership regarding the events in every aspect of your life?

“The essence of self discipline is…”

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“The essence of self discipline is to do the important thing rather than the urgent thing.”

-Barry Werner, American Sportscaster

QC #802

When it comes to prioritizing our days and getting things done, most people are familiar with some form of Time Matrix that breaks tasks into four categories:

  1. Important and Urgent.
  2. Not Important, and Not Urgent.
  3. Not Important, but Urgent.
  4. Important, but Not Urgent.

Virtually everyone would agree that item #1 – Important and Urgent – would be given the highest priority, and item #2 – Not Important and Not Urgent – would be the lowest. The challenge for most people is sorting through the amount of time we devote – or should I say “lose” – by inadvertently slipping into more #3 – Not Important, but Urgent – than #4 – Important, but Not Urgent.

EXERCISE:

Where would the habit of greater discipline concerning the important matters in your life pay you the highest returns, personally or professionally?

Consider selecting a friend, family member, mentor, or coach to work with in this area as soon as possible.