Tag Archives: support

When we do our best to support others,

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When we do our best to support others, be careful to not limit the struggles that can enhance their growth and transformation.

—Calm App Reflection

Barry teaching Ella to use chopsticks

My granddaughter has taught me some valuable lessons over the past year that have improved my coaching efforts.

When we play together, I’ve noticed how often I take the initiative to help her with a particular task and on many occasions, she would coach me by saying “Ella Do!”

Although watching her struggle in many of her efforts can be difficult, it’s very joyful to see her tackle something new with a big smile, noting that she did it herself.

EXERCISE:

Where do you handicap those around you by carrying their load or reducing their struggles?

How might a better strategy to help them become stronger and more capable involve letting them do more of the heavy lifting?

The river never drinks its own water. The tree never tastes its own fruit.

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“The river never drinks its own water. The tree never tastes its own fruit. The field never consumes its own harvest. They selflessly strive for the well-being of all those around them.”

—Margaret Wheatley, American writer, speaker, and management consultant

Image from Unsplash by Wonderland

When we reflect on the complexities of our world it’s easy to see that most of it is man’s doing.

Who hasn’t considered the meaning of their life from time to time?

When we strip away all the chaos and delve into the natural world, our burdens become lighter and our visions become clearer.

Maybe life is simply about finding ways to serve and support others and the world.

When we do, everyone wins.

EXERCISE:

To what degree do you focus your daily efforts on serving others?

What would the world be like if we all made this our top priority?

To experience the “Givers Glow” and the “Helpers Halo,” offer

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To experience the “Givers Glow” and the “Helpers Halo,” offer your acts of service and support in direct and specific ways.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Maria Ziegler

A close friend of ours was recently hospitalized. We live in the same building and after her first call to 911, she called us.

As part of our mutual friendship, we exchange keys to one another’s condos to let ourselves in and support one another when there is a need.

In addition to our visits to the hospital, daily check ins, and making a few of her favorite foods when she got home, she kept recounting that getting to her so quickly was the key to knowing she was going to be OK.

EXERCISE:

What direct and specific acts of support and service are the keys to open the doors of your most important relationships?

What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride

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What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Copper and Wild

FULL QUOTE: “What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride? What lollipops of love do you give yourself and others to make the world a little sweeter?”

Wendy and I recently spent several days with the family of a very close friend who passed away suddenly.

During this time, family and friends from near and far gathered to acknowledge and celebrate this wonderful man.

Along with the tremendous outpouring of love and support, many of the people in attendance brought all types of treats for everyone to share as we offered sweet stories from the life of this very special soul.

EXERCISE:

How do you serve and support others in your communities facing challenging times?

What gestures and offerings ease the pain to help make life a bit sweeter?

There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love

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“There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love.”

—Shmuley Boteach, American Orthodox Jewish rabbi, author, and television host

Image from Unsplash by Bethany Beck

In my mind, there is perhaps no greater love than that of a parent for their children.

Consider everything a mom goes through including birth, sleepless nights, countless diaper changes, runny noses, potty training…. You get the idea.

Of course, fathers do their part, but moms are clearly the unsung heroes of the world.

Their influence in good times—and especially bad—have given all of us the enduring support to be who we are today.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you and do you acknowledge the greatness of the moms of the world?

How can you also acknowledge others in your life who do things they hate because of their deep love for you and others?

We’re better off when we’re all better off

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“We’re better off when we’re all better off.”

—Eric Liu, American writer and founder of Citizen University

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

I read a wide variety of blogs on a daily basis. Their wisdom and perspectives offer many ideas to add my two cents from time to time. Today’s quote was recently shared by Stephen Amant, who writes the Savenwood blog, which I encourage you to explore and consider becoming a subscriber.

Liu’s quote about bettering the lives of others as well as ourselves satisfies my spirit.

It helps me see that by leaning in to serve and support others in my communities I, too, will rise.

The idea of bettering myself while leaving others to do the same leaves me feeling empty.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you raise up others in your communities so that we are all better off?

 

Before you try to increase your willpower

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“Before you try to increase your willpower, try decreasing the friction in your environment.”

—James Clear, Writer, Entrepreneur and Behavior Science Expert

Image from Unsplash by Sandeep Singh

In any new coaching engagement, it is very helpful to examine the personal, social, and structural supports that are already in place.

Better outcomes are unlikely without a significant degree of motivation, ability, and willpower.

Having the social support of friends, family, and colleagues provides both encouragement and accountability.

Structural support is often trickier in that environmental cues already in place often trigger old, entrenched habits that do not serve new behaviors and better results.

EXERCISE:

Explore James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits for more ideas on this subject, and his 1-2-3 Newsletter to get you thinking differently to create better results in many areas of life.

I also recommend the book Influencer — The Power to Change Anything for other strategies to decrease the friction in our environments.

I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.

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“I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.”

—Maya Angelou, late American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist

Image from Unsplash by Matheus Ferrero

Who are the people in your life that you can always count on? Those special folks who are there in both good and bad times with just the right amount of support to aid you in your efforts? What qualities do you look for in them, and how do you stack up, given these criteria?

It is fairly rare to have a large list of such individuals in our lives. One way to attract more of these special people is to be one yourself.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life that are counting on you to always do your best? What specific actions are required of you today to not let them down?

Reflect on the ways you offer support to others

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Reflect on the ways you offer support to others.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

Wendy and I recently spent about a month in Pembroke Pines, Florida, within a community called Century Village. My mom and dad retired there over 25 years ago and loved their active lifestyle with many wonderful people. It’s now our turn to begin our own snow-birding lifestyle, to ease back on our work and enjoy the fruits of our labors.

This slower and more mindful pace has given me the time to observe the people in this community more closely and carefully. Noticing the many ways these welcoming and wonderful people support and celebrate their lives together is very satisfying, like a warm homecoming.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the ways you see people supporting one another in your various communities? What are the ways you can acknowledge this support and offer your own generous deposits to enrich the life of others?

“When things feel heavy, reach out to whomever is near and distribute the weight.”

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“When things feel heavy, reach out to whomever is near and distribute the weight.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Rémi Walle

This past spring and summer Wendy and I began and eventually finished our move from Michigan to Pennsylvania. Our last move prior to this was 29 years earlier and we had the services of a corporate relocation company that handled all the details — including most of the heavy lifting.

The added years and the lack of corporate support made this move far more demanding physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thankfully we were blessed with the help of our amazing children, friends, and some interesting out-of-the-blue strangers who came to the rescue to lighten our load.

EXERCISE:

Where have certain aspects of your life become heavy and difficult to manage? Who are some of the people in your various communities that can and would happily let you distribute this weight? Who in your life needs your assistance at this heavy time in their lives?